Everyone’s freaking out over the video I posted with the guy filming kids at Union Square. Luke’s letters hopefully address the problem you’re all having with me, it, and him.
“If you wanna film some guy filming little shits, you should’ve filmed yourself kicking him in the balls.”
Yeah… I wonder about you suddenly there, Mister Smith. I’m a goon, not a cunt. If you wanna film some guy filming little shits, you should’ve filmed yourself kicking him in the balls. Truce.
Luke
I thought I made it perfectly clear that I’m on their side. Get it fucking straight next time, and stop confusing me with your bunny-hugging pussy reflection.Bob
“Jesus, man…”
I don’t know if I should laugh at this, or fucking cry! Bunny hugging pussy reflections? Jesus, man… just to shit you.
Luke
Laugh a lot. The internet-tough-talk is always funny. Everyone’s the deadliest ninja vigilante on the web, while in the mirror they’re just another dopey fuck. It’s hilarious.Bob
“C’mon, man, real world. You weren’t filming that. You couldn’t have been.”
yeah, enough of that, please. who’s the guy in the red? you’re an internet influence to me, don’t fuck this. i wanted my own website’ all because i found yours. i usually type in capitals. why don’t you burden me with some of your nonsense. real world. no, man, I’m not luring you into a grooming booth, don’t be so uptight. internet tough is n’t real. Raising a child is. C’mon, man, real world. You weren’t filming that. You couldn’t have been. And if you did, I believe you would’ve handed that in and spoonfed him to the cops. An act can only go so far and act is just an act. To me, handing the footage to the cops is tough, ’cause I’d have done that. There some unpainted stuff for ya. Fuck yar truce, goodnight.
Luke
It was the perv’s third pass. The first 2 times I was still figuring out what the hell he was doing because he was so goddamn fishy, then I saw him coming in for the 3rd pass and I pulled out the camera. You’ll notice the kids were ready for him too. The one kid jumps up to stand between him and the girls right when he arrives.As for running to the cops over shit like this, they don’t give a rat’s ass, and you just end up looking like a an excitable little girl.
If he was grabbing them and trying to throw them into a van I’d do something. Waving around a camera in a bag with a hole cut in it, you laugh, just like those kids did.
Bob
“i’m an australian, you’re american. having a culture barrier is a pain..”
yeah, you were onto it. i was just being tired prick. sorry. i’m an australian, you’re american. having a culture barrier is a pain, but it’s 2010, so i’m not shitfighting. the culture barrier i speak of is the pacific ocean and the rest of the usa. you’re in NY. i’m six hours out of sydney.
NY is a very tough city. my mother has been there. she met some lovely cab drivers, tryin’ to get around. NY is probably 10 times the size of sydney. and you’re right, i chuckle easy.
Luke
4 1/2 years later
“I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot.Really, please, I hope you accept the apology.”
Go the beard, my brother. Suits you. I hope you are well.
Yeah, I know, the Luke Files. It’s very funny. I can appreciate it for the humorous value and that’s all that matters.
Things are going well for me, just in case you wondered. My recordings are still very indie, but the business with my daughter and her mother has pretty much ended. They recognise that alcohol had been taking its toll and that I was sick. I spend most days with them and cannot wait to see them, nor express my love for them.
This is a private letter, so I get to be at one with the universe and all its bullshit, but things have been wonderful. I hope you remember me. I also hope you forgive me for the insidious person you may have thought me to be. I have followed since 2004, Bob, if I may. I do think highly of you. I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Really, please, I hope you accept the apology.
The beard does suit you. Quite surprised. The 3D shades suited you, also. I remember you sent me a surprise birthday wish. Thank you very much. Deep down, I know you are a good man, often misunderstood, much like myself.
Truce already. Have a wonderfuk day.
Luke
[Luke’s last name and any other contact info have been removed from this page]