I owe my Google placement to Sunday Schoolteachers searching “Jesus.”

The results are in and it seems to no longer be theory. I owe my Google placement, which is my main source of advertisement, to the Sunday schoolteachers. Make me a cake, rent out the ballroom, and start throwing confetti, my ultimate plan has come full circle! Hate mail page 418 is written in stone.

I owe my Google placement to Sunday Schoolteachers searching “Jesus”

“…stumbling across your site. I found it while searching the web preparing a Sunday school lesson for the 8-13 yr. olds class I teach.”

Subject: Just stumbled onto your site

Dear Normal Bob,

Hey just wanted to drop you a note after stumbling across your site. I found it while searching the web preparing a Sunday school lesson for the 8-13 yr. olds class I teach. I just wanted to say I love Christ, who I believe was God’s son and died to show us how much He loves us His children. I’m not going lay into you or yell, rant and rave. I’m an average man who’s done my share of good and bad. The fact that God loves me is almost too unbelievably good to me. And I know He loves you too.

I have always felt that I don’t have to defend Jesus when I see something like your site, because He is just bigger than your mockery. You’ve obviously got a lot of creativity and talent, hopefully someday you will know His love for yourself and put it to a better use. If he can reach Saul and me, he can show you too. Usually something like your work comes out of a life hurt by the church or Christian’s themselves. That may be an oversimplification but if it’s true let me say that I’m sorry.

Love in Christ,

Chris Cucchiara


Hello Chris,

One of the biggest misconceptions Christians have about non Christians, or nonbelievers like me who voice their disbelief, is that we’ve been somehow hurt by the church or Christians themselves. This misconception is probably one of the most repelling assumptions because it immediately puts you in the superior position and the nonbeliever in the pitying position. It’s an awful way to open up any sort of dialog with a stranger, and quite simply an innapropriate way to approach the rest of the human race.

I’ve often thought the main reason Christians so openly stereotype nonbelievers as these lost, wounded strays is for the exact purpose of establishing the upper hand thus to avoid the very real reasons for disbelief; Reasons the Christian has trouble grappling with within himself. I’ve reached this conclusion through continual dialog with believers who one after another refuse to accept that there are extremely legitimate, sensible, healthy reasons for not believing in the gods you worship and their irrefutable commands.

Chris, you have a belief that drapes a trenchcoat of pity and love over a lust for the apocalypse & the Second Coming of your god. Your tenchcoat is colored in mercy, good deeds & valentine shaped teardrops, but it hides beneath it a paradise for yourself while everyone else burns infinately for the trivial act of disbelief. The trenchcoat you come to me in hides the very real belief in scapegoats and the insanity of blaming your wrongs on someone else, someone whom you’ve only met telepathically.

Nonbelievers have very logical and sane reasons for not believing in the madness you buy into so willingly. I think your belief is destructive, unhealthy and a threat to this beautiful thing we call life on planet earth. That is why I voice my disbelief so bluntly.

So now that we’ve cleared that up.

Hi! How are you? Want to help 8-13 year olds instead of hurt them?


“… I come out on the side of faith.”


Thanks for responding to me. You make a lot of strong points that make me see how self serving my note to you was. One of the things I’ve wanted most lately is to have some continued, open and non-vitriolic dialog with people who have strong views outside of my Christian tradition. I come from a place where I see that the church, Christians and I have spent a lot of time saying “Tisk-tisk” to those outside our camp. I want my love for Christ to mean more than that. I guess I rather smugly thought you might say “Hey this guy is fairly level headed for one of those Christians.” when I wrote you. Just to be up front there is a part of me that will always want anyone I come in contact with to believe that Christ is who he said he was and accept the relationship I believe he extends. That being said I just relish the idea of some honest talk.

Your website is like an open letter to the world that I stumbled onto. As with anything in the world of ideas that someone might have disagreement with, I could have chosen just to ignore it. I chose to respond to it as the possible opening of a dialog between us. Your shot over my bow you might say. As such I hope you understand what an affront Jesus BDSM gear would be to anyone who claims to love him. If just for the fact that you chose to make Jesus the subject of your dress up and not Ghandi, Ben Affleck or for that matter any other one of the billions of people ever to exist on this planet must say something. I took a stab at why and I was wrong. I do acknowledge there are many very serious reasons to doubt the existence of any god, let alone the one I believe in. I know because I do wrestle with many of the same issues myself, yet putting all things in the balance I come out on the side of faith.

You said some things in your response that pointed to me coming across as looking down on or pitying people outside my faith. Even without any gods or if there were no religions on earth I think we would all see ourselves as having flaws. I know my own better than I know anyone elses and any finger pointing I do is at myself. Yet I see that I still come off as wrapping myself in that self-righteous trenchcoat to you. It’s like we are both standing in front of the same painting and I have no idea why you see it the way you do. I want to understand.

If the thought of teasing out the thoughts of someone who claims this love God intrigues you like the chance to understand more of what makes you come to your conclusions does me, I would like the opportunity to continue to talk. However I understand if this is just not something you are interested in. Either way, thanks for hearing me out.


Chris Cucchiara


Well of course you side with faith. Faith allows you to believe whatever you want, whether it’s true or not, based solely on how good it makes you feel. It’s the essence of selfishness fed by self-induced ignorance. Ignore your logic, the evidence, even ignore what’s better for humanity, just as long as it soothes you inside. Your illusion of eternal paradise, guardian angels, scapegoats, and pretending to know things no one could possibly know are the prizes you’re challenged to forfeit. The “heroic” act of Faith is a far more attractive and easy option.

Have you ever considered why it is you don’t use this same Faith in any other part of your daily life? Are there other important decisions you regularly make that go against common logic and the evidence simply because your life would be easier if it were so? Not filling your car with gas would sure make life a lot easier. Does that work? Instead of interviewing a babysitter would you simply pick a stranger off the street to save time? Do you immediately send your bank account numbers to the Nigerian Son of the Ex President because he promised in an email to deposit five million dollars in it if you did?

I could use the exact same “Faith” to believe any one of the hundreds of bibles there are for each different religion, belief, or written account of history. Discard my critical thought and logical examination and any of it could seem real! Hell, why limit myself to pre-written texts? Why not simply believe whatever my head tells me is true, avoid any study or research on the subject and believe anything solely on Faith? That’s what the guys who flew planes into the Twin Towers did. They came out on the side of Faith as well. Do you respect them?

Obviously I’m more than happy to discuss this with you because it’s clearly a subject that interests me. Steering people clear of the madness of faith and its destructiveness is something I really enjoy doing. And of course as you’ve already guessed, it’s my way of avenging the Sunday schoolteacher who backed into my mailbox.



I did a search on Jesus just to see how many sites came up after a discussion in Sunday School this morning.


I did a search on Jesus just to see how many sites came up after a discussion in Sunday School this morning. I was appalled to see your site “Jesus Dress Up”. What you are offering is a mockery to the Jesus that died on the cross for your sins and mine. Please consider removing this from your sites. Other figures would be more appealing to Christians and the example you are setting for non-Christians is disgusting.

Most sincerely,

Helen Rose


Wow, you’re serious. You really don’t see anything wrong with your beliefs, huh? Like, you don’t see how scapegoats are a bad thing for people to think they’ve got? What’s the logic behind how you think it’s at all possible for someone else to pay for your wrongs? I’d be so curious to hear that explained.

And you’re serious about believing these stories about a guy rising from the dead and flying up into the sky like a balloon, and you’re not the least bit suspicious it’s make believe? I mean, you do know that Muslims think their Muhammad flew up to heaven on a flying donkey too, right? Do you believe that? Or how about Buddha levitating? You know, lots of the gods we’ve invented flew all around, some as far as outer space! Some even had wings on their backs! It’s really exciting.

I’m happy you stumbled across the site. I always enjoy hearing the beliefs people like you have. They’re so fantastic. They give me goosebumps!

Please email me back more stories.


It’s called FAITH!”

It’s called FAITH, my friend. Plus, my God’s name starts with a capital G. As I am writing this, I am praying for you.

Helen Rose


Faith is believing whatever you want despite the evidence, logic or commonsense. Correct? Is your complete lack of critical thinking supposed to impress me? Are you equally impressed with others who believe their religions based on the exact same Faith? How about your god, is he impressed with them too? Does the obviousness of their foolishness spark any inner turmoil within yourself at all? How about teaching this method of believing whatever you want to kids? Any moral dilemma there? Or has not thinking about these things pretty much become the normal way you go about things now?

I believe these are very interesting questions that most nonbelievers would like to know the answers to.

Pretend I’m one of your Sunday school students. I’m really dying to know these things from you.



12 thoughts on “I owe my Google placement to Sunday Schoolteachers searching “Jesus.””

  1. Okay, I’m going to try something here.

    I’m going to ask you to scientifically describe to me, how the very first particle of matter was created, how we got something out of nothing.

    You can’t do it. The Big Bang theory does not work.

    Ok, then you can throw back at me…well how can you prove God exists?

    And I will say, I can’t prove to you with science that he does. And you cannot prove to me with science that he does not. So, why do you insist on mocking me?

    Some people choose the high road. Some people choose the low road. Christians who choose the low road…are determined to make an ass out of ever Athiest out there…some succeed and some do not.

    Some Athiests decided to take the high road, and believe what they believe without mocking Christians. Some decide to take the low road and create websites mocking them.

    You see, depending on what road we take…gives a strong message about how intelligent we are. If you were as certain as you were about your beliefs as you claim to be, you wouldn’t feel the need to do what you do. You could go live your life and experience all it has to offer. Go to college dude. Do something fun. I’m sure there are better things out there than what you are doing.

    And if you could, and I’m not trying to be offensive, save the eyes of the people who do visit your website regularly, by getting more attractive girls. Honestly…..what are you thinking?

  2. You know, I was about to actually make a response to that until I got to the last paragraph.

  3. “And if you could, and I’m not trying to be offensive, save the eyes of the people who do visit your website regularly”

    Being OFFENSIVE makes you look
    like a little shit, Miss Einstein.

    “You see, depending on what road we take…gives a strong message about how intelligent we are.”

    You posted it not me.

    BTW- You started your post off with this:

    “Okay, I’m going to try something here.”

    Did you forget this when you got to the last paragraph?

  4. Hi Bob,

    I’ve followed your scribblings for about four years now (I check in almost on a daily basis) and I’m impressed with your progress. You seem to have the definitive answer to most hatemailers, most never reply to your first reply, some fruits have a second try and the odd fundi idiot think he can actually beat you in an rational discussion, but most give up pretty soon.
    Good for you Bob, keep up the good work!

    And Jenny, that’s it? That’s why you believe in your god? Because the Big Bang theory doesn’t work?

  5. “I’m going to ask you scientifically describe to me, how the first particle of matter was created, how we got something out of nothing.”

    ans. faith in jesus,

    All questions lead us back to jesus, jesus is the answer to all things!

    But you must have, FAITH!!!!!

    I consider Bob’s scribblings,(prose)to be simply brilliant and light-years ahead of the ancient mythology that’s being taught in our society as absolute truth, without one shred of evidence or proof.

    He’s way over the head of christians, they much prefer faith over what is reality, faith leaves the door open to any belief they may prefer to invent in their minds. That’s the reason they all meet on sunday, to confirm in their minds, that they each have the correct faith in their beliefs. Different faiths produce different beliefs and different denominations. For faiths and beliefs different than yours, they are the one’s destined for hell, but not you and your belief of course! End result = instant self-righteous christian!

  6. >>I’m going to ask you to scientifically describe to me, how the very first particle of matter was created, how we got something out of nothing.

    Fine. I’ll ask you how your god was created; how we got something out of nothing.

    … that’s an equivalent problem to solve, correct?

    >> You can’t do it. The Big Bang theory does not work.

    The Big Bang Theory works perfectly fine – it describes how the universe was infinitely hot an infinitely dense at one point in the past, then ‘banged’, and we have plenty of observable evidence to support that.

    If you’re asking any of us to describe where the initial ‘bang’ came from, we’re back to the first problem – one that none of us can solve, we have no evidence to discuss, and have very little chance of arguing for or against that nature any further. It’s a waste of time.

    Thankfully, we have evidence to show that we and the universe exists, so clearly the Big Bang happened. I have yet to hear why we have evidence for an ever-stateful deity that came before it.

    If you get to ‘spontaneously generate’ your god, I get to ‘spontaneously generate’ the universe in the same manner. Deal?

  7. GOOGLE – The Christians and Muslims most valuable number one source for prophetic Sunday School lessons, coloring pages, Jesus cut-outs, Jesus magnets, Jesus and Mohammad blasphemy, highly recommended for Teachers, Preachers, Prophets, Apostles, Disciples, Rabbis, Sages, Pastors, Popes, Imams, Prayer leaders, Youth pastors, Vickers, Bishops, Ministers, Fathers, Men and Women of the Cloth, Nuns, Evangelists, High Priests, Apologetics, Brethren, Deacons, Religious Sympathizers, Ministry Witnesses, Pontiffs, Cult Leaders, The Brainwashed, etc., etc.

  8. Congratulations, Bob! Glad you’re getting this amazing amount of website traffic, and all thanks to the diligent efforts of CHRISTIANS! Well, the Bible does tell them to love their enemies and do good to those who persecute them. For once, they’re actually doing something the Bible tells them to do!

    Hey, if Chris is really serious about wanting to talk to people outside his church, and having a dialog with non-believers, then he can click on my name to go to a site called Christian Biblical Errancy Debate. We can always use more victi…er, I mean, more fine, upstanding Christians like himself! I doubt that he will last long, though. As soon as Christians are confronted with facts about their holy book, they tuck their tails and scamper away, never to be heard from again.

    Jenny Hunter wrote: “I’m going to ask you to scientifically describe to me, how the very first particle of matter was created, how we got something out of nothing.”

    Fine, I’ll do that if you explain to me where God came from, and how HE created something out of nothing. “Let there be light!” >poof< There was light–but no sun or stars to create it, and no moon to reflect it! That is not what science–or common sense–tells us about how the universe works. Explain to me how science is wrong.

    John wrote: “And Jenny, that’s it? That’s why you believe in your god? Because the Big Bang theory doesn’t work?”

    Yeah, that doesn’t exactly make me want to renew my Jesus Club membership, no matter how many Sacred Decoder Rings they offer!

  9. Hey I have this really difficult scientific question that at the present time we do not have an answer for. Since we have not yet found an answer to this question, logically and obviously, there must be an invisible superhero with magic powers who lives in another dimension. There couldn’t possibly be a more rational or scientific explanation.

    Also good point Bob mentioned about “Jesus floating up like a balloon.” I’ve asked that question myself – after all, we know Heaven is not the sky(of course, we didn’t know that back when the story was written), we know there is space, and planets, and balls of burning gas, but not a magical cloud city. So where did he float to exactly? Did he float into space and then “warp” to the Heaven Dimension?

  10. God’s name is Yahweh. How on earth would Helen Rose spell that with a capital G?

    God is a title, not a name, morons.

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