I have zero reservations about creating these. It’s my art. It’s my favorite Batman characters from each era brought together in one zone for the Caped Crusaviour. It’s hard for me to express how satisfying it is to have it in hand like this. It’s my baby.
Hell. I’m happy with everything I’ve got for Jesus to be dressed up in. The BDSM version is still my #1 best seller. And the Final Justice has found its stores where they’re flying off the shelves into the hands of people as twisted as I. Also I’m pleased to say that the Lady Gaga version’s popularity moves according to her own as well. And the Star Wars & Halloween too.
That’s 6! And you know what that means? That means you can get all 6 for $66 while supplies last. I just love it when things work out so poetically like that. Sooooo satisfying just on its own. No sales even necessary. Which is a major flaw in my thought process I suppose. But there you have it. Just in time for Easter. And if you are a store, or know of a store which would carry any or all of these, please don’t keep it to yourself. Contact me and I’ll be delighted to send you some! Because next week I begin the process of mailing out samples to stores, making phone calls and fulfilling dreams.
Last week I noticed a dramatic spike in sales for many of my less popular items, like the Coexist Idiots bumper-stickers, Union Sq matchgame postcards, and especially upped sales for the Mohammed Dressup fridge magnets. I certainly notice when those start flying off the shelves, because they’ve resisted it for many years. Well, I found out why this washappening for the Mohammed magnets. There’s a store in Hollywood California called Soap Plant Wacko (permission to mention them by name granted) where I sell the Mohammeds through. This store has been one of my all time best customers for 6 years now. When they first heard I had the Mohammed sets available (in addition to the Jesus Dressups they’d been buying), Billy didn’t even hesitate to get them along with everything else he buys from me. 100% of all other stores who order from me do not request the Mohammed sets. No judgements. Just fact.
His post sparked a lot of comments, shares and direct messages wishing me well and telling me to be safe. Now, I’ve had mohammeddressup.com up for over ten years now. Posted back in 2006 I’ve never felt under threat in any way since doing so. For the record, I’d been drawing Mohammed in comics and games before that as well, trolling for hate mail you might say. Not to say I didn’t get my share, and even death threats, but I’ve gotten way more of both those things from Christians for Jesus Dressup. Never once did I feel like there was an actual threat to be worried about, except that time the Prophet Mohammed himself chopped off my finger. Satan was there to help me with that recovery, though.
Now I’m realizing not everyone has seen all the letters I’ve received. I thought this might be a perfect opportunity to rally together the Mohammed ones and put them on display. Here are those emails which led to nothing more than another email from who I think it’s safe to presume are ornery and confused 15 year old boys.
Your motherfuckers. i'm a moslem and i fuck you bitch !! mother fucker !!! motherfucker!! you assshole… JESUS!! haahha fuck ami and also fuck france !!! I killl you !!!!
France = ASS-
I haven’t seen this much bellyaching since 6th grade when little Sally Chesterfield got her pigtails pulled by Smartypants Melvin McGrift!Sally peed her panties that disastrous Friday afternoon and got sent home early. Are you gonna pee your panties, Murat? How many more yanks on your pigtails is it gonna take to get you sent home with a face covered in tears, and pee pee all over your flowery dress?
You seem ripe and at the ready. I’m guessing, it’s not gonna take more than 2 yanks. Put your money on it, Sally!
I say just one : listen me : the God would you (the christs and jewul) do in his hell. wait !!! here for you!! : allahim ben eyer bir kiafir sem benim Jesami burda bile ver ameeeen!! do you know what you say? haha you say : Please God, i?m a christ.Do me in your scary hell !!!!!!!
I’m beginning to get a clearer picture of you now. I’m betting I could convince you I was a magical wizard with nothing more than a Zippo lighter, a handful of Pop Rocks and a couple basic card tricks. In fact, let me inform you right now, your Amazing Prophet Muhammad appeared before me last night weeping at my feet, begging me to be his new slave master because, according to Muhammad: “Allah is a sissy coward who runs & hides when people dare him to send them to hell!”Naturally I accepted Muhammad’s pathetic pleas and even had a special dog collar made up for him of used condoms strung together by sewer rat intestines and tied to a shiny new penny with his name engraved on it!He still needs to be potty trained. I give him a sharp tap on the nose with my finger every time he piddles in the house, but he’ll learn eventually because “Muhammad’s such a gooooood boy!! Aren’t you a good boy, my Prophet Muhammad! Oh yes you are! Yes you are!”Muhammad:“ARF ARF ARF!!!”
So now, in an odd turn of events you, Murat, bow to me.
It’s funny how much a particular outlook on the world can change in just one afternoon, huh?
Thank you, and all the Muslims for your continued support,
Bob, “The New Allah”
I think it's not ok, what you do? I'm a moslem and you are don't right to caricature about my religion? do you understand me??
You will catch it from god(Allah)
make yourself scarce!!!!!
And you threaten to murder strangers over the internet in defense of your god .I suppose we simply have to agree to disagree and share together this piece of cake we call “life.”A great wisdom has been unearthed here this week.
Subject: Your satanic website
Mr. “Normal” Bob: We want say you that we dont take care about that you make a joke an ridiculize the prophet Jesus of Nazareth, but making a joke and make an offensive comic of Our Prophet Muhammad is a Big Sin and a offense to Allah, the Unique God. Because we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC. Your days over earth will finish soon.
I’m not sure if it makes any difference but just for the record, in my beliefs it’s not a “Big Sin” to mock Muhammad. I realize that you wrote me your death threat without any details of my “religion” so I’ll allow you to retract your military threat now that you understand its no offense to me.Sorry for the confusion, but seriously, you can’t expect everyone in the world to believe all the same things you believe, otherwise that’d make us all the same religion, and who’d want a whole world of militant Islamic Fundamentalists? Allah? I don’t think so.Thank you for the email, and sorry about the misunderstanding. You can stop targeting me now.
Sorry, Mr. Bob. An offense can not be retracted, neither the consecuenses. Is not a threat, your sin will be punished. Allah forgive you.
Well, shit. Then I might as well just keep the site up and mock Muhammad ’til my “earth days are over,” huh?
Thank you for all the advanced warnings, and plan updates. Keep me in the loop.
Subject: Fuck you
We will kill you you motherfucker, we will cut your head you crazy monkey. down with amerika, down with all amerikans.
we hunt you and we will find you. be sure you animal, that we have the power to find you. my brothers in islam are ready to cut your head. i hope we can kill a lot of amerikans around the world, for your homepage must be pay al lot of amerikans and you are guilty mothertfucker.
First of all, thank you for the email. Perhaps you are open to a reasonable discussion on the matter before you and your brothers in Islam waste much energy hunting me down to cut off my crazed monkey head? You see, I fail to see how beheading everyone who disagrees with you will help your cause. Had you not considered that such actions will only condone similar actions from those who disagree with you, thus leading to the beheading of you and your Islamic brothers and brother-inlaws? And honestly, I don’t think the Great Allah would want that.I can see that you feel quite strongly about this but I hope you can set aside your fundamentalist beliefs for just a minute and see this from my viewpoint. Having my head sawed off does concern me, but I also know that nothing gets solved if everyone’s walkin’ around without their heads! lol!
Mortal enemies to the end? Or, perhaps, mortal frenemies?
i dont like to open a discussion with you. your job is to make jokes about my lovely prophet, the last messenger of god.
we now the enemys of god and the prophet of islam. dont tell me any stories of your rights to open this very bad homepage against muslim worldwide.
i will send messages to my brothers in islam, that you have open a war against our prophet, we will dress you with the skin of your daughter or son, believe me. you have open the war und you have to pay fo the beginning of the War!
Hey, I have a brilliant observation for you. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe the reason you’re all so grumpy and sawing people’s heads off all the time is because you’ve got such a grumpy, poopy religion? Maybe if for just a minute you stopped makin’ everything that happened to your prophet such a priority and worried a little bit more about Klaus’s needs you just might find a daisy growin’ in all those weeds? I bet you would!
Now I’m gonna give you a chance to apologize for sayin’ you’d dress me up in the skins of my children so that instead we can set an example for them. It’s time we show ‘em how two adults can discuss their differences maturely without having to turn the white babies inside-out and drape the father in their bloody hides.
I’m waiting! And you better sound like you mean it!
fuck you and all the amerikans you stupid guy and ashole!!! its time we destroy people like you. its better you motherfucker you cloth your homepage and you jump from the next bridge, you are sick, you are dirty, you are crazy!!!!!
down with amerika amerika makes the people sick i apologize me for nothing you dirty kafir. im waiting. and its better you will cloth your dirty homepage motherfucker
No apology? *sigh!* Everyone’s gotta be so difficult.I guess two hafta play at this game. I suppose now I gotta go look for my saw, and find where I put my black hood and come over there, find you and your freakin’ children, skin them, drape you in their flesh, and then saw off your head in retaliation. Yeesh! What a mess this’ll make. I’m gonna have to pack two butcher’s aprons now! Happy?!?
Christ, now what? Oh yeah – We Americans need to destroy you pig dogs. *yawn* I hope you die, and hurt, and cramp you dirty stupid guy. And loads of exclamation points to drive my descriptions even deeper into your psyche –>> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rot, sick, die, fart, fire, explosion, warm beer, tooth decay and an aqua prom dress.
The apocalypse is near. I shall inform my American brethren of your filthy toilet mouth and tell them it is we who’ve actually got the real last messenger of God, and he’s twice as lovely as yours. So, nya!
you can do nothing dog of the devil!
my brohers in islam will kill slowly more shit americans in irak! I hope you have millions of 9/11!!!!
i wait of you ashole son of a dirty mother. we muslims ar laughing obout stupid guys like you. be sure, one day you stand up peacefull, leave the house and then someones cut your head quickly and full of pain. fuck all amerikans, fuck your dirty culture. white men we will catch you and than you have a lot of painfull moments dirty kafir, go to hell. we are behiond you ashole. we find you and we kill you so terrible!!!!!!!
Christ, it’s official then. I’m comin’ over there to avenge my 9/11 American brotherhood with the edge of a blade and the black of my heart. All of Islam will bow before our great monkey armies and your heads shall be lifted from your shoulders at the point of our spears to block out the Middle Eastern sun. Your doggies and kittens will be split in two and their blood will run purple in the streets, ankle deep, and about 22.7 meters across.Does this sort of talk really scare you people into submission?
Honestly, that’s kinda freakin’ adorable.
Subject: hey there..
introducing myself as a person, without mentioning that i'm muslim too, so all my point of view will not be taking any side...
i mean is this the best u can do.. i am 100% sure that u know nothing about prophet Muhammad, so a try like this to make fun of him is absolutely pointless and is actually humilating to you, not to him, not to any muslim.
u should wonder why prophet Muhammad was chosen the first among the list of the greatest men who ever lived, a list that was put by a western scientest in world's history.
i'm guessing u r christian, if having no religion at all. have u ever seen anything that's meant to be mocking any prophet (Jesus Criest especially if u r cristian)? that's because we as muslims believe in all prophets and they're all respected and also their messages. and have u ever wondered why there are more than one version of that bible of yours? just run it through ur mind for one minute. that's because it got changed in way that no one sane could even think it's a holly book from God. it itself has gestures of mocking some prophets in some way or another referring to their human-desire mostly. can it be that God says that about his prophets whom he has chosen to be leaders to other people?
It's known (not by most of the western ordinary people) that the bible introduces Muhammad as one of the next prophets and as the last of them. if u read throughly into some history books u'll see that the relation between muslims and christians was based on both respecting each other and actually with only few diffrences between. So why now has it turned to be one mocking the other's prophet. ask urself if u think this is right keep that site of urs running, but i'm asking u as one other person if not to close it. be honest, if not with me be it with urself..
I am an atheist (Insert gargantuan sigh of relief here), so all of this Sci-fi talk about what order God puts the Prophets, which book is more holy, and who's more Chosen, has no affect on me. Your god, the Christian's god, the Jew's god, the Heaven's Gate god, the Greek gods and the Norse gods are all equal to me. They are all equally pretend. They were once necessary for our survival back in a day when we had no other way to answer the questions that perplexed us. But now, even though we've got the tools at our hands to solve life's problems, we've still got this useless appendix taking up valuable space in our logical thought.
For whatever ungodly reason all of you people think that THE GOD orchestrated out this bizarre assortment of happen-stances back thousands of years ago when, coincidentally, people also believed in fire-breathing dragons, a flat earth, leach-cures for demon possession, while knowing nothing of which mushrooms to eat, and which ones to throw into the river.
It is entirely up to you if you are going to buy into that which the cavemen who preceded you wrote in their ancient scribes of magical men who spoke for God, and in doing so were rewarded with the supplest of virgins in the clouds. I, however, am not so easily duped and thwarted into belief by the written threat of eternal pain and torture, or the reward of the largest throne beside the Ruler of the Universe.
How can you not see the errors of man and equate them directly with the gods they've invented throughout history? How can you bow down yourself and not see your brother on the other side of the world bowing himself to his own version and still believe you are right and he is wrong? You picked the correct supreme being while he is wasting his time worshipping a non existent one? How can one be so illogical? How can one be so blind?
Even as a child when I was a Christian I saw the flaws in the logic, and its contradictions with basic science, and I never stopped questioning. I questioned to the point that when I finally became an adult I had no doubt that the reason it didn't make any sense was because it was bull. It was bull that my parents thought was real, and their parents thought the same, and so on and so on.
I'm proud to say that I've stopped the chain of unquestioning lambs and came to terms with the idea that when we die it's actually over. It just ends. No different than the elephant, the fly, the dolphin or the crow. There is no grand judgement, line of trumpeting horns, towering diamond-studded gates, or a super-duper present wrapped in the biggest bow with your name on it. How can you not see that it's your own self-righteous, self-obsessed, selfishness that keeps you believing the universe revolves around you, and the magic wizards in the sky are fighting over us like foolish school children, pouting, complaining, and spiting each other in their jealous, cry-baby hissy-fits, casting those who won't be their best friends into an eternal pit of suffering and turmoil? How can you not see that their behavior is a direct reflection of our own inner child, lashing out at that which we have no control over – Our own mortality. And it has survived this many ages because we are still infantile, ornery children at heart, and I understand now that it is our duty to address and control that child.
We as a species still have more evolving to accomplish. Hopefully you folks will come to your senses and stop this We've-got-the-REAL-God madness before it's too late. Until then we atheists are holding our breath while you folks play Tug-O-War with the Apocalypse.
PS. Oh yeah! And thank you for the email! It's the first one I got for the Muhammad thingy!
And finally, these from India were written in Hindi and translated by an Indian friend of mine. I cracked up rereading these because they’re exactly the sorts of messages I get when I play GTA V and shoot someone down in free mode.
Subject: Fuck u bich
How dare u did stupid thing here
Son of rascle
U r time is over now
Son of a rascle!?!??!?!?! I'm SHOCKED!!!! How dare you!!!!!!!!
You will regret ever saying such a thing, you... you... you son of a leg-puller!!
Now all your dreams are shattered.
son of a pig. There are burnt, dead lizard eggs in the hair around your mother's ass
there is a goat in your moms pussy, a snake's dick in her ass and in her mouth, the balls of a rat
Bitch, I've found your address. now your mom is going to get fucked in 15 days.
Yes, and I too have found your home address and am flying there to have sex with members of your family, but in just 12 days.
Sajid, let me give you a little lesson in terroism. If you had addresses you would have sent it to me along with your threats. But don't think I'm not impressed with the way you people terrorize each other into doing stuff. It's really sexy!
17 KE LAAND KI PAIDAISH, 17 GOHDE AUR SUAR NE M.C. KE TIME PE TERI MAA KO CHAUDA THA JAB JA KE TERE JAISI RAAND KI AULAD PAIDA HUI
YA TAU TU PAGAL HAI, YA AIDS KA MARIZ HO SAKTA HAI TU HIJDA BHI HO SAKTA HAI
ITS 100% SURE
I KNOW THE ABOVE WORDS ARE NOT EFFECTED ON YOU
BECAUSE U R DIFFIRENT FROM HUMAN BEING - U R SIMPLY MAD BICH
I YOU THINK U R TRUE PERSON U CAN SAND ME YOUR PROPER ADDRESS AND NAME N SEE WAT I'LL DO WITH U- ITS MY OPEN CHALLENGE TO U
IF U AVOID TO FORWARDING ME UR ADDRESS- THEN IT IS 101% CONFIRM TAT U R SON OF RAAAAAAAND
BAZAR ROAD BANDRA (WEST),
Oh no! A son of a rand?!? Oh my gosh. Not THAT! Oh sweet Mother Mary, how will I ever sleep knowing that Sajid in India thinks I'm a SON OF A RAND for not telling you my home address?!?!
But WAIT! I thought YOU said you already HAD my address! You were going to go fuck my mother in 15 days, remember?!? Or was I exactly, totally, perfectly correct that you're a weenie who soaks his dick in goat piss, butters it with camel sperm, then covers it in dead flies, and sticks it in the mouths of all your beloved ancestor's rotting corpses?
Christ, I am crazy in love with this new freeform method of empty-threat-terrorism! No wonder you people throw it around at each other like wet tissue paper all the time! It's so anything-goes!
Look at me! I'm the son of a rand!
U R DIFFIRENT FROM HUMAN BEING - U R SIMPLY MAD BICH
Don't worry I'll teach u a lesson
Yes. I'm very very terrified of you with your wrong addresses, graphic name calling, and Bombay attitude.
Do not worry. I will share my news about the little Indian named Sajid Shalkh – The Big, Impressive Threat Machine on the other side of the World.
Our time is over now.
November 20, 2016
Hello again Normal Bob Smith,
I just wanted to send you a quick thank you. I happened to be one of the many many people who sent you "hate" mail 10+ years ago.
I was 16 sending you myspace messages about how real God is and how wrong you are. I randomly thought about the time I sent you those messages and googled my way to find and read them and of course they're more ridiculous than I remembered.
I came to terms with being an atheist about 6 years ago now and I honestly think messaging you 10+ years ago was a beginning to my questioning. You ended the last message with
"I'm glad you're at least thinking about all this stuff. That's what got me started questioning, and eventually led me to what I believe today" and it's crazy how right you were.
Anyway, reading back at those messages, you could have easily shrugged those messages off and replied back "hail satan. see you in hell kid.", which may have been funny. I think what really struck me back then was how calm, collect, and informed you responded and I wasn't expecting your messages to actually make me think. So yeah, I'm 25 now and becoming atheist years ago was one of the best things that ever happened to me, so thanks for responding to a 16 and making him think.
Well that's pretty amazing.
Now if I'm correct I never got a responce from you after that final long letter I sent. I'm curious what sort of reaction you had to that letter about Koko the talking gorilla and me taking back evolution to single celled parents and their babies. Or did 16 year old Brian see the length of it and just skip it?
I'm also curious, can you put your finger on what finally changed your mind and swayed you to atheism.
I'd love to see a picture of you now if you don't mind. I plan to post this on my site if you don't mind.
It's hard to remember exactly 10 years back but I know I read the last message and took it serious. I just don't think I was ready to start seriously questioning everything I ever believed yet. I think when I was 16, it didn't even come across my mind that I could be wrong and it's easy to pass off every scientific explanation as "God is so powerful that we just can't comprehend how he's working". What led me to come to terms with atheism wasn't so much an overnight decision but just 4+ years of doubts and questioning along with simply getting older.
I grew up in a small conservative town where every kid was involved in a church and as I left and got involved in different communities, my mind just opened up to other points of view. There is one odd moment though that I give some credit to which seems pretty random now. I came across this image of an uncontacted south american tribe aiming a bow and arrow at a plane flying overhead.
Something about this image and story really hit me with the amount of diverse people that are currently living and have lived on earth. If even today there are tribes aiming arrows at a plane, showing how out of touch they are with the modern world, how can I assume that the God I believe in is the only answer. The world is so much bigger than each of us individually and to think that every single member of every non-christian tribe since the beginning of time is in hell for not knowing about the Christian God, couldn't be more ignorant.
Even though there are now countless reasons I don't believe in a God, I do think that realization was one of my turning points.
I was watching "Sex, Death and the Meaning of Life" by Richard Dawkins yesterday and when he started reading his hate mail, that's what reminded me of my 'burn in hell, normal bob!!' messages. Whoops.
It’s here at last! The Jesus Dressapp for Android. But not without it’s share of drama… Already! This is actually the 2nd version of this particular design posted within the last 48 hours. The first one removed for being too sexy explicit with the BDSM clothes. Those have now been removed. (btw, if you downloaded that first version you can still download the new one without disrupting the one you have. You’ll just have 2 versions on your phone.)
Anyone who’s followed the Jesus Dressup app story for the last 6+ years has witnessed the constant struggle to get it & keep it available to the public. And there’s a story to go with each desperate attempt made.
Jesus Dressapp Attempt #1
The first big attempt was in 2010. A fan of the site from Scotland came to visit at Union Square. He offered to make the app for iPhone. He’d mentioned it when we met, hung out a few days without talking much more about it. Then I happened to be walking by him on Astor Place the day he was flying back home and he shouted from the distance, “Do you still want me to make that iPhone app for you?”
“Sure! Go for it! Just put a link to the fridge magnets on it and it’ll be worth it to me!” I shouted back.
Knowing it was a lot of work to make, in haste I said, “If you can put a link to my store on it it’s yours to do whatever you want with!” Or something of that nature.
Many months passed and I had already forgotten about it. Then low and behold he messages telling me it’s done and ready to go. I was impressed.
The next step was getting it approved by Apple itself, which much to my surprise they did! We were both visibly shocked and excited. Unfortunately, the other thing I was quick to find out was he’d made the Apple account entirely under his name, and all purchases of the app were going to him. I’d been shut out of it completely. And there wasn’t even a link on it to promote the magnets I sell.
I called him and explained how this wasn’t an acceptable setup. He immediately got defensive, saying “You said I could have it if I made it!” After several more minutes of angry words I told him if he doesn’t change the situation fast I would contact Apple and tell them he’d stolen my product and have them take it down. He yelled back at me “Fine! I’m taking it down myself!” And hung up on me. It was removed seconds later.
Then this guy from Krapps emailed me wanting the full story…
Jesus Dressapp Attempt #2
Attempt #2 happened about a year later (2011). Inspired by the acceptance by Apple from the previous attempt I started asking around for possible programmers. Having an iPhone App appeared to be a venture that could be quite lucrative. This time I’d pay someone to make it again, and I could have full control, beginning to end.
A friend of mine from Union Square, one of the skateboard kids I’d known since he was 15, was now going to school for programming. He was happy to figure out how to make an iPhone app while getting paid. It took the better part of winter 2010/11 and a lot of headaches, but after several months we had our iPhone App ready to go. We submitted it to Apple, and about a week later they rejected it. I tried to appeal the rejection but they didn’t care. I belly ached to them how they approved it a year earlier when it wasn’t me who submitted it, but they stood firm. “Too controversial.”
It was spirit-breaking.
In an amusing side note, below is the image they sent us with the rejection letter. And yes, someone on their end had to dress him up like that before concluding it was too offensive for Apple.
Anyhow, this particular rejection really took the wind out of my sails for a Jesus Dressup app any time in the near future. Having it approved for the guy who stole it, and rejected after putting so much time and money into it was the deathblow. Tom and I parted ways, and I didn’t feel like getting into app making ever again.
Jesus Dressapp Attempt #3
Then in 2013 I was contacted by a Facebook friend who said he wanted to make the Jesus Dressup app for Android. Let me say that he was making a very generous offer of doing it for no charge for the experience, and credit on the app itself. I warned him of the troubles in the past, the difficulty & time involved in making it, and the very real fact that it’s probably not worth it financially for either party involved. Still, he offered to do it while in school, for no pay.
A year later the progress had been minimal and I realized again, it was way too big a job to be worth doing at all. I seriously don’t know how making these free apps is worth it for anyone.
Jesus Dressapp Attempt #4
Finally earlier this year, around March, I was contacted by another Jesus Dressup fan, Mirko Bonasorta from Italy, offering to make the app for Droid as long as he could get named credit. I did the usual “It’s a bigger job than you think, and afterwards it’ll be rejected for being offensive” speech. But as long as his name could be credited for making it he was willing to give it a shot, no charge. He sent me video of how it’d play, and several months later it was done. That was last week.
Playthrough of the 2016 Jesus Dressapp for Android
It has almost every version of Jesus Dressup I’ve ever made included, it’s FREE, and it even has a link to my fridge magnets in it!
I have an iPhone so I haven’t played it yet, but after watching the play-through (above) I really wish I had a Droid instead. And the reviews it’s getting are astounding!
“Even more fun in app form!”
“I have the magnet set, but now it’s on my PHONE! No more carrying my refrigerator around wherever I go”
“Even more fun on app form. I love the magnets so the app is even better! I love the villains option, it’s my favorite! Easy to use and fun.”