For a long while I’ve had an idea for a Halloween decoration to sit atop my fireplace mantle for the month of October. In the same way people display Mary, Joseph & Baby Jesus in a manger for Christmas, I wanted to make a somber zombie uprising at the graveyard for Halloween.
Unfortunately my religious mother did not love Halloween as much as I. “Why do people want to celebrate evil, death and ugliness??” she’d exclaim. Reasons could be given but her stance was unwavering, and my idea remained only an idea. But now the mantle is mine, and over this last month of September I began work on my Zombie Uprising Halloween Display – “A Nativity Scene for Halloween.”
My concept was to design several different zombies, have them printed on foam core, individually cut them out out, and propped by little wooden stands. Behind them a black background of gravestones, creepy trees and boarded up houses cut from matte board. The background backlit by a string of red lights to create an ominous horizon. In front, zombies lit by a string of orange, green & purple Halloween lights. I could picture it clearly.
Drawing the zombies came easy. The first one, Sawhead (above), came to me while I was driving to the coffee shop. A couple hours later he was complete, along with the background concept, and their style was established. After that inventing and drawing zombies and other spooky Halloween ideas came easy. The pencil sketches were inked in, later to be filled with Autumny colors in Photoshop.
Miniature background concept w/knife
My first issues came with my attempt to cut the matte board with an xacto knife. Almost impossible! Especially for the size I had in mind. There was no way I was going to be able to carve the details I expected with an ordinary xacto knife. For a moment I found myself doubting whether or not I could make this happen at all. But after looking online I discovered they’re making xacto knives that vibrate now! NeoBlade’s the one I bought, and it’s amazing. It cuts through the matte like butter! With it I made a miniature version of what I imagined. One piece of board cut and folded so it can be displayed and stored easily. My vision was coming to fruition.
Full size background cut, not folded
Cutting out the giant piece of black board was actually fun! This NeoBlade, at first, I found kinda terrifying. It vibrates at 40,000 times per second (so says their website), which obviously can’t be seen with the naked eye. It only makes a quiet high pitched hum when it’s on. DO NOT TOUCH BLADE! the warning strewn across the instructions. But once I got comfortable with it, I found myself looking for excuses to cut more and expand my idea.
Each zombie, after having them printed and mounted on foam core, was designed so I wouldn’t have to cut around each claw, fang and nose hair. Each had its own unique shape, with simple straight lines, and a black background I hoped, when lit properly, would blend seamlessly into the background I’d prepared. The NeoBlade cuts through foam core with ease. And for each of them I made little wooden stands, painted black, so they could stand on their own.
I got little plastic stick-on hooks that attached to the back of the black background for the red light horizon I imagined. I also cutout grave stones in a separate piece of matte to sit in front to hide the lights illuminating the zombies.
It was October 1st I finally got the entire thing set up. After adjusting the lights and the zombies, my creation was complete. The Zombie Uprising is now haunting my fireplace mantle for this and many more Halloweens to come. I wonder what mom would’ve thought of it?
When I came over from NYC it was to take care of my folks until their passing. My father passed 2 years ago, July 27th, and my mother 2 weeks ago, July 30th. It’s all come to fruition, and now it’s just me, here in this house out in the woods, in the middle of nowhere, with a little schnauzer dog. It’s another change of life I’m facing, and I’ve had a couple panic attacks since. But I’m fine. This last decade here I’ve had to do a lot of adjusting, and finding my way around this mostly conservative Christian Trump-loving hood.
Beginning the routine of drawing every day has been my relief. Below are some of my favorites I’ve done over the last couple months. Mostly just pen and ink, but also some toying with colored pencil.
I like to go to a coffeeshop and read, write and draw as much as I can each day. It’s a luxury I appreciate, having the time and freedom to do this while caring for my 91 year old mother back at home. A few months ago I was drawing at the barista counter, and I can literally smell someone looking over my shoulder. It’s a flowery perfume, and it’s strong. Sure enough it’s a wide-eyed girl, and she’s pointing at my drawing. “That looks like a print!” “Thank you!” I slide my book over so she can see better. She repeats, “It looks like a print!” She’s astonished, and I’m flattered. “Did you draw that?” “Yes. I drew these too!” Turning the pages back. “Know who John Prine is? haha!” “Haha, who? No.” “No one’s heard of him. How about David Lynch?” showing her the drawing. She looked blank. “No.” “That’s alright. He’s kinda obscure. How about Bill Murray?” “No.” I’m shocked. I thought everyone knew who Bill Murray was. A few of the baristas were listening, amused. “Christ, I’m old. How old are you?” “22.” I start paging further back in my book. “Amy Winehouse? Aubrey Plaza? She was in the TV show Parks and Recreation.” “No, no” shaking her head “I never heard of that show.” “Kurt Cobain? He was in a rock band Nirvana.” “No. Never heard of them.” “Do you know who Joe Biden is?” “I know who Joe Biden is.” Rolling her eyes. “Oh, how about David Bowie. Everyone knows David Bowie.” “Oh! He was in Labyrinth!” “Yes! That’s David Bowie” as I’m showing the drawing on my phone. “He was also the singer in a rock band.” “Oh was he?” She didn’t know that about David Bowie. I’m about done. I knew of no-one more famous than Bowie whom I’ve drawn. In fact I had to sit for a while to think of anyone famous she’d for sure know. “Taylor Swift.” “I know her! Did you draw her?” “No.” I was done. “So what’s your name?” She tells me but it’s in one ear and right out the other. I’m still stewing over it all, trying to end the pain. “Well I’m Bob. I’m 56. It’s nice to meet you.” “Nice to meet you too.” “If you wanna see more people you don’t know that I’ve drawn” I give her my card. “Come back any time.” “Oh I will!” I pull my book back to the page I’m working on, and everyone around is greatly entertained. I bemoan my relevance in this world and have a profound reality check. And then…
John Prine
Bill Murray
David Lynch
David Bowie
Biden
Aubrey Plaza
Kurt Cobain
Amy Winehouse
A couple weeks later I’m here at the same spot, drawing, and there’s that smell again, in the same spot over my shoulder. Fragrance memory brings it all back instantly. That I’m-no-longer-relevant feeling. “Oh hi! I remember you. I forgot your name.” She tells me again. “I forgot yours too. Is it, Greg?” “No. Bob. Normal Bob.” Then she points and says “That’s my dad!” I look to my left and there’s a man’s face about a foot away from mine. He’s leaning forward on the counter looking me dead in the eye. “I’m her father. That’s my daughter.” He has an intense glare, face red with forehead veins bulging. Short, neatly cut grey hair like a Marine, or Christian youth leader. And he looked exactly my age, except exceptionally more conservative. “I’m Bob. Normal Bob.” I turn the pages back a few and show him my Acid Trip Couch drawing. “That’s what he was working on when I was here last!” I lean back so they can see. I’m sandwiched between them both. He looks for a long moment, taps his finger on it and says, “Looks like R. Crumb.” “I know who R. Crumb is!” I proclaim as he walks away.
He goes and sits at the other side of the cafe and looks down at whatever he’s got there. She’s looking at me grinning from ear to ear delighted that her dad and I got to finally meet. “It was nice to see you again. I’m going to get back to drawing now.” “Nice to meet you too!” And she goes over to her dad. As she’s walking away I’m noticing for the first time how she’s dressed. She’d been behind me every time. She’s wearing a black mini skirt, heels and a tight top. She’s got tattoos up and down her legs, rockabilly style. Small ones scattered about. And as she walking to her dad he’s there in a chair looking like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown.
It was the spring of 2010, and I was in my usual location, Union Square NYC. But right now I wasn’t ready to sit down on the steps. First I had to stop in at Forbidden Planet, which was just a block south on Broadway. It was a place I frequented not only because it’s a cool comic book store right in the neighborhood, but also it’s where I sold my Jesus magnets. On this particular day in the front part of the store was a kiosk set up to promote New York ComicCon! I was briefly stopped by the man at the booth, “Hello! Have you got your tickets for ComicCon yet?”
ComicCon was something I’d never really considered at this point, and at the moment I was here for other purposes. As usual, I strolled around the store to find the magnets and how many sold. But they weren’t in their usual spot, or anywhere for that matter. So I go to the front counter and see my guy Matt who manages there. “I think you’re sold out of my magnets? I don’t see them anywhere.”
Matt checks the computer and tells me there’s still some here, somewhere. So together we start the search. The guy from ComicCon overhears our struggle, and gets interested in whatever this is that someone would go through the trouble to hide. A few minutes pass and Matt shouts “Found ‘em!” picking a pile of them off the ground where they’d been tucked behind a display. “It happened again!” He was referring to the other time an offended customer hid my offensive product within the store. To inhibit sales I suppose. The guy from ComicCon was asking to see what the hell this product was. His name was Mark, and when he saw the Jesus Dressups he laughed, “We’ve got to have these at ComicCon!”
I explained how that was pretty much out of the question. Booths were well out of my price range. “I’m just one guy, and this is pretty much my only product.” Not enough to cover $2,400+ for the smallest, cheapest booth. And this year was actually going to be a far bigger event than just ComicCon. They were combining the Anime Festival and the BookExpo, all 3 in one huge event at the Javits Center. It was just out of the question. “I cannot sell $3,000 worth of these in 4 days.” I told him.
As he held it in his hand he said, “I really want you to consider it. I can get you half off on that booth, $1200. These are just too funny.” And he gave me his card. I went back to Union with that card in my pocket, and decided then and there, “I’m going to make this happen.”
It was taking place the first week of October, so I had months. Enough time to get a brand new set printed up special. A Limited Edition Star Wars Jesus Dressup! I was going all out. My friends could dress up as Jehovah’s Witnesses & Catholic schoolgirls to take part! I would print banners and flyers. It was all very exciting.
ComicCon / October 2010 One of the silly brainstorms I had was to have a couple friends dressup as Jehovah’s Witnesses; white shirt, black tie, shoes & slacks, and of course, name tags. Searching the internet I found a place that could print buttons exactly like the ones JWs wore. It was in Utah, and I had the button design all worked out. I called and placed an order for all 6 in our group, and it read:
NORMAL BOB SMITH MINISTRIES THE CHURCH OFJESUS DRESSUP REFRIGERATOR MAGNETS “Just Google Jesus!”
Oh, I thought I was so clever. Unfortunately, just days before the event the button place returned my money and sent an email telling me they were refusing the job due to conflict of interest. Of course! This was a place run by Jehovah’s Witnesses who manufactured buttons for other Jehovah’s Witnesses, of which I was clearly not. I can only imagine the discussion that took place when they Googled Jesus. Luckily I was able to find another place last minute, right in midtown Manhattan to have them ready the next day. Leave it to New York City.
Owen, Amanda, Kenya, Bob, Mary & Christine
We were ready! The shipment of Star Wars JDUs arrived on time, looking fantastic! My cousin Owen flew in, plus my roommate Christine and her friend Amanda donated themselves. And two friends from Union, Mary & Kenya, all agreed to take part. We’d gotten a couple magnetic boards so people could play with Jesus inside our booth. Printed up posters, and flyers to be handed out. Then I rented a UHaul truck for all the stuff to set up.
SETUP Wednesday October 5th was setup day. I had rented the smallest UHaul to transport everything from Bushwick Brooklyn to the Javits Center on the west side of Manhattan. I knew this was going to be the next challenge. These boxes of rubber magnets are heavy. At the time I had six versions; The Original, BDSM, Xmas, Superstar, Halloween and of course the new Star Wars. One box of these holds 40 sets and each box is about 20 pounds. My expectations were high, so I brought 4 or 5 boxes of each. A quick rounded approximation was about 600 pounds of boxes to be transported from my 3rd floor apartment through the city to booth 2868 at the convention center, by foot. It was a lot.
The instructions we’d received from the event told us everything we needed to know about delivering our goods to the booth. They even encouraged us to use the people working there to help. When we arrived there were signs directing us to the back of the building, and sure enough, there were guys there telling us where to back the truck up and unload. Inside the building on the loading dock my friends and I were told to unload everything onto a pallet ourselves, then they used a forklift to carry it into the building to our spot. We were all extremely happy that it was all going by forklift.
The Jesus Dressup booth ComicCon 2010
The event was the most crowded convention I’d ever seen. Tens of thousands showed up to fill up that building to/and over its capacity. It was so crowded that often people wanting to stop at booths could not because the crowd was too thick and would whisk them away. There were nearly a hundred thousand people at the convention that year!
It also turned out that I may have dressed my friends a little too realistically. Christine, Owen and Kenya who I’d sent into the crowd dressed as Jehovah’s Witnesses carrying clipboards and promotional supplies had trouble getting anyone to pay them attention. “Everyone we approach tries to avoid eye contact and get away from us!” No one at ComicCon wanted to be evangelized too! Go figure. So yeah, that idea of mine kinda backfired.
SATURDAY At conventions like these, Saturday is the busiest. It’s assumed that Thursday and Friday most people are doing more browsing than buying. Saturday most people have the day off, and because it’s nearing the end of the event, everyone shows up and spends. Sunday is a shorter day, and most booths pack up early to beat the mass exodus. There’s always a palpable feel in the air that this circus is about to leave town. So Saturday morning we show up ready to rock, and there’s an envelope on our table addressed to me. It was a bill for $4,400 from the Javits Center for services rendered in transporting 600 lbs of product via forklift to our station. I was crushed.
We’d befriended the couple who were running the booth to our left, who sympathized, “We had precisely the same thing happen to us at another convention. We learned our lesson.” It included a letter stating that before the end of the day Sunday we’d be required to make payment, or provide the means in which to do so. What would have been a great Saturday was totally affected by that wretched invoice.
