Category Archives: Atheism

Subjects pertaining to or of interest to atheists

Bob Smith USA, Magnets

Where I’ve Been

Since I seem to not be able to give you folks updates on any other section of the site, I’ll give it here.

First of all, I’m relieved to announce that the order for BDSM Jesus Dressup has been placed, and it’s expected to be here by October. I cut it so close raising the funds for these, but the BDSM Jesus has been the fastest selling version for me so far, and it’s the one the stores have been nagging me to get as soon as possible! My hope is that I can get over this Mohammed Dressup magnets mistake (I should have gotten the BDSM JDU ones done last year instead), then after the holidays, which I hope go well, invest in the Batman version next. Then, perhaps by next summer I’ll be able to get more of the Star Wars made (because those will be gone by Christmas), and get everything back to where I was a year ago. It’s been a struggle getting caught up since being forced to move in January. That took such a serious bite out of my budget, my energy, and inspiration. I’m really hoping to turn things around this Christmas.

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

The new BDSM version has been tweaked and slightly updated. I redrew Jesus’ submissive nurse outfit, and replaced his pig mask with a sheep’s because of the whole “Lamb Of God” thing. Short of that however, everyone who I asked seemed to think it couldn’t be improved upon. So if it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda. Have a look at the sample sets that arrived as of 8/13/14! (Product is in stock as of 10/10/14!)

I’m not fond of selling sets in advance, but in an effort to catch up from previously mentioned setbacks I’ve decided to offer a discounted price for anyone willing to wait for shipment until October (possibly November). When they do arrive they’ll be priced at 15 bucks a pop. But if you know you want it, and you’re willing to wait, you can get them now for just $9 (no quantity limit) plus shipping. I wouldn’t even post this offer if I didn’t get so many emails asking where, when, and how to get them. Now I have an answer.

Amazing Strangers has been lagging, I’m aware. We’re all well aware. We had such a strong spring, and now it’s come to this! I’m not even sure if I ever announced the latest page update. Last month there were two separate, very real threats of violence if certain videos didn’t get removed, and in addition to that, almost every single day for the last month and a half it’s been Volleyball.

Volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. It dominates pretty much everything else at the south end of Union Square. Ask anyone there and they’ll agree. Volleyball eclipses all that’s happening at the park. It’s altered the mojo. Add to that Roman moving away, Wendell & Signs rarely showing, there’s little I can do but sit and wait for something to happen. If the section of my site were called “Amazing Volleyball!” you’d be getting lots and lots of updates! But it’s not. And to me there’s very little that’s amazing about these strangers.

Remember Bob Smith USA? The movie by Neil Abramson about me and 6 other Bob Smiths? Well, earlier this month Neil granted me permission to post the full movie on my YouTube channel. I’m very excited for everyone to be able to see it now. I’m still very proud to’ve been part of that project, and to get that part of my life and the site documented for future generations. I strongly recommend it, and sharing it with your friends.

As for me and my personal life, I just turned 45. I think my vision is finally beginning to fail me. I’ve been single for far FAR too long, and everyone tells me it’s because I’m not on any dating sites. Is that true? Is that the only way now? Is that why everyone’s staring at their phones when they’re crossing the street? Did I lose touch because of my flip phone?
I’m beginning to think that guy who told me to “stop looking and it’ll come to me” gave me shit advice. Time to start peepin’!

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Dressup, Magnets, Union Square

Last Day of March Recap

It’s been a long LONG horrible winter, but it seems to finally be ending. And even though it’s been pouring rain all weekend I can’t express enough what a relief even this wet and sunless 50 degree day was. Now, I’m sure any of you who’ve been regulars to the site for more than a couple years have noticed how things have slowed down here. Hate mail has ceased, everyone’s on their phones and the internet’s changed a thousand different ways in just the last 3 years. However that doesn’t mean I’ve gone away. Thankfully the Jesus magnets keep me in business, and it seems they might for the rest of my life. Let’s hope.

Unfortunately BDSM Jesus is completely sold out. The Jesus Christ Superstar set is almost gone (I think I have one or two more boxes of 40 left). And the Star Wars Jesus will surely disappear in 2014. I’d be getting more made immediately if my recent forced move hadn’t depleted all my holiday profits to the red. Believe me, as soon as I get it together I’ll be producing more, and I’d like to have the Batman ones by Christmas 2014, if you want them. Do you though?

“Batman WHAT?!?!” you say?! Yes! Batman Jesus is the latest of my JDU variations. I’m still up for additional costumes to the page if any of you Batman nerds out there have suggestions. Is there something obvious you think I’ve forgotten? Tell me about it! And before I get completely off the topic, if you know of a store in your area that’d possibly carry my product on their shelves, please tell me about that too.

Gigi Deluxe art
Gigi Deluxe in hitchhiking bikini digitized in Adobe Illustrator for dressup game

Other updates to the site – This winter I did a lot of drawing to maintain my sanity. So you can check out some of the sexy favorites I did in my portfolio, and everything else worth looking at is on Facebook, for now.

Also, you know that “Other” folder in your Facebook messages? The one you remember every couple years, and then when you do there’s shit there you wish you would’ve seen the year it was sent? Well, today I discovered another one of my hate mailers, Luke, sent an apology which appears to be one of his 12 Step requirements. I was actually touched, and I took off any and all personal information of Luke’s so you can see his email and he can move on. Sorry Luke that I didn’t get it sooner! Facebook really needs to ditch the Other folder. Does anyone really want their mailman guessing which letters are & aren’t important to us?

bitches don't know
“Bitches don’t get my style!” as he appears on the 2014 Matchgame Postcard

So a couple weeks ago I posted what I thought was a pretty average video of a guy we’ve all seen at the park swaggin’ around with a headset on for the last year or two. Then a couple days later, in the middle of the night, that video got 120,000 views on it! And now it’s up to 250,000 views, and I’m perplexed! I mean, I saw that it got on Reddit, and some other UK sites, then Gothamist picked it up after that, but in all truth I can’t wrap my head around why it’s such a big deal. I mean, Shaggy and I caught a guy shoplifting at Starbucks, and that video doesn’t even have 5,000 hits! And every time someone tries to explain it to me I STILL can’t fathom the craze! But perhaps you will. See for yourself.

Speaking of which, you know what else has been getting a lot of views seemingly out of nowhere? The Facebook page for Mohammed Dressup! Both Haters & Likers have been hittin’ it up, Liking and commenting on the wall… And that’s about it. No one’s buying the magnets as of yet, but I’ll take what I can get. There could be a point in the semi-near future where I conclude the Mohammed magnets are a complete bust and I’m the bonehead for thinking there’s an ex-Muslim subculture with internet access to appreciate them. Maybe they need a few more decades to see the humor in it all. All is not lost however. One of the few stores that carries them, Wacko on Hollywood Blvd just reordered another batch! So all is not lost. Isn’t “Draw Mohammed Day” coming up here in May? Maybe something can happen then?

As for everything else, the Amazing Strangers will be back at the Square soon enough.
I’m available for freelance work if you have art projects of almost any kind that you’d pay to have done.
Oh, and if you’re really a pro at coding, my dress up games need repairing! Firefox & Google Chrome did something to their browsers last October that deactivated the movable layers feature in my games. If you can figure out a fix besides the “use Safari instead” answer, I’ll pay for your services!

The fact that I still have any visitors to my site some 13 years later means a lot to me.
Your continued interest keeps it going. Now excuse me while I get ready to watch the latest episode of Cosmos.

Normal Bob Smith
bob@normalbob.com

Dressup, Magnets, Starbucks, Union Square, Year In Review

Moved

It’s been forever since I’ve updated, or have even done anything productive on the site. I have a good excuse though. A couple months ago I got word that the building I live in was sold, and everyone had to be out by January 15th. It was quite an interruption to any holiday spirit I might have had. It’s the place I’d been living for more than 7 years, and I had accumulated quite the stockpile of Jesus & Mohammed magnets. So the job ahead flashed before my eyes and all creativity ceased to be.

Anyhow, I’m completely moved into my new residence as of this week, and 2 tons of magnets (not an exaggeration) have been put into storage. Jesus God, I just did the math on that and I’m having trouble believing it myself. But I finally feel like I have a stable home base again. I’ve realized through this whole ordeal that having to move is my number one anxiety producing fear, beating out Death by a landslide. It goes hand in hand with my fear of landlords.

Brooklyn Club Kids
My first sighting of club kids in my neighborhood

Oh Christ, and I can’t tell you how much it stings being on the butt-end of NYC’s inside joke about “Hipsters being gentrified out of Bushwick by the incoming Generation Tween.” This is so very real. Some sort of trickling leak in the damn ruptured in 2013, and the flood seems to be dressed in outfits their parents got them for Christmas. I’m not talking about young wanna-be artists & hipsters. Looking poor & “not able to afford” is OUT! I think Occupy may have drained the life out of that fashion statement. What I’m talking about now is streams of young professionals hoisting bushels of shopping bags, with electronics coming out of every hole in their head trying to replicate something they’ve seen on “Girls” or “Sex In The City” or whatever the hit NYC based sitcom is at the moment. I haven’t got my thumb on it precisely yet, but if you’re next to me on the JMZ I’ve no problem pointing it out in great abundance. It’s really an embarrassment.

The holidays have completely depleted my stock of BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets. Those are SOLD OUT! While the Original version, Star Wars & Jesus Christ Superstar are all tied for 2nd. Those will be gone by Summer I predict, so be warned! I did however stumble across a couple boxes of the old 2006 version of Final Justice which have always been my favorite. So to celebrate self-love I’ve added those to the store until they’re gone too.

I know there’s an Amazing Strangers “Year In Review” owed to you. It is in the works. Shaggy has already given his rant on film. Now all that’s left is editing. I’m on it. [Click here for video] For the life of me I’m trying to figure out where the next creative burst is going to relieve itself on the site. I have some ideas, but only time will tell. Other than all that everything else has been fine. Magnet sales are always abundant through the holidays, and freelance jobs have been consistent and keeping me busy otherwise.

Thank you to all of you who continue to keep me in business despite my performance levels! You have not gone unnoticed.
Normal Bob

Dressup, Mohammed Dressup

Half Ton Tower of Mohammed

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Mohammed Dressup fridge magnets
Mohammed Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include the latest men’s fashions from Target & The GAP plus police uniform & kilt

To many this might seem pretty trivial, but this last week a big thing happened. I got Mohammed Dressup for sale in a physical store. And not just any store, but a store on Hollywood Blvd. One that’s been selling loads of my Jesus magnets for years.

I still have my obvious doubts as to how much they’ll actually sell. I’ve never thought there’d be any sort of mainstream interest in the general population to post Mohammed’s image on ones fridge door for a game of dressup. But I don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb stating that this may very well be the first Prophet Mohammed toy item to sit on a store shelf, like, ever. Am I being too bold?

The store is SoapPlant/Wacko, Hollywood CA, and maybe they’re just putting them out there as a “Who gives a fuck. If they sell they sell. If they don’t, then done” shot in the dark. But for me it’s huge. I hope that giving them a shout out for this isn’t sabotage of some sort. It’s hard for me to keep my cool in this case. It’s a big deal.

I’ve been kicking myself for ordering 2,000 of these motherfuckers earlier this year. I should have gone for 500, or 1,000 at MOST. Knowing what I know about the industry, and what I’d been rebutting on my hate mail pages for the last decade, I should’ve been more cautious. I’ve been saying since the first “I dare you to do Mohammed” email that they’re a tough sell. No one with a credit card gives a fuck about The Prophet, except for the shock-value. But no, here I go again getting all excited over another one of my drawings, spend too much money, and get myself in a predicament where 3 months later I’ve got literally a half ton of product (.5 lb per set) at my doorstep, the tower of which presently stands at the foot of my bed.

It started around 2005 or 06 when I posted the first playable Mohammed Dressup game online that included a burka, an Abu Garb blanket strung up with wires, Uncle Sam, and even a burning plane for him to crash! You’ve seen it. From the beginning of that one, I felt somewhere deep inside, despite the positive feedback, it wasn’t right. It was something I was not. It gave the wrong message somehow, and the feedback was confirming this. So I archived it and set out to try again last winter (2012/13).

The key to this thing, making this Mohammed joke, is it’s not THAT obvious. It does’t have to be chopping off his head with a butcher knife. The success of this image is that he’s beautiful. So beautiful in fact, that anyone not vowed to the Quran would clearly see he’s at least metrosexual. An image so flattering that objecting to it in any way, especially with threat of death, makes the point.

The shipment arrived and the challenge laid itself out before me. At first I could only sell them on the streets. During the course of normal conversation the topic of what I do would come about, and some would buy it off me then and there. One every couple weeks wasn’t going to cut it, obviously, so more needed to be done.

I talked about them in several interviews, but in each case my “Mohammed project” would be dropped out of the final print. This didn’t surprise me. It’s a thick bowl of soup many don’t want to dive into. I wrote some of my own articles. Funny ones, like opposing reasons to buy Mohammed Dressup. But who the fuck is going to respond with their money to a self-promoting blog?

I had an idea for the “Under the Counter” product promotion. It gave reasonable explanations, at least in my mind, as to why stores should consider carrying Mohammed under their counters. It was very sound, but again, it really wasn’t doing the trick. In fact it was probably making them even more paranoid.

If you saw this tower in my bedroom, maybe you’d understand the panic I go to sleep to each night. So when this order for a whole bunch of Jesus magnets, plus 12 Mohammeds arrived, I sighed a great relief.

This could be the end of the story. I’m not expecting the sky to fall, a Jihad, or even mention of it anywhere else but here. Which is why I write about it so thoroughly now.