Category Archives: Atheism

Subjects pertaining to or of interest to atheists

Creating Final Justice Jesus

Current mood: crazy

Okay, I have a problem. I am obsessed with the new JDU. Seriously, I haven’t felt this since the first time I drew the goddamn thing 15 years ago. I am getting off on the hideous creations that come from combining the outfits. Like, right now I got JC in the stockings, clown shoes, Hitler jacket, Darth gloves, Charlie Manson wig, Hannibal mask, and Tinky Winky head over top of it all, and it’s fucking crazy shit. I mean fucking terrifying! Like I’ve never seen scarier shit than this comin’ at me in my darkest moments.

Then strap the fucking bomb to it and I’m lookin’ over my shoulder thinking the CIA is gonna spy this shit and follow me home. Then, just do this… take off the Hitler jacket. That’s it! Fucking crazy, right?

Oh my god. I’m going fucking mental here. I gotta solve this thing, whatever it is.

Okay, new costume. And this one is so basic. ready? The NAMBLA shirt, Hannibal mask, hitler hat, clown shoes & gloves. That’s it. Makes my heart fucking pound in terror. Try and tell me your heart wouldn’t jump right out of your chest if that Jesus was comin’ at ya in an alley. That fucking perverted creep, in those tighty whities. MOTHER FUCKER!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! And strap a bomb to this shit and it’s a whole new fucking monster. NAMBLA man, with a fucking bomb strapped on. That’s fuckin’ killer sharks on crack mother fucker!

But you wanna know the real deal? Do you wanna see something real and something fucking scary? Gacy clown suit, black boots, clown gloves, and, ready? Fucking Osama head and bomb on the chest. If that doesn’t give you the heeby jeebies nothin’ will. Fucking nothin’.

So I don’t know what this means. I don’t know if this means I’ve made the best Jesus dress Up ever that’ll never be matched, or if I’ve just gone fucking crazy and my darkest nightmares are there, on the page, staring back at me from that cross. All I know is that I can’t get enough.

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Police Close Down Starbucks

police tape in Starbucks
Police shut down Starbucks after someone’s laptop is stolen

In case you were wondering, now if you have your bag stolen at Starbucks in Manhattan the cops rope off the tables with “POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS” tape, tell people to leave the tables in the area, and several officers show up to take care of the situation and secure the area. Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture! ––

It’s happening right now. No, don’t worry everybody! I’m all right. I wasn’t hurt or anything! I guess maybe someone got there laptop ripped off or something. But the funny thing is, it’s two NYU students who got ripped off (duh), and the guy is using a crutch (guess that could be a reason he was a target/can’t chase). What’s even better is I’ve seen junkies get carried out of here on stretchers and they didn’t waste an inch of police tape on that shit. Hell, I think they even had a half-price-coffee party after that.

Final Justice at Starbucks
Starbucks shut down by police while I’m designing Final Justice Jesus Dressup

Oh yeah, as you can see in that picture I’m working on the new magnets. They’re gonna be the coolest thing yet. No joke. I got both Mansons, Hitler, the KKK, Osama, even Freddy Kruger on the goddamn thing. You ain’t never seen any shit like this before, and you’ll never see it again, so hold your fuckin’ breath. This is black market, back alley crimes right here. The shit’s gonna hit the fan when these get out there, and when it does I’ll be ready.

They’re actually closing this place down because of that stolen bag! Christ. Unbelievable.

“Bob Smith USA” NYC Premier

normal bob smith & insectavora
Normal Bob & Insectavora at Odessa following the Bob Smith USA Premier

So last night was the NYC premier of Bob Smith USA and it was great! I’d say that about 60 to 70 people showed up, which is great for a rainy Tuesday evening following the holidays. And it was a crazy collection of people. Geoffrey & Jason Blank (the NO POLICE STATE brothers from Union Square), Amber Ray and her colorful bunch of burlesque cuties, to Cony Island Freak Show celebrity Insectavora (Google her)! Christ she’s a funkin’ living doll. And Venessa, Colyn, all my friends made it, and quite a few people who I didn’t know. Even had a couple people there who were writing for small magazines and such. I was just happy to see everyone laughing and enjoying themselves through it all. It was the best. And strange, having all those people I know watching me up there, meeting my mother on the screen!

Then Two Boots threw a Beer & Pizza party afterwards for everybody downstairs. I had several beers, but was happy to find myself around so many friends, and pizza, and beer. Christ, I’d love it if Two Boots would show it again. I know word of mouth could sell out the next showing. Okay, enough rambling about how much I enjoyed myself last night. Now I need to find some way to catch up on the sleep.

Rochelle Hires a Hitman

“HIRING A HIT MAN THESE DAYS IS JUST SO EXPENSIVE BUT ITS WORTH IT.”

Subject: Hey You sick Fuck remeber Me

Hey Bobby Boy, Just to let you know hmm. It may not interest you but Your gonna die. NO No No JESUS isn’t gonna do it so don’t worry jesus isn’t gonna do it. But I know who is, You really wanna know ooops its a surprise, I like surprises do you well your gonna love this one. Cause I’m gonna send someone too trace you down and massacre you. OOOPS I JUST SPOILED THE SURPRISE OH ME OH MY. WELL NOW THAT YOU KNOW I’LL GIVE YOU A HEAD START TOO RUN, RUN AS FAST YOU CAN. CAUSE SOMONE IS COMING TO GET YOU AHAHAHA. DON’T YOU FIND THAT HIRING A HIT MAN THESE DAYS IS JUST SO EXPENSIVE BUT ITS WORTH IT. ANYWAYS SEE YOU ON THE NEWS OR SHOULD I SAY IN HELL.

Rochelle
hotness_2468@hotmail.com

Subject: Hey Rochelle

Fact is, someone who’s really hired a hitman wouldn’t give me a running head start, otherwise the hitman would be very mad at you and probably shoot you instead.

Go ahead and rewrite this if you want. I’ll pretend I didn’t see your mistake and give you a second chance to really scare me.

Bob

“i sure apologise for someone who use my email adress to threaten you”

Subject: I aplogise

i sure apologise for someone who use my email adress to threaten you i hope to talk to you sometimes i think you are quite interesting.

Rochelle

Subject: Oh, no problem.

Let’s just forget it ever happened. I mean, it was only a death threat instructing me to run RUN as fast as I can because a hitman’s been hired and he’s coming to hunt me down and kill me. What’s the big deal? Thanks for sending me that one sentence apology and that believable explanation. That clears everything up. Hey, why do you let other people use your HotMail account? Is it hard for them to get a HotMail account of their own?

I have another interesting question to ask you. You got my reply to your death threat that same evening. Okay, so here’s my question. Why didn’t you respond to it? I know that you read it (because you were “Chatting online with new friends” pretty late that night), so why did it take three days for you to clear up this situation? Don’t you think Jesus would have taken care of it that evening.

I have to admit, it sounds like you’re lying. Are you lying?
Bob

Aug 7, 2004

Subject: Hey, it’s me. The guy you’re murdering.

Maybe you could help me out with something. You said that someone else sent that email? Could you hook me up with that person’s contact information? I have a rather in-depth list of questions I’d like to ask this person. You know, about the hitman he hired and the death threat in general. In fact, I should probably just have all of the information on that person who used your email (better safe than sorry), so send me their name and email address and all of that info please.

Thanks in advance for sending me all of this, then we don’t have to get the police involved.

Bob

Aug 11, 2004

Subject: Where are you? Are you still killing me?

I still haven’t heard from you regarding the guy who snuck in, used your email and hired the hitman. Please get back to me regarding this.

It is quite important to me to get that information (because the hitman will kill me), so please send me anything you know about this immediately. If you really loved Jesus Christ you’d help save my life. Geesh, I really hate being a bother about all of this. I swear, if it wasn’t my life on the line I wouldn’t keep pestering you with this.

At least email me back so I can be assured that you weren’t simply lying to me and that you in fact are responsible for that death threat.Thank you for your time and patience.Maybe together we can get this maniac who emailed me behind bars!

Bob

Aug 22, 2004

Subject: Hey, just wondering. Am I a dead man?

Hey! I haven’t heard back from you ever again. I was wondering what’s going on? Is the hitman really from you? Are you just waiting for me to be bumped off so I’ll go away? I do not fully understand what’s going on.

At first I was a little worried about your safety seeing as how you have somebody hacking into your Hotmail account who hires hitmen to murder people, but now that you’re no longer replying to my emails I’m starting to think maybe the two of you are in on this together. Is that the case? Are you friends with the person who’s going to kill me? If it is then I’m definitely going to get the police involved.Please get back to me so that I know for sure if I should worry.Thank you for your quick and speedy reply. I’m not going away.

Bob


This is Rochelle. She’s the one who just threatened my life. She did not send this picture of herself to me. I had a source trace her email and find it, along with a lot of other information so that at the very least the authorities will know who to question. I debated what exactly to do in regards to this threat and decided that ignoring it just wasn’t on the list of options.

There are several things I want to illustrate by posting her death threat. First of all, I am not scared at all by an email. It turns out that there’s nothing emptier than the promises that come from strangers via the Internet. I also want to point out how stupid people can be and that those who do cave to threats like these are short changing themselves for no reason at all.

It’s also important to show just how seriously some people take my site and how far some believe “God’s message” should be taken. But the most important point I hope to make here now is this: Girls, if you want to be with me before I am knocked off, you’d better get here quick! I mean, imagine if you coulda been one of the few who fucked Kurt Cobain or John Lennon, or Ronald Reagan? Okay, I’m not sayin’ I’m at that level yet, but you can bet if I’m hit my fame should at least double! Right?

C’mon! You’re going to be kickin’ yourself if you miss this opportunity! Last chance! Tick, tock, tick, tock…