Category Archives: Jesus Dressup

Amazing Strangers, Anthropology, Art, Blog, Freelance, Jesus Dressup, Magnets, Union Square

Calmly Begging for Rescue

Hire Me

Normal Bob sits above No Your City sticker
Normal Bob sits above No Your City Normal Bob place-holder

Yesterday I had an experience with a client that sent a chill down my spine. The client, who’s hired & paid me good money for an art  job told me, “I’ve got other jobs I’d love to have you working on, but you look so busy, I assume you don’t have the time for more stuff.”

In that brief instant, during a time when I’m scrambling around for money to pay bills, I imagined dozens of other potential clients saying to themselves, “Dammit! I’ve got jobs for this guy but he looks too busy to do them. I’ll go look for someone else I suppose.” Then flash forward 6 months to an image of me packing a U-Haul with what’s left of my possessions which have been put on the street by my landlord, on my way to a new life in Idaho to make some lame map of a park there that no one will ever care about.

Let me please be as clear as I know how to be. I need work. I have time for work. I LOVE to work! I also love to be all caught up on bills make-believing I can afford to still live in this city on a starving artist’s income. Please, for the love of God, if you’re out there needing art, or any other elements of my creativity, and you’re happy to pay, contact me! Prolong my stay in this expensive city! And thank you very much.

If you don’t have a job for me, but you’d still like to see me continue what I’m doing here, visit my store. That helps pay my bills as well.

I’m happy to say that after expressing these same thoughts to the aforementioned client he immediately sighed with relief and began a list of more jobs for me.

Jesus Dressup

This has been the toughest year for the magnets yet. The stores who’ve got them on their shelves have no problem selling them, but far too often I’ve been losing them because of customer complaints. It’s an ongoing problem I’ve always had to deal with (others frowning upon me profiting off the crucifixion), but I’m shocked at how many store managers as of late just don’t even want to chance it.

I’ve been dying to produce the new Batman Jesus Dressup I’ve got it designed and ready to go, but as I mentioned in the previous entry, I just can’t seem to accumulate the necessary funds to get that ball rolling. I’ve gotten a few stores recently who are very excited about Jesus Dressup in general, and it’s because of you people that I was able to find those stores and send them samples. So if there’s a store in your neighborhood you think might be interested in my magnets, please don’t hesitate to pass their name onto me. That simple act can make a world of difference.

Union Square

Amazing Strangers Wendell icon

Things are just getting underway at the Square, and I’ve got the camera rolling. Everyone’s been asking about that hat thief kid, whether or not he’s behaving himself since then, if he’s crazy or on drugs, and anything else I might know about him. All I can say is he’s been at the park several times since and has been pretty subdued. No other excitement from him yet, and from the looks of it he appears to have learned his lesson.

I’ve avoided tracking him down and grilling him for answers simply because if he wants his space I’m happy to give it to him. Also, I always have the lingering fear in the back of my head that when we finally do talk he’s going to ask for the video to be taken down. Yes, that’s what I have to deal with regularly in this unconventional hobby.

And then today, Apr 21, 2015 he approached me having just seen the video for the first time, twenty days later. His reasons and explanations may not be what you expect.

I got word that Chewy (Tarzan) got caught trying to sell dope to an undercover, and because he’s got priors he’s been put away for more than a few years. Matty Ice has been MIA since the last video. And there’s no sign yet of Lotion Man either.

I could go down the list of everybody who’s made an appearance thus far, but it’s easier just to show off the photos I’ve been taking.


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Art, Blog, Freelance, Inna, Jesus Dressup, Portfolio

Artbucks Coffee

Inna art
Portrait of Inna digitized in Adobe Illustrator

My ex messaged me last month saying, “I keep waiting for your annual ‘winter sucks and I’m lonely in this cruel city’ message, but none has come. Are you happier this year? I hope so.“
Well, I’m now officially in winter’s pattern. Wake up – Coffee – Starbucks – More coffee – Art – Go home – Finish art project – Sleep.

That’s it kids. That’s my life come winter. I mean, I know that’s not 100% the case, but Jesus Christ, it’s a difficult pattern for me to shake. Good news is though, I’ve been producing what I consider to be some of my best pieces. I’m proud of these portraits that’ve been coming out of me. Yesterday I finished this Inna Portrait (above), and I swear I went to sleep gazing at it (A selfishness I’ve allowed myself since I was a teen), and imagining myself waking up to 10,000+ Likes, an Inbox filled with emails congratulating on what a spectacular job I’ve done, and knocking on my door demanding sex. None of that happened of course, but it doesn’t slow down the desperate need I’ve got to draw. So instead I just send those emails to myself, and pound on my own door. There it is, as the ex requested.

Shaggy looked at me sketching Inna last week and said “What’s your obsession with Inna? How many times have you drawn her?” And I realize that posting this one the day before Valentine’s Day may seem like love, but it’s not. I mean, I do love Inna like a friend, but I am not harboring a deep seeded crush on the girl. I do think she’s an ideal subject. Her style is something that deserves to be drawn again and again. So Shaggy, including the little cartoons of her I’ve put on the Matchgame Postcard, the answer to that question is now officially 5.

Soo Catwoman art
Soo Catwoman digitized in Adobe Illustrator

I know I keep repeating myself with subjects. Inna for instance. Yolandi, of course. Also, Soo Catwoman. But for whatever reason I just have to draw these people again and again. Their aesthetics just please me so. And if Im sitting and drawing, I’m doing something good. In fact, I’m at my best. And that’s reason enough.

All of this too I hope will encourage inquiries about hiring my artistic talents. Yes, I am available for work. Now more than ever. After the holidays things slow down, and they usually don’t pick up again until Spring. So if you know of any jobs that pay for this level of drawing & Adobe Illustrator skills, please contact me. I’m really good! And worth every penny.

anglerfish art
Anglerfish digitized in Adobe Illustrator

Presently though I’m working through the disappointment looming on the horizon of not being able to afford printing Batman Jesus Dressup magnets. I thought I’d have enough after the holidays, but the holidays are over, and I’m coming up short. I’m hoping these next couple months I can get the necessary work and sales to solve it, but at the moment they must be put on hold. Do stories like this encourage sales & paying gigs to appear in my mailbox? I suppose this is exactly how I’ll find that out.

Latest art & photos with videos attached –

BDSM Jesus, Star Wars Jesus

Goodbye Summer, Hello Holidays

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

I just received word that the cargo ship carrying my BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets has completed its journey across the Pacific Ocean, docked safely at the coast in City Of Industry, California, and its contents are now being loaded onto a truck to begin the long track across these United States to New Jersey, and then NYC. That means they will be here by Monday or Tuesday, so this is your last opportunity to purchase aforementioned magnets at the preorder, discount price of just $9. On the day that that truck arrives at my front step honking its horn, and I am lugging those 20 pound boxes up my staircase, that’s the same day put them back at their normal price of $15 each. There’s already been a few handfuls of these preorders made whose envelopes are postmarked and ready to fly out the door, so consider yourself fairly warned. Now’s the time to buy if BDSM Jesus has been on your or your dom’s wish list. I’m really looking forward to a thriving holiday season with these li’l demons back in stock.

Also, I have about 60 sets of the Star Wars Jesus Dressups left (just under two boxes – 40 per box). The same goes for the Jesus Christ Superstar sets (3 boxes) and the Original Jesus Dressups (2 boxes). Once these run out, that’s it. Especially the latter two, I have no plans in the near or distant future of producing again. There’s too many other versions I want to spend my time and money making, like Batman Jesus! 2015, I hope.

Purple haired Sketchgirl Nat
Sketchgirl Nat looking alien in her new goggles and purple hair

It’s October, and another unique year at the square is coming to a close. There’s been no shortage of Amazing Stranger drama there this year. So much so that I’ve had to take several weeks off just to regroup before throwing myself back into it! But now that I’ve got my head back together again, I’m wishing there were maybe a couple more months of that mayhem left before winter sets in. I’ve been pacifying myself by going through hundreds, probably thousands, of photos I’ve taken over the last decade and uploading my favorites to Reddit with dates & details. Most of these images have never before been published, so if you’re into the Union Square/NYC experience, these images will most likely fill that empty spot Humans Of New York can not. Which is also my point.

I’m sick of being an obscure reference. I have confidence enough in the content I’m churning out to have it seen by more than just a couple thousand views on Youtube! Some people are telling me I need to monotize my account (which I believe includes opening them up to bothersom ads), which in turn gets them into the YouTube promotion rotation. Others are demanding I get on Instagram (but I still only have a flip-phone) or the dozen other places there are for me to post my junk. I am happy to say though that the folks over at No Your City have made it clear they’re there for me. And more than a few different Amazing Strangers projects have been discussed, including the Union Square documentary of Union Square.

What else, what else? The production of a Jesus Dressup app is presently a mystery to me. I will let you know when I find out more.
I’m completely available for art projects. For Christ’s sake, hit me up!

 

Bob Smith USA, Magnets

Where I’ve Been

Since I seem to not be able to give you folks updates on any other section of the site, I’ll give it here.

First of all, I’m relieved to announce that the order for BDSM Jesus Dressup has been placed, and it’s expected to be here by October. I cut it so close raising the funds for these, but the BDSM Jesus has been the fastest selling version for me so far, and it’s the one the stores have been nagging me to get as soon as possible! My hope is that I can get over this Mohammed Dressup magnets mistake (I should have gotten the BDSM JDU ones done last year instead), then after the holidays, which I hope go well, invest in the Batman version next. Then, perhaps by next summer I’ll be able to get more of the Star Wars made (because those will be gone by Christmas), and get everything back to where I was a year ago. It’s been a struggle getting caught up since being forced to move in January. That took such a serious bite out of my budget, my energy, and inspiration. I’m really hoping to turn things around this Christmas.

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

The new BDSM version has been tweaked and slightly updated. I redrew Jesus’ submissive nurse outfit, and replaced his pig mask with a sheep’s because of the whole “Lamb Of God” thing. Short of that however, everyone who I asked seemed to think it couldn’t be improved upon. So if it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda. Have a look at the sample sets that arrived as of 8/13/14! (Product is in stock as of 10/10/14!)

I’m not fond of selling sets in advance, but in an effort to catch up from previously mentioned setbacks I’ve decided to offer a discounted price for anyone willing to wait for shipment until October (possibly November). When they do arrive they’ll be priced at 15 bucks a pop. But if you know you want it, and you’re willing to wait, you can get them now for just $9 (no quantity limit) plus shipping. I wouldn’t even post this offer if I didn’t get so many emails asking where, when, and how to get them. Now I have an answer.

Amazing Strangers has been lagging, I’m aware. We’re all well aware. We had such a strong spring, and now it’s come to this! I’m not even sure if I ever announced the latest page update. Last month there were two separate, very real threats of violence if certain videos didn’t get removed, and in addition to that, almost every single day for the last month and a half it’s been Volleyball.

Volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. It dominates pretty much everything else at the south end of Union Square. Ask anyone there and they’ll agree. Volleyball eclipses all that’s happening at the park. It’s altered the mojo. Add to that Roman moving away, Wendell & Signs rarely showing, there’s little I can do but sit and wait for something to happen. If the section of my site were called “Amazing Volleyball!” you’d be getting lots and lots of updates! But it’s not. And to me there’s very little that’s amazing about these strangers.

Remember Bob Smith USA? The movie by Neil Abramson about me and 6 other Bob Smiths? Well, earlier this month Neil granted me permission to post the full movie on my YouTube channel. I’m very excited for everyone to be able to see it now. I’m still very proud to’ve been part of that project, and to get that part of my life and the site documented for future generations. I strongly recommend it, and sharing it with your friends.

As for me and my personal life, I just turned 45. I think my vision is finally beginning to fail me. I’ve been single for far FAR too long, and everyone tells me it’s because I’m not on any dating sites. Is that true? Is that the only way now? Is that why everyone’s staring at their phones when they’re crossing the street? Did I lose touch because of my flip phone?
I’m beginning to think that guy who told me to “stop looking and it’ll come to me” gave me shit advice. Time to start peepin’!