Satan’s Salvation before May 21st? Let’s give it a shot…

It’s good to see good old Logical Satan back in true form challenging his arch nemesis Confused Christ.

My freethinkers group plan to party on Apocalypse Eve so we can watch all the Christian babes transcend to heaven in the rapture – in the nude. We are betting clothes will stay behind so we will be getting plenty of ogling time in, not to mention the photos we will take.

The photographs are for a new magazine we will be publishing after the Apocalypse – “Sure You Are Left Behind; But Look At All These Pictures of Naked Christians!”

The Christians I know think those left behind will be “tearing at our garments and gnashing our teeth” (what a pathetic patois). I don’t have the heart to tell them of the plans of non-Christians everywhere:

1) First we will celebrate the end of the hateful noise Christians make testifying, proselytizing and condemning.

2) Children will be taught logical and scientific truths in public schools instead of the shit bag full of cruel oppressive myths that is religion.

3) Peace will reign across the land. No one will believe they need to kill their fellow man because some prehistoric myths do not match up. There will be no need to kill over a long ago and vague myth declared a patch of ground “holy.”

4) All sexes (gay, male, bi-sexual, eunuchs, lesbians, female, hermaphrodite and trans-sexual) will be equal not only in law, but in thought.

5) We will be able to celebrate our various cultural holidays without the harping of Christians about their made up “war on Christmas.”

6) Children will no longer be mentally abused by stories of a ‘hell’ where they will ‘burn forever’ that they will probably not escape because “we are all sinners” and no matter how hard they try, they will never be good enough for Yahweh.

7) Consenting adults will be able to whatever they want as long as they “harm none.”

8) Bibles will be quietly removed from the ‘Religious’ section of the library and placed in the ‘Myth’ section along with the Roman and Greek Pantheons. The bible will be treated as an interesting, but in no way accurate, set of myths that describe how ancient humans viewed the world without the benefit of science.

9) The incredibly stupid and cruel killing of so-called witches (children and women without wealth & power), will STOP! Those evangelicals who supported their counterparts in these African crimes should know themselves to be lucky they evaporated in the rapture. Any evangelicals left will be arrested & tried and their punishment will be the worst of the torture & killing that was visited on the innocent women and children in Africa.

10) Atheists and other freethinkers can now go about their lives in the same moral and ethical manner they did before the vacuuming of Christian dirt by Yahweh. The remaining ‘bad’ Christians will be surprised that civilization not only remains steady after the evaporation, but gets much, much better. Integrity, honor, love of fellow humans and animals and justice dictated by the situation rule the land.

Alas, I know this to be only a pleasant fantasy. The day after THIS apocalypse is supposed to happen, the same religulous〆 who predicted it will have the usual excuses as to why it did not come about.

The apologists have plenty of documents to lift ideas from, after all the apocalypse has been predicted over 200 times since 2800 BCE (see http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm)

Even Jesus got into the end of the world act (so the myth goes) when he declared: (Matt-24:34) “Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled” – e.g., his return.

So don’t get your hopes up. We will still be living in a world where Christians act like the nasty incests they are. Forever buzzing in our ears, leaving filth and disease wherever they go.

( 〆Religulous ⟿ The ridiculous character of so many religious beliefs. Also describes those who promulgate such ridiculous believes. Coined by Bill Maher in his movie of the same name.

The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in all humans because a women made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake in a magical garden to eat the fruit from a magical tree, which made an invisible man who lives in the sky very angry, appears to be an extraordinarily religulous superstition.)

2 thoughts on “Satan’s Salvation before May 21st? Let’s give it a shot…”

Gilgamesh says:

April 20, 2011 at 5:11 pm

It’s good to see good old Logical Satan back in true form challenging his arch nemesis Confused Christ.

My freethinkers group plan to party on Apocalypse Eve so we can watch all the Christian babes transcend to heaven in the rapture – in the nude. We are betting clothes will stay behind so we will be getting plenty of ogling time in, not to mention the photos we will take.

The photographs are for a new magazine we will be publishing after the Apocalypse – “Sure You Are Left Behind; But Look At All These Pictures of Naked Christians!”

The Christians I know think those left behind will be “tearing at our garments and gnashing our teeth” (what a pathetic patois). I don’t have the heart to tell them of the plans of non-Christians everywhere:

1) First we will celebrate the end of the hateful noise Christians make testifying, proselytizing and condemning.

2) Children will be taught logical and scientific truths in public schools instead of the shit bag full of cruel oppressive myths that is religion.

3) Peace will reign across the land. No one will believe they need to kill their fellow man because some prehistoric myths do not match up. There will be no need to kill over a long ago and vague myth declared a patch of ground “holy.”

4) All sexes (gay, male, bi-sexual, eunuchs, lesbians, female, hermaphrodite and trans-sexual) will be equal not only in law, but in thought.

5) We will be able to celebrate our various cultural holidays without the harping of Christians about their made up “war on Christmas.”

6) Children will no longer be mentally abused by stories of a ‘hell’ where they will ‘burn forever’ that they will probably not escape because “we are all sinners” and no matter how hard they try, they will never be good enough for Yahweh.

7) Consenting adults will be able to whatever they want as long as they “harm none.”

8) Bibles will be quietly removed from the ‘Religious’ section of the library and placed in the ‘Myth’ section along with the Roman and Greek Pantheons. The bible will be treated as an interesting, but in no way accurate, set of myths that describe how ancient humans viewed the world without the benefit of science.

9) The incredibly stupid and cruel killing of so-called witches (children and women without wealth & power), will STOP! Those evangelicals who supported their counterparts in these African crimes should know themselves to be lucky they evaporated in the rapture. Any evangelicals left will be arrested & tried and their punishment will be the worst of the torture & killing that was visited on the innocent women and children in Africa.

10) Atheists and other freethinkers can now go about their lives in the same moral and ethical manner they did before the vacuuming of Christian dirt by Yahweh. The remaining ‘bad’ Christians will be surprised that civilization not only remains steady after the evaporation, but gets much, much better. Integrity, honor, love of fellow humans and animals and justice dictated by the situation rule the land.

Alas, I know this to be only a pleasant fantasy. The day after THIS apocalypse is supposed to happen, the same religulous〆 who predicted it will have the usual excuses as to why it did not come about.

The apologists have plenty of documents to lift ideas from, after all the apocalypse has been predicted over 200 times since 2800 BCE (see http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm)

Even Jesus got into the end of the world act (so the myth goes) when he declared: (Matt-24:34) “Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled” – e.g., his return.

So don’t get your hopes up. We will still be living in a world where Christians act like the nasty incests they are. Forever buzzing in our ears, leaving filth and disease wherever they go.

( 〆Religulous ⟿ The ridiculous character of so many religious beliefs. Also describes those who promulgate such ridiculous believes. Coined by Bill Maher in his movie of the same name.

The belief that a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in all humans because a women made from a rib was convinced by a talking snake in a magical garden to eat the fruit from a magical tree, which made an invisible man who lives in the sky very angry, appears to be an extraordinarily religulous superstition.)
yep says:

May 7, 2011 at 5:50 am

just want 2 say I love u man! Sent u an email a few years ago! Wuz drunk then, as am now! It s wuz under fortressmaximus72454@yahoo.com. Dosnt exist anymore, but ive been following you 4 a while. B 4 texting i know! Dont have internet n e more, ripping that off my neighbor with my playstation 3 now. Wish I could find my old email that I sent u, would probably b embarrassed! Been having bad dreams lately. War,cancer,spiders, weird shit! N e way,hit me back. I’ve had May 21st marked on my calander 4 a while now. SHEMHAMFORASH!! HAIL SATAN!!