Crazy Christians!

More unique and bizzare hate mail from delightfully crazy Christians.

“ you are going to be struck!”

Subject: Hey Man

Hey Man you are going to be struck! you should pray for forgiveness.

1800INEEDJESUS

Thanks Bob

Philip Gatlin

Struck by LOVVVE!

I can’t wait.

Bob

what makes you think hell is cool?

Whats you belief man? what makes you think hell is cool?

Philip Gatlin

Hahaha, you believe in hell!

Do you believe every ghost story you’re told too?

Jesus Christ, people are so gullible. We’ve hardly evolved at all, huh?

Bob

“…evolution??”

So you believe in evolution??

Philip Gatlin

Do you believe you’ve inherited traits from your parents?

Bob

“Yes i do?”

Yes i do? whats that mean?

Philip Gatlin

Then you believe in evolution too, just at a smaller scale.

Bob

“i came from GOD!”

Nope i dont come from monkeys. i came from GOD!

Philip Gatlin

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

You’re smart!

Bob

Are you an accident…?

Why thank you. I want to know what you really believe? Are you an accident or just something random that happen?

Philip Gatlin

Was your God an accident, or something random that just happened?

Bob

Niether

Niether He was always there! So?

Philip Gatlin

Oh Jesus. Okay, so you believe he was always there. Then you’ll believe anything.

You rest your own case.

Bob

there is more proof to the bible then anything! did you know that?

yet wrong there is more proof to the bible then anything! did you know that?

Philip Gatlin

There’s more proof to the bible than anything? Okay, you’re 15, aren’t you.

You do realize there are other things that have more proof behind them than the bible, right?

I’m gauging to see just how blank you really are.

Bob

I’m 19. im a science major

No I’m 19. Age dosent matter in this conversation anyways what do you think has more proof than the bible, you think Darwins book of evolution does? Do think that has proof to back it up science has no proof to it and you could see it in a simple college chem class im a science major and you can see the flaws in science one variable can change the whole outcome of a problem its easy to see. But really what do you think has more proof then the Bible, It has more books and evidence to back it up than any history story written. Even the own history of our county!

Philip Gatlin

lilgat1991@comcast.net

Well, of course your age matters. I mean, there’s a reason why our Universities don’t have 19 year old professors, or you can’t be 7 and get a driver’s license, or why there’s an age minimum for the presidency. Saying there’s no matter for age in a conversation such as this would mean if you were 8 years old it wouldn’t make any difference, because what you believe doesn’t require any intelligence or life wisdom, or even a 5th grade education! And regretfully this statement hurts your argument more than it helps.

Phillip, have you ever been to a Natural History Museum? One in your city, or abroad? You should go if you have not because there they have all sorts of evidence to prove Darwin’s theories. There are fossils, charts and graphs, logical explanations, and at the one here in NYC there’s even hands-on experiments you can partake in! There are films where you can watch a cell divide again and again and again completely on its own (without mating or consuming other life). There are time-lines and fossils to prove how and when they existed, and diagrams for every step of their evolution.

There’s also a section of the museum where you can look at dinosaurs and their bones and see exactly how they fit into our planet’s history, and how we are but a blip on the screen compared to all that’s happened prior.

You can also see how tiny we actually are compared to our universe and the many other galaxies and planets that’ve been spinning about for billions and billions of years without even the slightest regard to whether or not we gave them any notice.

And this is just the Museum of Natural History! The process of evolution is so proved and factual it’s actually used to grow food that tastes good, animals that make better rib roasts, and medicines to fight deadly diseases or even breed a racehorse to win the Kentucky Derby! Evolution is so real it’s a method implemented into the science of our daily lives, and we hardly even notice because we’ve got it so good.

On the contrary, there is no proof that Mary was a virgin when Jesus was born. You can’t prove that, even if it happened today with doctors present at the birth and everything! You can’t prove Jesus walked on water, turned water to wine, rose from the dead or flew up into the sky afterwords. You can read stories about it, but there’s also similar stories about many such gods we’ve invented, like Hercules, Thor the God of Thunder, Medusa’s head of snakes, Buddha speaking words as an infant, and the Prophet Muhammad flying into the sky on a donkey. Because the words are written down about these characters does not substantiate their claims whatsoever. People make up all sorts of stories and write them down. It’s our job as adults to cross off the ones that sound made up, and underline those which sound plausible. And reading your bible, it’s clear to any thinking person, much of it should be crossed out.

Philip, simply because one variable can change the outcome of a science project, that does not indicate in the least that science proves nothing. Quite the contrary. To indicate that science proves nothing there’d have to be NO change in the variables and a different outcome each time. Then you’d have a leg to stand on.

You’ve got much to learn as a science major, and your age is absolutely to blame for your ignorance. But that’s okay! You’re learning, and questioning as any good scientist should. Keep it up, and email me when you realize science proves there’s no need for God in the first place. It’ll blow your mind!

Bob

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2 thoughts on “Crazy Christians!”

  1. No! No! No!…Bob,

    Satan himself planted all those dinosaur bones to deceive sinners in order for us not to believe in god.

    God wrote this in the bible…”But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.”

    God created Satan so as to deceive us into believing in him…so his only choice was to send his only begotten son down here to earth to die for our sins, because if he hadn’t done that, no one would ever believe in him.

    FlAsh…..BlaaM…..CraCkle…holy fucking mother of god…I just got struck by lightning!!! OH SHIT…Philip was right, the bible is all true, everything else is a total lie, especially things proven by science!

  2. Oh Bob…

    Some of your finest work yet. This poor deluded sap, wasting his life, waiting for Sky Daddy to come pluck him from his Earthbound sin. You gotta be shittin’ me.

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