Yesterday while I was drawing here at the coffeeshop, a guy came over and asked what my tattoos meant. I noticed immediately the cross necklace he was wearing, but he was being very non-confrontational. Polite and friendly. Above each elbow I have a pointy tailed red devil crucified on a cross. I’ve given many different answers to this question in the past.
One time at the amusement park Michigan Adventure I was with my niece and nephews when a lady behind us in line abruptly stated “Is that a devil on a cross? That’s not right. What do those mean??” Not wanting to cause drama there in front of the kids I responded with, “It’s the devil, because that’s who SHOULD be nailed to the cross!” Sorta shocked, she said, “Oh, well, I guess I can get behind that.” And nothing more was said. My brother right after said, “That was slick.”
You can bet that back in the day when this happened in NYC I had no qualms getting loud and proud about my non belief. But I’ve calmed since. So I asked him if he wanted the quick answer because it’s kind of a deep topic. “I just wanna hear what it means to you. I don’t mind whatever. We’re all adults here.” My explanation went pretty much like this: “I was raised Christian, and taught that people’s wrongs, their sins, could be put onto someone else to pay for. I don’t believe that anymore. It’s a bad concept, taking your bad deeds and pushing them onto someone or something else who pays the price instead of you. Shifting the blame. In no way does that work. It defeats the whole purpose of punishment. It’s a scapegoat. So it’s crusifying the scapegoat.”
I told him how there’s some cultures where hey take a goat or a cow and the whole village puts all their bad deeds into the animal and they eat it, or banish it from town. Then all the people are cleaned of their wrongs. Jesus on the cross is just another version of that. And it’s not real. I understand why people want it to be true, but it’s just scapegoating.”
I could feel it churning up inside me to babble on and on, but I stopped there. He responded to me with “Thank you for that. I understand what you mean. I always enjoy hearing someone else’s perspective. Thank you.” Then we shook hands and that was all.
It was later I realized, yup, they’re crucified scapegoats.
And as I sit here now writing this, I’m overhearing two guys at a table next to me talking excitedly about their new church and how they’re trying to get more people to attend. All I can think about is how eager people are to be convenienced of scapegoating, and this will surely draw in people who want it.
It was the spring of 2010, and I was in my usual location, Union Square NYC. But right now I wasn’t ready to sit down on the steps. First I had to stop in at Forbidden Planet, which was just a block south on Broadway. It was a place I frequented not only because it’s a cool comic book store right in the neighborhood, but also it’s where I sold my Jesus magnets. On this particular day in the front part of the store was a kiosk set up to promote New York ComicCon! I was briefly stopped by the man at the booth, “Hello! Have you got your tickets for ComicCon yet?”
ComicCon was something I’d never really considered at this point, and at the moment I was here for other purposes. As usual, I strolled around the store to find the magnets and how many sold. But they weren’t in their usual spot, or anywhere for that matter. So I go to the front counter and see my guy Matt who manages there. “I think you’re sold out of my magnets? I don’t see them anywhere.”
Matt checks the computer and tells me there’s still some here, somewhere. So together we start the search. The guy from ComicCon overhears our struggle, and gets interested in whatever this is that someone would go through the trouble to hide. A few minutes pass and Matt shouts “Found ‘em!” picking a pile of them off the ground where they’d been tucked behind a display. “It happened again!” He was referring to the other time an offended customer hid my offensive product within the store. To inhibit sales I suppose. The guy from ComicCon was asking to see what the hell this product was. His name was Mark, and when he saw the Jesus Dressups he laughed, “We’ve got to have these at ComicCon!”
I explained how that was pretty much out of the question. Booths were well out of my price range. “I’m just one guy, and this is pretty much my only product.” Not enough to cover $2,400+ for the smallest, cheapest booth. And this year was actually going to be a far bigger event than just ComicCon. They were combining the Anime Festival and the BookExpo, all 3 in one huge event at the Javits Center. It was just out of the question. “I cannot sell $3,000 worth of these in 4 days.” I told him.
As he held it in his hand he said, “I really want you to consider it. I can get you half off on that booth, $1200. These are just too funny.” And he gave me his card. I went back to Union with that card in my pocket, and decided then and there, “I’m going to make this happen.”
It was taking place the first week of October, so I had months. Enough time to get a brand new set printed up special. A Limited Edition Star Wars Jesus Dressup! I was going all out. My friends could dress up as Jehovah’s Witnesses & Catholic schoolgirls to take part! I would print banners and flyers. It was all very exciting.
ComicCon / October 2010 One of the silly brainstorms I had was to have a couple friends dressup as Jehovah’s Witnesses; white shirt, black tie, shoes & slacks, and of course, name tags. Searching the internet I found a place that could print buttons exactly like the ones JWs wore. It was in Utah, and I had the button design all worked out. I called and placed an order for all 6 in our group, and it read:
NORMAL BOB SMITH MINISTRIES THE CHURCH OFJESUS DRESSUP REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS “Just Google Jesus!”
Oh, I thought I was so clever. Unfortunately, just days before the event the button place returned my money and sent an email telling me they were refusing the job due to conflict of interest. Of course! This was a place run by Jehovah’s Witnesses who manufactured buttons for other Jehovah’s Witnesses, of which I was clearly not. I can only imagine the discussion that took place when they Googled Jesus. Luckily I was able to find another place last minute, right in midtown Manhattan to have them ready the next day. Leave it to New York City.
Owen, Amanda, Kenya, Bob, Mary & Christine
We were ready! The shipment of Star Wars JDUs arrived on time, looking fantastic! My cousin Owen flew in, plus my roommate Christine and her friend Amanda donated themselves. And two friends from Union, Mary & Kenya, all agreed to take part. We’d gotten a couple magnetic boards so people could play with Jesus inside our booth. Printed up posters, and flyers to be handed out. Then I rented a UHaul truck for all the stuff to set up.
SETUP Wednesday October 5th was setup day. I had rented the smallest UHaul to transport everything from Bushwick Brooklyn to the Javits Center on the west side of Manhattan. I knew this was going to be the next challenge. These boxes of rubber magnets are heavy. At the time I had six versions; The Original, BDSM, Xmas, Superstar, Halloween and of course the new Star Wars. One box of these holds 40 sets and each box is about 20 pounds. My expectations were high, so I brought 4 or 5 boxes of each. A quick rounded approximation was about 600 pounds of boxes to be transported from my 3rd floor apartment through the city to booth 2868 at the convention center, by foot. It was a lot.
The instructions we’d received from the event told us everything we needed to know about delivering our goods to the booth. They even encouraged us to use the people working there to help. When we arrived there were signs directing us to the back of the building, and sure enough, there were guys there telling us where to back the truck up and unload. Inside the building on the loading dock my friends and I were told to unload everything onto a pallet ourselves, then they used a forklift to carry it into the building to our spot. We were all extremely happy that it was all going by forklift.
The Jesus Dressup booth ComicCon 2010
The event was the most crowded convention I’d ever seen. Tens of thousands showed up to fill up that building to/and over its capacity. It was so crowded that often people wanting to stop at booths could not because the crowd was too thick and would whisk them away. There were nearly a hundred thousand people at the convention that year!
It also turned out that I may have dressed my friends a little too realistically. Christine, Owen and Kenya who I’d sent into the crowd dressed as Jehovah’s Witnesses carrying clipboards and promotional supplies had trouble getting anyone to pay them attention. “Everyone we approach tries to avoid eye contact and get away from us!” No one at ComicCon wanted to be evangelized too! Go figure. So yeah, that idea of mine kinda backfired.
SATURDAY At conventions like these, Saturday is the busiest. It’s assumed that Thursday and Friday most people are doing more browsing than buying. Saturday most people have the day off, and because it’s nearing the end of the event, everyone shows up and spends. Sunday is a shorter day, and most booths pack up early to beat the mass exodus. There’s always a palpable feel in the air that this circus is about to leave town. So Saturday morning we show up ready to rock, and there’s an envelope on our table addressed to me. It was a bill for $4,400 from the Javits Center for services rendered in transporting 600 lbs of product via forklift to our station. I was crushed.
We’d befriended the couple who were running the booth to our left, who sympathized, “We had precisely the same thing happen to us at another convention. We learned our lesson.” It included a letter stating that before the end of the day Sunday we’d be required to make payment, or provide the means in which to do so. What would have been a great Saturday was totally affected by that wretched invoice.
I am so extremely relieved and delighted today announcing the successful arrival and absolute perfection of the new BDSM Jesus Dressup! They arrived yesterday after a long 5 month wait (blame the pandemic). In the past it used to take 2-3 months from the initial order, across the Pacific, then across the country to my doorstep. Despite the longer timeline, and the increase in shipping cost, they’re still very affordable.
They also look better than ever. This go around I wasted no space in the design. All the text that used to be at the bottom of every set, that’s gone forevermore. In addition the die technology has advanced enough to butt the cut right up to the art, and all of the separate pieces squeezed closer to each other on the page. This makes way more space for way more items. Not to mention the art and colors are just so so pretty. I’m such a proud daddy.
But these aren’t the only reasons I’m so over-the-top. This order was a test. I was testing to see if I for sure had a new supplier who could deliver. Now I know the answer is yes. As a result I have 2 more sets already in production and expected this summer. And what this means is, I am back in business! You just wait to see what I’ve got comin’ next.
Hi Bob,
I just wanted to tell you that my hard bumps in life have been softened by your genius. I broke free from the church in the 90’s and when I was crucified I found so much strength reading through your site.
I just wanted to say thank you for all the nights I didn’t know where to go and just read and read your site. I felt complicated and couldn’t sleep and found laughter and resolve for myself and the path I wanted. You are a true humanitarian. Thank you for publishing your journey. I mean it with all my heart.
Wishing you all the best,
Joy
Wow, Joy! I’m curious what exactly inspired you to write me now? Thank you so much. It does mean a lot to me to hear I made a difference. I have to admit I feel like I’ve been out of the game since I left NYC in 2015. Then add on the pandemic and middle of winter… I feel in limbo.
Do you remember how you first came across the site?
Normal Bob
Hmmm… I grew up in the bay area. My friends were nerds and all over the internet back when there were message boards and it was dial up. They sympathized with my bible thumping home life mismatch, and told me to read your site to feel like I’m not alone and see what normal people would say to the cultish things my parents would tell me. It definitely was all the empowerment I needed. Instead of crying or being traumatized after my parents tried to exorcise me at 17 I read NormalBob.
At 27 when a creep I was dating lied about being a hardcore born again and tried to evangelize me. I was so creeped out I couldn’t sleep… But I remembered NormalBob and read through all the things until well after the sun came up. Everything in the world felt okay again. I’m not exaggerating. You really did restore my balance and help me when religion was a scary monster and occasionally an evil cult.
It’s totally understandable that your inspiration and muse can wax and wane and your voice and passions might shift and change. You have lots to give. I’m sure you will find that again in a way that feels authentic. Maybe don’t try so hard. When you feel passion follow it without expectations. Be open.
There’s a million things to be opinionated about, or compassionate or passionate about during these days. Judgment is a way we are in overdrive because it keeps us safe and alive. Don’t feel pressure to be anything you were or did before. Now is uncharted.
It’s also okay if you were a humanitarian for a long time and you do other things these days. That’s still a lot to be proud of yourself for!
In the Netflix show Pretend It’s A City, Fran Lebowitz makes a lot of great points about why New York drives people to be pushy and opinionated. How every other city in America fails at that in comparison. Why that’s so valuable. You might want to check it out. She’s amazing!
Joy
I really appreciate you letting me in on all these personal details. And I have indeed continued to express myself however I see fit despite it not being as popular as what used to be. I’m doing my best to continue whatever dream it is I have for my future while being as authentic as possible.
Would you be alright with me posting this conversation along with a picture of you (if that’s ok)? I think it’d interest people. I’d also be happy to send you a set of Jesus Dressup magnets, if only as a reminder on your fridge that it’s all to be laughed at.
Thank you!
Normal Bob
I would be honored to be published on Normal Bob Smith.
That really is full circle and rad.
Yes to Jesus dress-up!!!
Thanks so much,
Joy
