Category Archives: Jesus Dressup

Amazing Strangers, Jesus Dressup, News, Shaggy, Star Wars Jesus, Starbucks

Happily Issolated

Jesus Dressup

I’m very pleased to announce I’ve just put in an order for a new Star Wars Jesus Dressup set. I was inspired, to say the least, after seeing Episode 7. Keep in mind however that I will not be able to display this on my site, for what I think is an obvious reason. They will be available in about 2 months (possibly 3). So if you’re a diehard fan like me, you’ll just have to keep an eye out for “IMAGE NOT AVAILABLE” item in my store. They’ll be slightly less discreet than this in stores that’ll carry them for me.

Normal Bob in Bowie shirt
In 1987 my friend Elizabeth’s sister Kathy was drawing David Bowie on shirts for $50 a pop. I’d seen the one Liz had and had to have one for myself. So my friend Travis & I each gave her $50 so we could each have one.

David Bowie’s death sucked. I thought, and hoped, it could possibly be a prank when I first read it. But after a bit of looking around I realized it was real. I found an old picture of me from 1987 of me wearing my hand drawn shirt I paid a friend $50 to make for me. She only drew David Bowie on shirts. I wore it all the time, and I still have that shirt to this day. I bring it up because it also gave me an idea for a Bowie-theme Jesus Dressup set. That might be next on the list.

Amazing Strangers

union square crew
Spidey, Shaggy & Roman reunion

I spoke with Shaggy yesterday, and it sounds like his antics haven’t slowed down in the least! He’s got a Starbucks apron which you might have seen in one of the videos from years ago, and he’s been throwing free-loaders out of Starbucks this winter with it! He told me after work he walks in there with the apron on and shouts, “Folks, welcome to Starbucks! Let me warn you, if you have not purchased a coffee or food item I am going to have to ask you to leave!”

He said that immediately after his announcement the place goes quiet, but nothing really happens. Then he gets his coffee and sits down and notices people start to slowly clear out, and the only people sitting at tables and hanging around have coffees.

He sees some employees shake their heads when he does all this, and once one of them came over and told him he can’t come in with the apron on. He responded, “What are you going to do? Throw me out? It’s a free country!”
After that they seem to have left him alone.

So beware. If you’re going to Starbucks to sit at a table without buying anything, Shaggy might be there to call you out!

I have to admit I do with I was there to film him doing that this winter.

As for me, at the moment I am really enjoying the isolation. Whatever it is I’ve been doing these last 20 years in the big, crowded cities of NYC and Chicago, getting away from it is just what the doctor ordered. Everyone keeps asking me if I miss NYC, and the answers still no. Ask me again in spring.

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Blog, Bob Smith USA, Jesus Dressup, News

Holidays Upon Us

Jesus Dressup fridge magnets available

Zen with Jesus Dressup magnets
Zen with Jesus Dressup magnets

Fridge magnet sales are rolling in & reminding me that I’m still the manager of a website. Those orders are being shipped out next day despite my lagging on all other activities on the site. I am however at the lowest selection I’ve had for a long time.
Here’s what I’ve got.

Officially I have 4 sets of Jesus magnets available: BDSM, Final Justice, Halloween & Lady Gaga Jesus. I also have Mohammed dress up games as well. And if you wanna know the facts, sales for these are indeed coming in, from Europe mostly. So anyhow, that’s 5 – Officially.

Unofficially I also have special sets available. Like for instance the first print of Final Justice Jesus from 2006. This has always been my personal favorite, and I have one and a half boxes left of these. They are for sale until I feel like I don’t want to lose any more of them.

browning on jesus magnets
This is the last year for Christmas JDU because now, after ten years, they’re starting to “brown.” The muddiness is most noticeable in the yellow part of the cross.

The Christmas Jesus Dressups are beginning to “brown.” They’re just not looking as bright as they did in 2005 when they first arrived at my door, and I’m not even offering them to the stores I sell to any more. That means this’ll be their last year. Same thing happened to my last boxes of the Original sets, so they had to be tossed as well. But if you can deal with their slight aging (see sample) they’re just $10. And if you email me after you’ve purchased them and request I fit as many as I can into your Flat Rate envelope (about 4 or 5 I think) I’ll happily do so for no additional cost, because I will never produce these ones again. Too limited of a sales window!

I’ve still got the “All 7 for $77” offer up that includes many of the unavailable sets. I was reminded of this when someone a couple days ago purchased it, and I had to come to grips with what I had available. So as it turns out, if you put in that order I’ll just dip into the sets I’ve got tucked away in my lockbox to fulfill it. You heard right.

I have plans after the holidays to start restocking with new selections. Immediately I’ll be getting both Batman & Star Wars sets made. I’m quite excited. Now that I’m out of NYC and where I am I have more space for storage so I’m able to begin building up this aspect of my business again. It’s a beautiful & satisfying process.

Jesus Dressup App

I’ve been given another shot at making the Jesus Dressup app. This’ll be the 4th attempt at making it! The three that failed before this all stopped short for a different reason each time.

The first time it got made was a guy who after it was complete and Apple posted it for people to purchase, decided to not hand it over to me and just keep the profits for himself. I had to threaten him to take it down.

The second one (read about it in left sidebar) I paid a guy to make, and he did a beautiful job with it, but this time Apple rejected it because it was offensive content. That really killed my spirit on trying to make it again.

The third time was from another person who said they’d make it for no charge, and after a year passed he realized it was too big a job and bailed.

So a couple weeks ago a guy in Italy said he’d do a Droid app for free as long as his name was in the credits for making it. I’ve agreed, and he’s already shown me samples of how it might play, and it looks sharp! But I also have a grasp on the plausibility of it.

Amazing Strangers

As for the Amazing Strangers of Union Square videos, I think those’ll just have to wait. I’ve tried several times to go in and start putting together some of the unused videos I’ve got stored away, but my heart’s not in it. And quite honestly, the best footage has been posted. If I were to start posting the stuff you’ve never seen before your first thought would be “Yeah, I can see why he didn’t post this before.”

Normal Bob answers question about God – Aug 28, 2005
Normal Bob answers question about God outside Verb Coffee in Bedford Mall

In 2003 when Neil Abramson came out and filmed me for his Bob Smith USA movie, he interviewed Shaggy & I and followed us around the city with his camera, then never used the footage. I realized that when I finally do put together this Union Square movie (or whatever it’s going to be) including that footage of Neil’s is my dream. It just has to be there. I’ve sent him a couple requests, but I also know he’s a busy man, and that footage is buried somewhere. Anyhow, that’s the goal, and until then, I am just not feelin’ it.

My plans

As for what I’m planning to do from here? That has yet to be determined. I know what I want and what I don’t want but I have no idea where this place exists. For now I’m completely content here in Michigan looking forward to a country Christmas winter, playing with the dog, helping my folks in their daily lives… and just a little bit of Grand Theft Auto V.

Amazing Strangers, Anthropology, Art, Blog, Freelance, Jesus Dressup, Magnets, Union Square

Calmly Begging for Rescue

Hire Me

Normal Bob sits above No Your City sticker
Normal Bob sits above No Your City Normal Bob place-holder

Yesterday I had an experience with a client that sent a chill down my spine. The client, who’s hired & paid me good money for an art  job told me, “I’ve got other jobs I’d love to have you working on, but you look so busy, I assume you don’t have the time for more stuff.”

In that brief instant, during a time when I’m scrambling around for money to pay bills, I imagined dozens of other potential clients saying to themselves, “Dammit! I’ve got jobs for this guy but he looks too busy to do them. I’ll go look for someone else I suppose.” Then flash forward 6 months to an image of me packing a U-Haul with what’s left of my possessions which have been put on the street by my landlord, on my way to a new life in Idaho to make some lame map of a park there that no one will ever care about.

Let me please be as clear as I know how to be. I need work. I have time for work. I LOVE to work! I also love to be all caught up on bills make-believing I can afford to still live in this city on a starving artist’s income. Please, for the love of God, if you’re out there needing art, or any other elements of my creativity, and you’re happy to pay, contact me! Prolong my stay in this expensive city! And thank you very much.

If you don’t have a job for me, but you’d still like to see me continue what I’m doing here, visit my store. That helps pay my bills as well.

I’m happy to say that after expressing these same thoughts to the aforementioned client he immediately sighed with relief and began a list of more jobs for me.

Jesus Dressup

This has been the toughest year for the magnets yet. The stores who’ve got them on their shelves have no problem selling them, but far too often I’ve been losing them because of customer complaints. It’s an ongoing problem I’ve always had to deal with (others frowning upon me profiting off the crucifixion), but I’m shocked at how many store managers as of late just don’t even want to chance it.

I’ve been dying to produce the new Batman Jesus Dressup I’ve got it designed and ready to go, but as I mentioned in the previous entry, I just can’t seem to accumulate the necessary funds to get that ball rolling. I’ve gotten a few stores recently who are very excited about Jesus Dressup in general, and it’s because of you people that I was able to find those stores and send them samples. So if there’s a store in your neighborhood you think might be interested in my magnets, please don’t hesitate to pass their name onto me. That simple act can make a world of difference.

Union Square

Amazing Strangers Wendell icon

Things are just getting underway at the Square, and I’ve got the camera rolling. Everyone’s been asking about that hat thief kid, whether or not he’s behaving himself since then, if he’s crazy or on drugs, and anything else I might know about him. All I can say is he’s been at the park several times since and has been pretty subdued. No other excitement from him yet, and from the looks of it he appears to have learned his lesson.

I’ve avoided tracking him down and grilling him for answers simply because if he wants his space I’m happy to give it to him. Also, I always have the lingering fear in the back of my head that when we finally do talk he’s going to ask for the video to be taken down. Yes, that’s what I have to deal with regularly in this unconventional hobby.

And then today, Apr 21, 2015 he approached me having just seen the video for the first time, twenty days later. His reasons and explanations may not be what you expect.

I got word that Chewy (Tarzan) got caught trying to sell dope to an undercover, and because he’s got priors he’s been put away for more than a few years. Matty Ice has been MIA since the last video. And there’s no sign yet of Lotion Man either.

I could go down the list of everybody who’s made an appearance thus far, but it’s easier just to show off the photos I’ve been taking.


Art, Blog, Freelance, Inna, Jesus Dressup, Portfolio

Artbucks Coffee

Inna art
Portrait of Inna digitized in Adobe Illustrator

My ex messaged me last month saying, “I keep waiting for your annual ‘winter sucks and I’m lonely in this cruel city’ message, but none has come. Are you happier this year? I hope so.“
Well, I’m now officially in winter’s pattern. Wake up – Coffee – Starbucks – More coffee – Art – Go home – Finish art project – Sleep.

That’s it kids. That’s my life come winter. I mean, I know that’s not 100% the case, but Jesus Christ, it’s a difficult pattern for me to shake. Good news is though, I’ve been producing what I consider to be some of my best pieces. I’m proud of these portraits that’ve been coming out of me. Yesterday I finished this Inna Portrait (above), and I swear I went to sleep gazing at it (A selfishness I’ve allowed myself since I was a teen), and imagining myself waking up to 10,000+ Likes, an Inbox filled with emails congratulating on what a spectacular job I’ve done, and knocking on my door demanding sex. None of that happened of course, but it doesn’t slow down the desperate need I’ve got to draw. So instead I just send those emails to myself, and pound on my own door. There it is, as the ex requested.

Shaggy looked at me sketching Inna last week and said “What’s your obsession with Inna? How many times have you drawn her?” And I realize that posting this one the day before Valentine’s Day may seem like love, but it’s not. I mean, I do love Inna like a friend, but I am not harboring a deep seeded crush on the girl. I do think she’s an ideal subject. Her style is something that deserves to be drawn again and again. So Shaggy, including the little cartoons of her I’ve put on the Matchgame Postcard, the answer to that question is now officially 5.

Soo Catwoman art
Soo Catwoman digitized in Adobe Illustrator

I know I keep repeating myself with subjects. Inna for instance. Yolandi, of course. Also, Soo Catwoman. But for whatever reason I just have to draw these people again and again. Their aesthetics just please me so. And if Im sitting and drawing, I’m doing something good. In fact, I’m at my best. And that’s reason enough.

All of this too I hope will encourage inquiries about hiring my artistic talents. Yes, I am available for work. Now more than ever. After the holidays things slow down, and they usually don’t pick up again until Spring. So if you know of any jobs that pay for this level of drawing & Adobe Illustrator skills, please contact me. I’m really good! And worth every penny.

anglerfish art
Anglerfish digitized in Adobe Illustrator

Presently though I’m working through the disappointment looming on the horizon of not being able to afford printing Batman Jesus Dressup magnets. I thought I’d have enough after the holidays, but the holidays are over, and I’m coming up short. I’m hoping these next couple months I can get the necessary work and sales to solve it, but at the moment they must be put on hold. Do stories like this encourage sales & paying gigs to appear in my mailbox? I suppose this is exactly how I’ll find that out.

Latest art & photos with videos attached –