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I told my Parents I smoke Weed

Living with my 90 year old conservative Christian parents has had its share of challenges. There’s been arguments. Usually political. But those differences work their way into other insignificant disagreements as well. I’m genuinely working to improve the way I handle these things on my end. This particular week has added to that challenge. I haven’t been keeping myself properly hydrated since this heat & humidity kicked in. Too much coffee and not enough water has resulted in a UTI. So it stings when I pee. I’m drinking lots of water and it’s getting better, but it doesn’t help ease tensions within.

Shotzi

There’s a bit too many similarities to how things were 40 years ago living with m&d. Our unchanging differences, this floppy-eared schnauzer that’s almost identical to my childhood dog, all going out to dinner at Auntie M’s. I often have flashbacks to how things were back when I was a bratty kid. Only now I’m an adult. But that child’s behavior is still there wanting to rear it’s ugly head. And this was exactly the sort of thing I’m trying to work on. To eliminate those tendencies from my collection hiding beneath the surface.

Right around the block from us lives my Auntie M & cousin Ben. And today is Ben’s birthday. So the four of us went to their house for Rubens and chocolate cake to celebrate. It’s my dad, mom, & Shotzi headed over to their house. 5pm sharp.
Oh, and they have three big dogs -Dud, Bud & Missy. One of which is a brand new, over-energetic Chocolate Lab puppy – Bud. Our 8 year old schnauzer has already met the new pup, and hates him. He’s flipped her on her back a couple times already. In fact, I think it’s safe to say all the dogs are as annoyed with the new puppy as we all are.

I’m carrying Schotzi in my arms as the three of us are approaching the door. Bud had previously ran right through this door knocking out the screen. So when we arrived there was no containing him. He came pouncing at us all at his peak of hyper upon our arrival, bouncing up and down trying to get at Schotzi in my arms.

My dad and mom are in front of me, and they’ve stopped moving into the house. That’s what you do when you’re entering someone’s home. You stop on the floor mat and say hello to the room while you wipe your feet! My folks were oblivious to the storm building behind them.

Ben had come outside to retrieve the dogs that escaped, but now he’s pushing us from behind trying to close the door. This is when Bud hooked his front paws onto my pants and pulled the entire left side of them down to my knees, exposing my bright aqua boxer briefs in front of everybody. My mom, dad, cousin and aunt. The whole family. I’m struggling to keep from pushing my rickety father forward while my pants are down at my knees. Laughter and barking is all that can be heard as this unrestrained pup reigns hellfire upon us all. And that’s when I fully stumbled forward pushing my dad from behind.

Luckily he steps to the side, but I’m continuing to get pushed forward by the crowd of animals and people behind me. That’s when my legs get tripped up by this oversized footstool and it brings me down in a humiliating pile of furniture and dogs falling forward in slowmo. I hit the ground, spilling Schotzi from my arms, and I basically flop like a dead fish onto the floor. It was dramatic enough to fling my eye glasses across the floor and under the table.

All I hear is laughter. None of it from me. It was rough having to look up and everyone is laughing uncontrollably at me. I could feel my face turning red. And everyone else had resigned from doing anything to help. Shotzi was still in a fit of rage. And so was I. 

I got up, pulled up my goddamn pants, and yelled, “SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET HURT!” for some reason. 
I was mad, and embarrassed.
“I’m taking Schotzi home.” and I scooped her up, and while I was storming out my aunt yelled, “Are you coming back for dinner??”
“I NEED A MINUTE!!” As I slammed the door behind me.

P2 – Hot Stew

This is the only pic of me from that evening

On the way home I stewed. I was embarrassed. I could feel my face still red, and I did not want to come back at all. This’ll be a story to be told again and again, and I gotta be that guy in that story. And did I mention, it stings when I pee still?

I wanted to pout. I wanted them to feel bad. I wanted to cancel dinner and make a scene. In fact, maybe that’s what I’ll do. I’ll just not go back and not call and that’ll make them think twice! 
This was exactly the sort of thing I was trying to work on. So when I got home I sat in the family room with my dog and I smoked a bowl.

I sat there with Shotzi staring out the window thinking of the different ways I could handle this situation. How the rest of the evening would go was in my hands. And it was then I realized how this situation I am in is actually very very good.
• I can do whatever I want, say whatever I please, just as long as I’m a good sport.

When I fully realized this fact, all the anxiety vanished instantly. Like magic. Because adult Bob knows how to be a good sport. Especially if I’m stoned.
So I got high, promised my dog a walk upon my return, and headed back on over to my cousin’s birthday dinner without a care in the world. 

They were just finishing their Rubens and cutting the cake when I showed up. My aunt asked me very kindly if I was alright. And I could tell they were all anticipating the various ways this could possibly go.

Auntie M, mom, dad,
Ben w/Dud & Bud.
Shotzi had to go home.

Standing there in front of them all I spoke.
“I decided there’s actually a benefit to having had my pants pulled down, and then pushed to the ground in front of you all this evening. Falling on my face to the sound of laughter from you all, my family.”
Only stunned silence as I continued.
“I realized, as long as I’m a good sport about what happened tonight, I can do whatever I want for the rest of the evening. So I smoked a bowl! I’m really stoned, and I am looking forward to this Ruben sandwich!” 

Then I pulled up a chair and truly enjoyed that fuckin sandwich. And it was all sooooooo good. 

Happy Birthday Ben!

P3 – Their Response

Everyone’s immediate response was shock. There was no laughter, smiles, or even a “Good for you!”
While I spoke it looked like they were expecting me to pull eggs out of my pockets and start using their faces for target practice. They were all simply stunned. And I cannot deny this felt good to me.
My Aunt was the first to say, “Well that’s good to hear. And I’m sorry for laughing Bob. We couldn’t help it. It was so outrageous!”

My mother’s first words were, “I never found it funny. I hated it. I’ve never liked slapstick humor!”
So she didn’t have to apologize.
And I’ve heard her say any combination of those 3 sentences probably a dozen times since. But in the days to follow she’s expressed to me how completely astonished she was that I could do that. “I could never do that. Never. I don’t know how you did it.” Which is the #1 reason why when I finally left to take Schotzi on a walk (and write this story), my departing words were, “I was just trying to be a good example.”

And my father’s reaction? – “What’s he talking about? He wants cake??”
When he finally did get the full picture he kinda shook his head with disgust and went back to eating his cake. You’re hard pressed to get a reaction outta my dad when there’s a dessert in front of him. But in the end they (Ben included) all acknowledged how impressed they were I had that in me and apologized for laughing.

I’ve had to control myself in some really harsh situations in NYC. But it’s at a different level when its, say, your own mother, for instance. Here a few days later she’s had the strongest response. Like she’d witnessed a miracle happen right before her eyes, and no way to explain it. I’d love to find out she took notes. 

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My Hollywood Runaway Punkrock Adventure P1

Part 2 – Mark/Drunk Driver
Part 3 – Dealing in LA

Normal Bob selfie 1988 Hollywood first night
Normal Bob selfie 1988 Hollywood first night

RUNAWAYS
When I was a teen I ran away from home. Not “Climbing out the bedroom window in the middle of the night” runaway. I wanted to drop out of my senior year, skip graduating, skip college, skip getting a job, and instead follow my heart to Hollywood California. Forever! It took some arguments, but my folks talked me into at least graduating. Then I could spend my graduation money on a one way ticket outta here. No one was going to change my mind. My mom even sent me to her therapist to talk me out of it. After a couple visits she told my mom, “He’s fine. You’re gonna hafta let him do it” or something to that effect. To which my mom left the state to stay with her mother so she wouldn’t hafta be around when I split.
That sorta runaway.

Erika returns to talk me into Hollywood. 1988
Erika returns to talk me into Hollywood. 1988

1988 was my graduating year. I was still a virgin in pretty much every way. A bored, frustrated teenager in a dull suburb of Denver – Lakewood, Colorado. And I wanted OUT. My self esteem was at a dismal low. I was barely going to graduate, and there was only one shining smile in my life that lit up my heart whenever her name was spoken. Erika.
She and I had been friends our whole lives. When we were little in Wisconsin for several years, and then later when both our families ended up in Colorado. High school was going to be the first time though that we ever attended the same school. I was so excited about this. We both were! She was the sweetest, prettiest girl to me. That’s really all it took.

Bob & Erika's Secret Hideout
Bob & Erika’s Secret Hideout

It was at this time I was discovering punk rock. I took a picture of Sting into SuperCuts and got my hair spiked. I was finding out about all sorts of new bands while fantasizing about being a punk rocker just like what I saw in the movies. My life at the time was nothing at all punk rock. And I idolized Erika. She was into the scene I wanted to be in at our school. Or better said, They knew of her! Erika became a legend there.

Erika & Bob b4 punk. Colorado 1986
Erika & Bob b4 punk. Colorado 1986

At least amongst the punks & wavers at Bear Creek High 87-88. And deservedly so. She would come to school with some of the most outrageous, imaginative fashion statements I’d ever seen. She was hanging out with real city punk rockers too, with 3 foot mohawks and ten inch fingernails. Like this guy, Deragos who had a huge hawk, and Barbie heads hanging from his spiked leather jacket! Serious shit for that suburb.

Erika 1988 Hollywood CA
Erika 1988 Hollywood CA

She was the first in our school to pierce her nose. She pierced her own nose, during class! Half a dozen piercings on each ear. She dyed her hair and shaved her eye-brows. She even had a pet rat she brought to school and let crawl around in her sleeves. She once showed up to school in a hospital gown with lines drawn on her face like she was insane. But at the same time she was the sweetest, friendliest person you could ever hope to meet. Smiles and nice things was all I saw when I saw her.

Then she ran away, for real. During our junior year, her and this loser guy, Skyler jumped in a beater car and fled to Hollywood to be punk rockers, Suburbia style. In this town news of her escape swept across the scene. Every time anyone was around they’d ask me,

Erika 1988 Hollywood CA
Erika 1988 Hollywood CA

“Have you heard from Erika? How’s she doing? Anything at all about Erika?”
They all genuinely cared about this girl who was so strange and sweet, then just disappeared.

She did return though. She didn’t stay with Skyler long, and early into my senior year, she came back to visit. She wanted me to join her in this adventure. We’d written back and forth a few times so she understood how I was suffocating.

Bob Erika Crush 1987 Colorado
Bob Erika Crush 1987 Colorado

Mind you, Erika had no idea the size crush I had on her. Or that I even had one at all. We were friends. Best friends for all she knew, and to be fair that’s all I ever led her to believe. I was very safe. Our family had always felt safe. And she wanted to bring some of that feeling back with her, if she could just talk me into it.

Bob & Erika 1988 birthday at Ed Debevic's Hollywood
Bob & Erika 1988 birthday at Ed Debevic’s Hollywood

I arrived in LA June 13, 1988 on a midnight flight. I walked out of the gate at LAX and this guy looking like Slash from Guns & Roses comes right up to me saying, “You gotta be Bob! I’m Mark, Erika’s boyfriend. We’re gonna take you to where she’s at!”
This was the very first I’d ever heard of Mark.

Tiina & Erika 1988 Ed Debevic's on Bob's birthday
Tiina & Erika 1988 Ed Debevic’s on Bob’s birthday

So I followed him out to the street where Tiina (Erika’s roommate) had a car running.
“The breaks in this are completely shot, so hold on!” Tiina warned. Then every time she needed to stop or slow down she’d slam the brake pedal hard as she could on the floor, and maybe steer into the curb, or bump up against something like a sign, or the car in front of her to fully stop. Then she and Mark would both turn, look at me and laugh.
Whenever anyone asks me “What was LA like then?” There ya go.

Mark Erika & Steve 1988 Hollywood w/my punkrock suitcase
Mark Erika & Steve 1988 Hollywood w/my punkrock suitcase

Erika waitressed the graveyard shift at the Denny’s on Sunset & Gower Gulch. When these two somehow managed to get me there, Erika, in her brown uniform was all smiles. I got a great big hug, a dozen questions, and even more compliments from her. But most importantly, her adoration. Plus she told me anything on the menu that didn’t need the kitchen I could eat for free! Seeing her changed everything. I decided I could do this “pretend to be only friends” thing, as long as she’s nearby.

That night at Denny’s, there was this raggedy dressed woman in a nearby booth coughing, and gagging, and throwing a fit over her table of scattered plates. She kept coughing, and more coughing, yet everyone was ignoring her.
“CALL AN AMBULANCE!” She would scream. She was gagging hysterically while the waiter was standing there with the check, unmoved. This went on with everyone in the restaurant trying to ignore her. Eventually an ambulance pulled up. She made a bit of a scene there on the floor at my feet before they got her out completely and into the truck.

“She does that so she doesn’t have to pay. Works every time.” Erika explained.
That’s how it all began.

To be continued…

• The very next day they took me to see The Vandals! I saw lots of cool shows there. Here’s some flyers I brought from Hollywood ’88.

Part 1 -Runaways
Part 2 – Mark/Drunk Driver
Part 3 – Dealing in LA

My Hollywood Runaway Punkrock Adventure P2

Part 1 -Runaways
Part 3 – Dealing in LA

Tiina & Erika striped socks 1988 Hollywood
Tiina & Erika striped socks 1988 Hollywood

HOLLYWOOD
Erika & Tiina had a two-bedroom off Hollywood Blvd up a ways on Ivar. I had a sleeping bag on the floor in a corner of Erika’s room, while she & Mark slept in its walk-in closet. Just enough room for a mattress on the floor and a desk lamp in there.

Tiina’s room was the entryway living room. But while I was staying she spent most evenings at her boyfriend’s. In her room there was a coat closet decorated inside with Christmas lights, art, drawings on the wall, and a mattress closed off by a mirrored sliding door. She let me sleep in there when she was away. Her room also had the TV.

Cosma Shiva's litter in Erika's lap 1988 Hollywood
Cosma Shiva’s litter in Erika’s lap 1988 Hollywood

Besides that, I don’t think there was even one piece of furniture in the whole apartment. Mostly just empty rooms with white walls and desklamps on the floor, a couple fans, and various stuffed animals scattered around. The kitchen at the end of the hallway did have a table littered with old pizza boxes, and a litter of kittens that’d just been born underneath.

None of this mattered to me though. The fact that I was here with Erika was enough. A routine for me actually started right off. Sleepin’ during the day, and wakin up about nighttime. Then I’d go to Denny’s so I could walk her home when her shift ended at 2AM. I’d go from Ivar to Hollywood to Vine to Sunset in the wee hours. These walks were always eventful.

Tiina mohawks Bob on bday 1988 Hollywood
Tiina mohawks Bob on bday 1988 Hollywood

One time, from across the street, I saw two guys trying to smash a giant cement block through a storefront. The cage was pulled down, but these guys repeatedly picked up this giant block and hurled it into the cage. It’d make a loud crashing noise, but little else. They did this until I strolled out of view. They didn’t even notice me.

I was being regularly propositioned by men from their automobiles on these dark, empty streets. Station wagons, and 4-door sedans would slow way down next to me with the driver’s side window down just a crack, “Hey! Hey Pretty! Are you available? Wanna get in? How much?”
They were best described as “suburban dad” types. Mark told me “Just shout FUCK OFF! as loud as you can and act crazy. These guys are all cowards and they’ll run.”
He was right. They’d speed off, seemingly panicked. Mark gave me a lot of good advice on how to handle myself on the streets there.

Mark after haircut 1988 Hollywood w/Iggy poster & Bonko drawn on a paper bag.
Mark after haircut 1988 Hollywood w/Iggy poster & Bonko drawn on a paper bag.

MARK
Mark was a Mexican rocker dude from East LA. Erika had met him just before I arrived. Tiina knew him already because he sold them acid, more than once.
He was often mistaken for a Cholo or a Suicidal, but he wasn’t part of any gang. He both sold & consumed a lot of drugs. Pot, acid, crack, pills, beer. He’d take whatever people handed him. He had a habit of locking himself in that closet so he could smoke crack. He made it very clear to all of us to never disturb him if he was in there with the door shut.

He certainly seemed dangerous. He had a look and an attitude that projected aggression. But the truth, he was ready to sacrifice his own wellbeing for anyone he really cared about. I don’t think Mark actually put much value on himself at all. There were multiple times when he jumped in to protect both Erika & me in some pretty dangerous situations. I drew a whole comic (bottom of page) of the time he stood up to skinheads and took a knife to the stomach for me. Probably saved my life, actually. Trip to Emergency, for sure.

Mark & Bob rock leather jackets & sneakers! 1988 Hollywood
Mark & Bob rock leather jackets & sneakers! 1988 Hollywood

One of my first nights there however, Mark was drunk and they got into an argument about basically Erika liking me more than him. He started yelling at her. And the second she looked scared I burst out “You better not yell at her! You may beat me but I’ll fight!” or something to that measure. To which he ended up breaking down crying and taking a couple walks around the block. Then when he came back he made it clear to me, to Erika and I both that he’d never do that again.

He told me later he respected I did that, and over the next couple weeks we became friends. It wasn’t unusual for me to get woke by him singing a song on his guitar, “Bob, woah Bob, woooooah Bob, Bob. won’t you wake up at 6 o’clock in the morning and smoke a joint with me Bob.”
It’s on a cassette. He recorded himself over one of my mix tapes.

And then the other time he yelled out his love for me was when he was really drunk and high then he smashed the beer bottle over his head to prove it. Took him three cracks to finally break that glass bottle on his head, but he did it, because that’s the kind of guy he was.

BONKO! '88 felt marker on paper bag
BONKO! ’88 felt marker on paper bag

DRAWING
I was drawing through all of this. I drew while I was waiting for Erika at Denny’s. I drew while I was waiting for Erika at the apartment. I even drew at a coffeeshop, waiting for Erika. But I didn’t use a sketchbook. Too expensive, and preppy! Strictly scrap pieces of paper. Like note cards, paper bags, backs of old documents. Throwaway stuff like that.

Hollywood '88 folder
Hollywood ’88 folder

And I kept it all in a manila folder I found at their apartment. It was blank when I got it, and I never drew on it again once I left. In fact, I think Mark drew a couple of those devils on the back.
The psycho clowns on the other hand, are all me all day long.

Tiina & Steve 1988 LAX
Tiina & Steve 1988 LAX

DRUNK DRIVER
Steve was in a band with Mark, but really the only reason Steve was around was so the girls could mooch his pickup truck. Since Tiina’s ride lacked breaks, Steve was the way to get around. But driving anywhere was always a last resort because the freeways in LA are hell. Traffic and traffic jams that went on forever. And once at the tail end of one of these blistering jams, at a dead stop, in the middle of the day, we got rear ended by a drunk driver.

• Diary entry June 25, Friday, 1988, 4:14AM – 4 days ago we’re driving in Steve’s truck on the freeway. I was in the back of the pickup and I saw another truck racing towards and they were going to hit us. They didn’t hit the breaks ’till they were about 100 ft away and they bounced off a VMW at about 40 mph and nailed us. She (the driver) was drunk and no one with us was hurt. Oh! But Erika hurt her jaw and it was a mess.

Sleeves of leather coat from LA
Sleeves of leather coat from LA

I still have the white paint mark from Steve’s truck on my leather jacket where I slammed down. The lady stumbled out and she had a guy with her. They were both drunk dumping their beer cans off the side of the road. Then they tried to get away and bystanders had to catch them. But we didn’t get to see all that because Erika and I were in the back of an ambulance headed to Emergency. We both had minor injuries. They checked us for whiplash and taped up our scratches. Then when time came for us to leave, the staff started hassling us for not having insurance, and being unable to pay. I remember they threatened me saying, “If you walk out on this bill it’s going to ruin your credit forever!”
LA liven’ was starting to wear me down.

to be continued…

• This is the comic I drew of Mark getting stabbed after the 45 Grave show. He almost got us all killed, yet also saved us. True Story. Judge for yourselves.

Part 1 -Runaways
Part 2 – Mark & the Drunk Driver
Part 3 – Dealing in LA

My Hollywood Runaway Punkrock Adventure P3

Part 1 – Runaways
Part 2 – Mark/Drunk Driver

Bob & Erika LAX 1988
Bob & Erika LAX 1988

DEALING IN LA
My initial plan was for this move to be permanent. Erika and I envisioned ourselves getting jobs on a movie set. Then, while working on movies, one of us was sure to get discovered and our celebrity after that was pretty much inevitable. We had many exciting discussions on how easily all this would transpire once I got there. “That’s how Johnny Depp was discovered!” we sang. But in reality 10 days into this trip and I was already running out of cash. Going to shows, and food, and souvenirs, my inability to manage money, and Iggy Pop merch, that dream I once dreamt wasn’t coming true. I was down to just $60 and doing absolutely nothing towards getting a job despite the opportunities I was being offered nightly on my walks to Denny’s. It became obvious this trip was not going to be just one way.

Tiina & Luey 1988 Hollywood
Tiina & Luey 1988 Hollywood

I also couldn’t get enough time with Erika,  when it’s just us hanging out and thinkin’ up stuff to do. There was always some wild friend demanding attention, or someone bleeding on the doorstep. And Mark needed her attention too. It was more than she could manage, I’m sure.

Iggy Pop flyer 1988 Hollywood Scream
Iggy Pop flyer 1988 Hollywood Scream

Then news got to me that Iggy was playing a show next month. The 9th of July at Scream. Tiina’s boyfriend Luey said he was friends with Iggy’s son and would have no problem getting us all on the guest list. Hell, we’d probably even get to go backstage and meet him. I mean, it’s Iggy Pop’s son! All I had to do was just think of a way to survive long enough to make this show. After that I would start planning my return home.

And again, with his streetwise, it was Mark who had a suggestion on what to do. He said it’d be easy for him to turn my $60 into $600, and we all knew what he was talking about. Erika was completely opposed and didn’t want any part of this. There was an argument. But I was confident in Mark’s plan. Our plan! So I told her, “I take full responsibility if something goes wrong. Cross my heart.”
It would be just Mark and me. So I cashed my last 3 traveler’s checks and gave it to Mark. I really wanted to see Iggy Pop.

Mark posing in hallway 1988 Hollywood
Mark posing in hallway 1988 Hollywood

Cherokee Ave was the street to buy & sell drugs. Right near there was a little coffeeshop. All I had to do was spend the day there drawing with my bag filled with these individually wrapped packets of weed he’d divided up. There were A LOT of these packets. Mark stuffed my bag. So stuffed it was bulging! He laughed telling me, “No one in a million years will suspect you’re sitting in here with this.”

I didn’t spike my hair or punk myself out. I wanted to look like a noob. And for the record, it wasn’t an act. I did no drinking or drugs the whole time there. I didn’t do them anywhere in my life. Not even so much as smokin a joint with Mark. It’s the one thing I promised myself about that trip. No drugs!

The UK SUBS '88 Drawn the day I sat in a coffee shop with drugs tied to my ankle.
The UK SUBS ’88
Drawn the day I sat in a coffee shop with drugs tied to my ankle.

THE DEAL
I sat against the wall in the back corner across from the restroom. Hardly anyone there. I ordered a club sandwich (that’s all I ever ordered in a place like this) and nursed a Coke while I drew pictures of punk things all day.
I had a whole head-trip goin’ on.
You know.
– Livin’ a punk lifestyle. Undercover. In this coffeshop. With my club sandwich.
Mark told me,  “Be sure to keep the strap of the bag wrapped around your ankle, and if you go to the bathroom take it with you” because that’s just what you should always do with your bag in the city. Good advice. I’ve been doing it ever since.

Drawn the day I sat in a coffee shop with drugs tied to my ankle.
Drawn the day I sat in a coffee shop with drugs tied to my ankle.

So, he would pop in from time to time to use their restroom, then sit down and pretend to talk to me for a minute. He’d put his hand on the table, out of view from anyone else, with his fingers showing me 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5.
I was to then go into my bag, put that many packets in a napkin and set it on the table in front of me, while he’d be sipping my goddamn Cokacola every-time!
Then he’d take the weed-napkin with him, and after awhile return with a cash-napkin, and however many more fingers. We did this all afternoon. From 11 in the morning to 7:00 at night. A full 8 hour day, back and forth, with lots of time to detail my drawings in between.

Normal Bob w/new field jacket & mohawk 1988 Hollywood
Normal Bob w/new field jacket & mohawk 1988 Hollywood

Credit where credit’s due, Mark’s plan worked perfectly. Before long my bag was stuffed with bills instead of weed. $600 worth of dirty, wrinkled, wadded up clumps of cash. The whole plan went without a hitch. Dinner was on me. That’s all the payment he required. He wanted me to hang around too.

This meant I was also going to get to see Iggy after all! So the next day I went out to the Army Surplus on Hollywood Blvd and bought a brand new field jacket! Then I called my folks who bought me a plane ticket so I could come home right after the Iggy Pop concert on the 9th. Just two more weeks in LA.

A few days after that I’m at the apartment and Mark calls. He tells me, “Bob. There’s a bag in the closet. I need you to put it in your jacket and bring it over to me at the 7/11. Don’t look in it. Just put it in your jacket and come to 7/11. Ok?”

Mark after haircut 1988 Hollywood w/Iggy poster & Bonko drawn on a paper bag.
Mark after haircut 1988 Hollywood w/Iggy poster & Bonko drawn on a paper bag.

The way he said it made it sound so simple. And I couldn’t deny what he just did for me. So I found the bag, didn’t look in it, put it in my coat pocket and walked out the front door. As I headed down the sidewalk these two men in suits were there, saw me and started walking towards me. Me with my leather coat and ripped jeans, and the bag. They came right up to me, showed me their badges and asked if I could let them in that building I’d just exited. I was like, “Yeah, sure.” And I walked them back to our building, unlocked the door with my key and let them in. As I turned to leave I saw them go upstairs, but we lived downstairs. When I got to 7/11 Mark came out all panicked, “Did you see two guys in suits out front of our building?”
After I told him what happened he sighed with relief and laughed, “I thought they looked like cops! That’s why I called you. To get this out of Erika’s apartment!”
Get this. The package I had in my jacket was weed.
A chill went up my spine when I realized how close this all came to disaster. And the cops I let in our building? No idea what happened with them either.

When Erika found out about all of this, Mark was out. That was the last I saw of him ever again.

Tiina & Erika 1988 Ed Debevic's on Bob's birthday
Tiina & Erika 1988 Ed Debevic’s on Bob’s birthday

SEND OFF
Erika, Tiina and I went on my birthday to see Roger Rabbit at the Cinerama Dome. I wrote a whole page in my diary about it being so much better than Beetlejuice and how much fun I had hanging out with them. Went to Ed Debevic’s for burgers and shakes and Tiina introduced me to The Sugarcubes “Birthday” declaring it my song that I have to listen to every 6/24. God, I loved Tiina too. Hanging with them both was the highlight of the trip.
Any time I had with Erika I was content. The only thing I really wanted was more, but it seemed impossible to hold on to her.

Tiina & Luey Hollywood '88
Tiina & Luey Hollywood ’88

I never got to that show. Luey could never track down Iggy’s son (if he knew him at all), and tickets sold out quick. He told us he’d left a message on the guy’s machine to put us all on the guest list. We even drove to Scream that night to see if our names were there, or if there was any other way of getting in. Didn’t work.
Best part though was afterwards we found out Mark got in to see that show. He just talked his way in there somehow.
The next day Erika, Tiina & Steve drove me to the airport.

Erika, Tiina & I at LAX send off 1988 Hollywood
Erika, Tiina & I at LAX send off 1988 Hollywood

Diary entry July 11, Monday 5:22AM 1988 – Tonight I leave LA. Good riddance! I’ll miss a lot of people, Erika of course, and Tiina and more, but then there are some who I won’t miss at all. I’ll be happy to get back. No one will be home and I’ll have some privacy at least. 🙂  I might move in with my brother after I get back and I get settled. I missed Iggy, but I’m telling everyone I saw him. It will save a lot of headaches. A lot has happened and I’ll never forget it. What an experience! And I made it through alive!

I told everybody I went to that show. I’ve maintained that lie until just now. I apologize. At the time it felt like such a failure on my part. I’ve gotten to see him since, so don’t feel bad for me. Sorry I lied.

Erika flexing for me 1988 Hollywood CA
Erika flexing for me 1988 Hollywood CA

When I was reading my diary for this I was stunned to figure out I’d been there for under a month. June 13 – July 11. It felt like months! I’d told so many people I was there for a couple months. And the more I told it, the longer I thought it must have been. Just over 3 weeks. Unbelievable.
This trip formed me. Patterns I’ve had my whole life were beginning then. Like running from one city to a bigger city. Patterns in my love life for sure.  And going to coffee shops to draw, and to write, and to do other stuff. My love for that started there. Hell, I wrote this whole goddamn story in a coffee shop.

I told her to give me attitude! LAX 1988 send off.
I told her to give me attitude! LAX 1988 send off.

Immediately upon returning my folks put me on a more responsible path. I was in an art school classroom the following Monday. I’d already missed a week and had to play catchup. And I swear to you all, I have never sold drugs since. That scared me enough to start another pattern I never broke. So I guess that’s the lesson I actually learned from all this. There’s your moral.

Don’t sell drugs.

Mark and Erika got married, had a baby boy, but Mark couldn’t stay out of jail. He started really going downhill after she filed for divorce in ’94. Last she heard he’s in prison, set to be released in 2032. Probably drugs, but Erika’s not sure and it’s really just too sad for her to think about.

Tiina, Steve and everyone else I met there just completely disappeared off my radar after that.

REUNION
I met up with Erika and her son during my 30th High School class reunion. Erika and I hadn’t seen each other in decades. We talked about everything. All that led up to Hollywood, and why her life fell into such chaos back then. This was also the first time I ever told her about the crush I had on her.

Erika 1988 Hollywood CA
Erika 1988 Hollywood CA

She explained, “I was lost. Every day seemed both exciting and dangerous. I was running away from a broken family where I felt unloved, “riding the ragged edge of disaster” in a dream-like state. I was safe with Mark, in those moments.
He was charismatic, carefree, fearless and a great storyteller. He made even the most mundane moment an adventure. Though cheerful and friendly by nature, he was stone serious when trouble started.

Bob was a calm oasis in the storm that was my life. A thread of the familiar from my childhood to adolescence. Creative, innocent, curious, and he was always there with a solid core of unwavering kindness. Together we were weird and silly, no pressure to be something other than ourselves.”

Ralphy & Normal Bob 2018
Ralphy & Normal Bob 2018

Their son Ralphy turned out to be a great kid. He’s gotten the best parts of both Erika & Mark. And during that reunion, after listening to her and me go over this whole adventure of ours over brunch, he was shocked to learn this was the first time we’d ever discussed any of it. 30 years later. Then he asked if it’d be okay if he called me Uncle Bob.

Bob & Erika 2018
Bob & Erika 2018

Bob & Erika 1988 birthday at Ed Debevic's Hollywood
Bob & Erika 1988 birthday at Ed Debevic’s Hollywood

My Hollywood Runaway Punkrock Adventure
Part 1 – Runaways
Part 2 – Mark & the Drunk Driver
Part 3 – Dealing in LA

Iggy ticket 1990
Iggy ticket 1990

Bands I lied and said I saw in Hollywood ’88 but actually didn’t:
• Iggy Pop
• Ramones (never saw)
• Exploited (never saw)
• Revolting Cocks (never saw)
Bands I really did see in Hollywood ’88:
• The Vandals (rocked)
• 45 Grave (rocked)