Category Archives: Atheism

Subjects pertaining to or of interest to atheists

Art, Blog, Freelance, Inna, Jesus Dressup, Portfolio

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Inna art
Portrait of Inna digitized in Adobe Illustrator

My ex messaged me last month saying, “I keep waiting for your annual ‘winter sucks and I’m lonely in this cruel city’ message, but none has come. Are you happier this year? I hope so.“
Well, I’m now officially in winter’s pattern. Wake up – Coffee – Starbucks – More coffee – Art – Go home – Finish art project – Sleep.

That’s it kids. That’s my life come winter. I mean, I know that’s not 100% the case, but Jesus Christ, it’s a difficult pattern for me to shake. Good news is though, I’ve been producing what I consider to be some of my best pieces. I’m proud of these portraits that’ve been coming out of me. Yesterday I finished this Inna Portrait (above), and I swear I went to sleep gazing at it (A selfishness I’ve allowed myself since I was a teen), and imagining myself waking up to 10,000+ Likes, an Inbox filled with emails congratulating on what a spectacular job I’ve done, and knocking on my door demanding sex. None of that happened of course, but it doesn’t slow down the desperate need I’ve got to draw. So instead I just send those emails to myself, and pound on my own door. There it is, as the ex requested.

Shaggy looked at me sketching Inna last week and said “What’s your obsession with Inna? How many times have you drawn her?” And I realize that posting this one the day before Valentine’s Day may seem like love, but it’s not. I mean, I do love Inna like a friend, but I am not harboring a deep seeded crush on the girl. I do think she’s an ideal subject. Her style is something that deserves to be drawn again and again. So Shaggy, including the little cartoons of her I’ve put on the Matchgame Postcard, the answer to that question is now officially 5.

Soo Catwoman art
Soo Catwoman digitized in Adobe Illustrator

I know I keep repeating myself with subjects. Inna for instance. Yolandi, of course. Also, Soo Catwoman. But for whatever reason I just have to draw these people again and again. Their aesthetics just please me so. And if Im sitting and drawing, I’m doing something good. In fact, I’m at my best. And that’s reason enough.

All of this too I hope will encourage inquiries about hiring my artistic talents. Yes, I am available for work. Now more than ever. After the holidays things slow down, and they usually don’t pick up again until Spring. So if you know of any jobs that pay for this level of drawing & Adobe Illustrator skills, please contact me. I’m really good! And worth every penny.

anglerfish art
Anglerfish digitized in Adobe Illustrator

Presently though I’m working through the disappointment looming on the horizon of not being able to afford printing Batman Jesus Dressup magnets. I thought I’d have enough after the holidays, but the holidays are over, and I’m coming up short. I’m hoping these next couple months I can get the necessary work and sales to solve it, but at the moment they must be put on hold. Do stories like this encourage sales & paying gigs to appear in my mailbox? I suppose this is exactly how I’ll find that out.

Latest art & photos with videos attached –

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BDSM Jesus, Star Wars Jesus

Goodbye Summer, Hello Holidays

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

I just received word that the cargo ship carrying my BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets has completed its journey across the Pacific Ocean, docked safely at the coast in City Of Industry, California, and its contents are now being loaded onto a truck to begin the long track across these United States to New Jersey, and then NYC. That means they will be here by Monday or Tuesday, so this is your last opportunity to purchase aforementioned magnets at the preorder, discount price of just $9. On the day that that truck arrives at my front step honking its horn, and I am lugging those 20 pound boxes up my staircase, that’s the same day put them back at their normal price of $15 each. There’s already been a few handfuls of these preorders made whose envelopes are postmarked and ready to fly out the door, so consider yourself fairly warned. Now’s the time to buy if BDSM Jesus has been on your or your dom’s wish list. I’m really looking forward to a thriving holiday season with these li’l demons back in stock.

Also, I have about 60 sets of the Star Wars Jesus Dressups left (just under two boxes – 40 per box). The same goes for the Jesus Christ Superstar sets (3 boxes) and the Original Jesus Dressups (2 boxes). Once these run out, that’s it. Especially the latter two, I have no plans in the near or distant future of producing again. There’s too many other versions I want to spend my time and money making, like Batman Jesus! 2015, I hope.

Purple haired Sketchgirl Nat
Sketchgirl Nat looking alien in her new goggles and purple hair

It’s October, and another unique year at the square is coming to a close. There’s been no shortage of Amazing Stranger drama there this year. So much so that I’ve had to take several weeks off just to regroup before throwing myself back into it! But now that I’ve got my head back together again, I’m wishing there were maybe a couple more months of that mayhem left before winter sets in. I’ve been pacifying myself by going through hundreds, probably thousands, of photos I’ve taken over the last decade and uploading my favorites to Reddit with dates & details. Most of these images have never before been published, so if you’re into the Union Square/NYC experience, these images will most likely fill that empty spot Humans Of New York can not. Which is also my point.

I’m sick of being an obscure reference. I have confidence enough in the content I’m churning out to have it seen by more than just a couple thousand views on Youtube! Some people are telling me I need to monotize my account (which I believe includes opening them up to bothersom ads), which in turn gets them into the YouTube promotion rotation. Others are demanding I get on Instagram (but I still only have a flip-phone) or the dozen other places there are for me to post my junk. I am happy to say though that the folks over at No Your City have made it clear they’re there for me. And more than a few different Amazing Strangers projects have been discussed, including the Union Square documentary of Union Square.

What else, what else? The production of a Jesus Dressup app is presently a mystery to me. I will let you know when I find out more.
I’m completely available for art projects. For Christ’s sake, hit me up!

 

Bob Smith USA, Magnets

Where I’ve Been

Since I seem to not be able to give you folks updates on any other section of the site, I’ll give it here.

First of all, I’m relieved to announce that the order for BDSM Jesus Dressup has been placed, and it’s expected to be here by October. I cut it so close raising the funds for these, but the BDSM Jesus has been the fastest selling version for me so far, and it’s the one the stores have been nagging me to get as soon as possible! My hope is that I can get over this Mohammed Dressup magnets mistake (I should have gotten the BDSM JDU ones done last year instead), then after the holidays, which I hope go well, invest in the Batman version next. Then, perhaps by next summer I’ll be able to get more of the Star Wars made (because those will be gone by Christmas), and get everything back to where I was a year ago. It’s been a struggle getting caught up since being forced to move in January. That took such a serious bite out of my budget, my energy, and inspiration. I’m really hoping to turn things around this Christmas.

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

The new BDSM version has been tweaked and slightly updated. I redrew Jesus’ submissive nurse outfit, and replaced his pig mask with a sheep’s because of the whole “Lamb Of God” thing. Short of that however, everyone who I asked seemed to think it couldn’t be improved upon. So if it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda. Have a look at the sample sets that arrived as of 8/13/14! (Product is in stock as of 10/10/14!)

I’m not fond of selling sets in advance, but in an effort to catch up from previously mentioned setbacks I’ve decided to offer a discounted price for anyone willing to wait for shipment until October (possibly November). When they do arrive they’ll be priced at 15 bucks a pop. But if you know you want it, and you’re willing to wait, you can get them now for just $9 (no quantity limit) plus shipping. I wouldn’t even post this offer if I didn’t get so many emails asking where, when, and how to get them. Now I have an answer.

Amazing Strangers has been lagging, I’m aware. We’re all well aware. We had such a strong spring, and now it’s come to this! I’m not even sure if I ever announced the latest page update. Last month there were two separate, very real threats of violence if certain videos didn’t get removed, and in addition to that, almost every single day for the last month and a half it’s been Volleyball.

Volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. It dominates pretty much everything else at the south end of Union Square. Ask anyone there and they’ll agree. Volleyball eclipses all that’s happening at the park. It’s altered the mojo. Add to that Roman moving away, Wendell & Signs rarely showing, there’s little I can do but sit and wait for something to happen. If the section of my site were called “Amazing Volleyball!” you’d be getting lots and lots of updates! But it’s not. And to me there’s very little that’s amazing about these strangers.

Remember Bob Smith USA? The movie by Neil Abramson about me and 6 other Bob Smiths? Well, earlier this month Neil granted me permission to post the full movie on my YouTube channel. I’m very excited for everyone to be able to see it now. I’m still very proud to’ve been part of that project, and to get that part of my life and the site documented for future generations. I strongly recommend it, and sharing it with your friends.

As for me and my personal life, I just turned 45. I think my vision is finally beginning to fail me. I’ve been single for far FAR too long, and everyone tells me it’s because I’m not on any dating sites. Is that true? Is that the only way now? Is that why everyone’s staring at their phones when they’re crossing the street? Did I lose touch because of my flip phone?
I’m beginning to think that guy who told me to “stop looking and it’ll come to me” gave me shit advice. Time to start peepin’!

Dressup, Magnets, Union Square

Last Day of March Recap

It’s been a long LONG horrible winter, but it seems to finally be ending. And even though it’s been pouring rain all weekend I can’t express enough what a relief even this wet and sunless 50 degree day was. Now, I’m sure any of you who’ve been regulars to the site for more than a couple years have noticed how things have slowed down here. Hate mail has ceased, everyone’s on their phones and the internet’s changed a thousand different ways in just the last 3 years. However that doesn’t mean I’ve gone away. Thankfully the Jesus magnets keep me in business, and it seems they might for the rest of my life. Let’s hope.

Unfortunately BDSM Jesus is completely sold out. The Jesus Christ Superstar set is almost gone (I think I have one or two more boxes of 40 left). And the Star Wars Jesus will surely disappear in 2014. I’d be getting more made immediately if my recent forced move hadn’t depleted all my holiday profits to the red. Believe me, as soon as I get it together I’ll be producing more, and I’d like to have the Batman ones by Christmas 2014, if you want them. Do you though?

“Batman WHAT?!?!” you say?! Yes! Batman Jesus is the latest of my JDU variations. I’m still up for additional costumes to the page if any of you Batman nerds out there have suggestions. Is there something obvious you think I’ve forgotten? Tell me about it! And before I get completely off the topic, if you know of a store in your area that’d possibly carry my product on their shelves, please tell me about that too.

Gigi Deluxe art
Gigi Deluxe in hitchhiking bikini digitized in Adobe Illustrator for dressup game

Other updates to the site – This winter I did a lot of drawing to maintain my sanity. So you can check out some of the sexy favorites I did in my portfolio, and everything else worth looking at is on Facebook, for now.

Also, you know that “Other” folder in your Facebook messages? The one you remember every couple years, and then when you do there’s shit there you wish you would’ve seen the year it was sent? Well, today I discovered another one of my hate mailers, Luke, sent an apology which appears to be one of his 12 Step requirements. I was actually touched, and I took off any and all personal information of Luke’s so you can see his email and he can move on. Sorry Luke that I didn’t get it sooner! Facebook really needs to ditch the Other folder. Does anyone really want their mailman guessing which letters are & aren’t important to us?

bitches don't know
“Bitches don’t get my style!” as he appears on the 2014 Matchgame Postcard

So a couple weeks ago I posted what I thought was a pretty average video of a guy we’ve all seen at the park swaggin’ around with a headset on for the last year or two. Then a couple days later, in the middle of the night, that video got 120,000 views on it! And now it’s up to 250,000 views, and I’m perplexed! I mean, I saw that it got on Reddit, and some other UK sites, then Gothamist picked it up after that, but in all truth I can’t wrap my head around why it’s such a big deal. I mean, Shaggy and I caught a guy shoplifting at Starbucks, and that video doesn’t even have 5,000 hits! And every time someone tries to explain it to me I STILL can’t fathom the craze! But perhaps you will. See for yourself.

Speaking of which, you know what else has been getting a lot of views seemingly out of nowhere? The Facebook page for Mohammed Dressup! Both Haters & Likers have been hittin’ it up, Liking and commenting on the wall… And that’s about it. No one’s buying the magnets as of yet, but I’ll take what I can get. There could be a point in the semi-near future where I conclude the Mohammed magnets are a complete bust and I’m the bonehead for thinking there’s an ex-Muslim subculture with internet access to appreciate them. Maybe they need a few more decades to see the humor in it all. All is not lost however. One of the few stores that carries them, Wacko on Hollywood Blvd just reordered another batch! So all is not lost. Isn’t “Draw Mohammed Day” coming up here in May? Maybe something can happen then?

As for everything else, the Amazing Strangers will be back at the Square soon enough.
I’m available for freelance work if you have art projects of almost any kind that you’d pay to have done.
Oh, and if you’re really a pro at coding, my dress up games need repairing! Firefox & Google Chrome did something to their browsers last October that deactivated the movable layers feature in my games. If you can figure out a fix besides the “use Safari instead” answer, I’ll pay for your services!

The fact that I still have any visitors to my site some 13 years later means a lot to me.
Your continued interest keeps it going. Now excuse me while I get ready to watch the latest episode of Cosmos.

Normal Bob Smith
bob@normalbob.com