Tag Archives: google jesus

I owe my Google placement to Sunday Schoolteachers searching “Jesus.”

The results are in and it seems to no longer be theory. I owe my Google placement, which is my main source of advertisement, to the Sunday schoolteachers. Make me a cake, rent out the ballroom, and start throwing confetti, my ultimate plan has come full circle! Hate mail page 418 is written in stone.

I owe my Google placement to Sunday Schoolteachers searching “Jesus”

“…stumbling across your site. I found it while searching the web preparing a Sunday school lesson for the 8-13 yr. olds class I teach.”

Subject: Just stumbled onto your site

Dear Normal Bob,

Hey just wanted to drop you a note after stumbling across your site. I found it while searching the web preparing a Sunday school lesson for the 8-13 yr. olds class I teach. I just wanted to say I love Christ, who I believe was God’s son and died to show us how much He loves us His children. I’m not going lay into you or yell, rant and rave. I’m an average man who’s done my share of good and bad. The fact that God loves me is almost too unbelievably good to me. And I know He loves you too.

I have always felt that I don’t have to defend Jesus when I see something like your site, because He is just bigger than your mockery. You’ve obviously got a lot of creativity and talent, hopefully someday you will know His love for yourself and put it to a better use. If he can reach Saul and me, he can show you too. Usually something like your work comes out of a life hurt by the church or Christian’s themselves. That may be an oversimplification but if it’s true let me say that I’m sorry.

Love in Christ,

Chris Cucchiara


Hello Chris,

One of the biggest misconceptions Christians have about non Christians, or nonbelievers like me who voice their disbelief, is that we’ve been somehow hurt by the church or Christians themselves. This misconception is probably one of the most repelling assumptions because it immediately puts you in the superior position and the nonbeliever in the pitying position. It’s an awful way to open up any sort of dialog with a stranger, and quite simply an innapropriate way to approach the rest of the human race.

I’ve often thought the main reason Christians so openly stereotype nonbelievers as these lost, wounded strays is for the exact purpose of establishing the upper hand thus to avoid the very real reasons for disbelief; Reasons the Christian has trouble grappling with within himself. I’ve reached this conclusion through continual dialog with believers who one after another refuse to accept that there are extremely legitimate, sensible, healthy reasons for not believing in the gods you worship and their irrefutable commands.

Chris, you have a belief that drapes a trenchcoat of pity and love over a lust for the apocalypse & the Second Coming of your god. Your tenchcoat is colored in mercy, good deeds & valentine shaped teardrops, but it hides beneath it a paradise for yourself while everyone else burns infinately for the trivial act of disbelief. The trenchcoat you come to me in hides the very real belief in scapegoats and the insanity of blaming your wrongs on someone else, someone whom you’ve only met telepathically.

Nonbelievers have very logical and sane reasons for not believing in the madness you buy into so willingly. I think your belief is destructive, unhealthy and a threat to this beautiful thing we call life on planet earth. That is why I voice my disbelief so bluntly.

So now that we’ve cleared that up.

Hi! How are you? Want to help 8-13 year olds instead of hurt them?


“… I come out on the side of faith.”


Thanks for responding to me. You make a lot of strong points that make me see how self serving my note to you was. One of the things I’ve wanted most lately is to have some continued, open and non-vitriolic dialog with people who have strong views outside of my Christian tradition. I come from a place where I see that the church, Christians and I have spent a lot of time saying “Tisk-tisk” to those outside our camp. I want my love for Christ to mean more than that. I guess I rather smugly thought you might say “Hey this guy is fairly level headed for one of those Christians.” when I wrote you. Just to be up front there is a part of me that will always want anyone I come in contact with to believe that Christ is who he said he was and accept the relationship I believe he extends. That being said I just relish the idea of some honest talk.

Your website is like an open letter to the world that I stumbled onto. As with anything in the world of ideas that someone might have disagreement with, I could have chosen just to ignore it. I chose to respond to it as the possible opening of a dialog between us. Your shot over my bow you might say. As such I hope you understand what an affront Jesus BDSM gear would be to anyone who claims to love him. If just for the fact that you chose to make Jesus the subject of your dress up and not Ghandi, Ben Affleck or for that matter any other one of the billions of people ever to exist on this planet must say something. I took a stab at why and I was wrong. I do acknowledge there are many very serious reasons to doubt the existence of any god, let alone the one I believe in. I know because I do wrestle with many of the same issues myself, yet putting all things in the balance I come out on the side of faith.

You said some things in your response that pointed to me coming across as looking down on or pitying people outside my faith. Even without any gods or if there were no religions on earth I think we would all see ourselves as having flaws. I know my own better than I know anyone elses and any finger pointing I do is at myself. Yet I see that I still come off as wrapping myself in that self-righteous trenchcoat to you. It’s like we are both standing in front of the same painting and I have no idea why you see it the way you do. I want to understand.

If the thought of teasing out the thoughts of someone who claims this love God intrigues you like the chance to understand more of what makes you come to your conclusions does me, I would like the opportunity to continue to talk. However I understand if this is just not something you are interested in. Either way, thanks for hearing me out.


Chris Cucchiara


Well of course you side with faith. Faith allows you to believe whatever you want, whether it’s true or not, based solely on how good it makes you feel. It’s the essence of selfishness fed by self-induced ignorance. Ignore your logic, the evidence, even ignore what’s better for humanity, just as long as it soothes you inside. Your illusion of eternal paradise, guardian angels, scapegoats, and pretending to know things no one could possibly know are the prizes you’re challenged to forfeit. The “heroic” act of Faith is a far more attractive and easy option.

Have you ever considered why it is you don’t use this same Faith in any other part of your daily life? Are there other important decisions you regularly make that go against common logic and the evidence simply because your life would be easier if it were so? Not filling your car with gas would sure make life a lot easier. Does that work? Instead of interviewing a babysitter would you simply pick a stranger off the street to save time? Do you immediately send your bank account numbers to the Nigerian Son of the Ex President because he promised in an email to deposit five million dollars in it if you did?

I could use the exact same “Faith” to believe any one of the hundreds of bibles there are for each different religion, belief, or written account of history. Discard my critical thought and logical examination and any of it could seem real! Hell, why limit myself to pre-written texts? Why not simply believe whatever my head tells me is true, avoid any study or research on the subject and believe anything solely on Faith? That’s what the guys who flew planes into the Twin Towers did. They came out on the side of Faith as well. Do you respect them?

Obviously I’m more than happy to discuss this with you because it’s clearly a subject that interests me. Steering people clear of the madness of faith and its destructiveness is something I really enjoy doing. And of course as you’ve already guessed, it’s my way of avenging the Sunday schoolteacher who backed into my mailbox.



I did a search on Jesus just to see how many sites came up after a discussion in Sunday School this morning.


I did a search on Jesus just to see how many sites came up after a discussion in Sunday School this morning. I was appalled to see your site “Jesus Dress Up”. What you are offering is a mockery to the Jesus that died on the cross for your sins and mine. Please consider removing this from your sites. Other figures would be more appealing to Christians and the example you are setting for non-Christians is disgusting.

Most sincerely,

Helen Rose


Wow, you’re serious. You really don’t see anything wrong with your beliefs, huh? Like, you don’t see how scapegoats are a bad thing for people to think they’ve got? What’s the logic behind how you think it’s at all possible for someone else to pay for your wrongs? I’d be so curious to hear that explained.

And you’re serious about believing these stories about a guy rising from the dead and flying up into the sky like a balloon, and you’re not the least bit suspicious it’s make believe? I mean, you do know that Muslims think their Muhammad flew up to heaven on a flying donkey too, right? Do you believe that? Or how about Buddha levitating? You know, lots of the gods we’ve invented flew all around, some as far as outer space! Some even had wings on their backs! It’s really exciting.

I’m happy you stumbled across the site. I always enjoy hearing the beliefs people like you have. They’re so fantastic. They give me goosebumps!

Please email me back more stories.


It’s called FAITH!”

It’s called FAITH, my friend. Plus, my God’s name starts with a capital G. As I am writing this, I am praying for you.

Helen Rose


Faith is believing whatever you want despite the evidence, logic or commonsense. Correct? Is your complete lack of critical thinking supposed to impress me? Are you equally impressed with others who believe their religions based on the exact same Faith? How about your god, is he impressed with them too? Does the obviousness of their foolishness spark any inner turmoil within yourself at all? How about teaching this method of believing whatever you want to kids? Any moral dilemma there? Or has not thinking about these things pretty much become the normal way you go about things now?

I believe these are very interesting questions that most nonbelievers would like to know the answers to.

Pretend I’m one of your Sunday school students. I’m really dying to know these things from you.