Brian Jonestown, Carmon Electra & the 6′ 7″ Jew

So yesterday I went to Webster Hall to see The Brian Jonestown Massacre, which was a fun thing. I really do like that band. And I got to shout shit at the 6’7″ Rapping Jew. Yeah, the same one who hangs out at Union. He was at the show too. And Anton (of BJM) had him up on stage! I couldn’t believe it. He came out carrying the 6’7″ Rappin’ Jew’s sign that says “SIX FOOT SEVEN INCH RAPPING JEW WILL RAP FOR MONEY” The same one he’s been carrying around Union for the past few years. And I guess Anton thought is was unique and cute. Or maybe he was just fucking with the audience like he does. But so anyway he introduced the rapping Jew and he came out front and center and asked for suggestions on things to rap about. And while people shouted out things like “weed!” and “tits!” I was directly above the stage lerching over their heads, and I shouted my suggestion as loud as possibly as I could. Hands cupped around my mouth I yelled “UNION SQUARE SCUMBAG! UNION SQUARE SCUMBAG! UNION SQUARE SCUMBAG!!!” But he didn’t use my suggestion in his “rap” that went on for like 20 minutes.

Then on my way home last night, like midnight, I was headed towards the JMZ trains on Delancy in Soho and there was this camera crew aiming cameras down the sidewalk at me. And this director guy was saying to me “Act like we’re not filming you! Just walk normally! Just act normal!” And I did just that and turning to my right to walk down into the subway station up the steps comes Carmon Electra in hotpants and a bikini top looking all scared and shocked. And she even worked me into the “acting” looking at me, then trotting by me looking scared and shocked, while the director shouted “That’s great Carmon! Fantastic!” And I proceeded down into the station to the long train ride home.

She seemed about 4 and a half feet tall, 78 lbs, at most.

And I’m just about to start the last short story in JD Salinger’s “Nine Stories” (I was told the 9th one is the best) and I had a dream about what it was going to be last night. I dreamed that I had 4 friends (this was the story playing out with me as the lead), and we all got our shoes washed by this black janitor every day. We all gave him our shoes to wash, which he did so gratefully. Then a woman’s voice said “I love you, honey” and I realized that the story was an analogy, and I was the four friends, and the black janitor symbolized my true love who stayed with me despite being my servant, and I wept, and sang a song to her about my love and how grateful I was that she still loved me. I actually woke up this morning singing the song out loud.