All posts by Normal Bob

Artist, Atheist, Anthropologist http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/26/nyregion/26union.html?_r=2&

The Rodney Dream

I’d like to introduce you to Rebekah. A while back she sent me letters explaining how bothered she was about the things I’d done and said about Jesus. After a full back & forth (The Rebekah Knight Files) where I compared Jesus to a clay skull worshiped blindly by cults, I received another correspondence from her where she described a dream she’d just had about me, and Jesus, and God. Being the snarky cartoonist that I am, I could not help but illustrate that dream for her. This is how all of that went.

Rebekah Knight 2008
Rebekah Knight 2008

Hi Bob,
I wonder if you remember me, I am one of the people in your so called ‘hate mail’ section. (although there was no hate in me in my correspondence to you) ;0)

I wrote to you quite some time ago, and we had a few conversations. I felt then that God had spoken to me that you would have a saul experience, where by God came and showed himself to Saul, (who was at the time a man who persecuted christians) Made Saul blind for three days, and when he was restored, he was told to go and preach the gospel of Christ. He was renamed Paul.
Recently someone wrote to me and reminded me of our conversations, I often think of you from time to time, This morning I was in a spiritual vision with Jesus and he showed me you. For some reason he named you Rodney, which comes from the word Hroda, a Germanic name meaning “fame”.

The Dream

Rodney Dream frame 1

You were dressed as Satan with red face paint on and horns and you stood before Jesus feeling a little silly, as he gently washed off the paint. He was very kind and gentle with you. Then he started to do a work on you, I saw him replace your heart and breathe new life into you.

 

 

Rodney Dream frame 2He kept pounding you with waves of his power, 3 times, he got you to stand but you fell, again he lifted you, but you fell, then he shouted into your inner most being “ARISE!!!! I AM ALIVE!!!!!!” it was as if all power in heaven and earth shook when he shouted those words.

Rodney Dream frame 3

You arose, strong and tall then you flopped into a throne like chair.

Rodney Dream frame 4

Jesus walked over to a skull that was placed on a rock, he brought it to you, he put it in your face and said to you, “I am not this, am I?”

Rodney Dream frame 5

You shook your head. “This”, he said throwing the skull down, “is YOU!” At these words the skull crumbled and turned to dust.

Rodney Dream frame 6

…at which he said “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust… I am not dead am I? I am very much alive!”

Rodney Dream frame 7

You sat in silence as he spoke. You knew the truth of which he spoke, but your pride did not want to acknowledge the truth.. You said to him, “But what about my powers? What about my Fame? I cant just let go of all that!”

Rodney Dream frame 8O.K” said Jesus in reply, then he threw you on the floor… you appeared to be having a fight.

Rodney Dream frame 9

I stood in shock as I had not seen this side of Jesus before, I asked Jesus what he was doing to you? Why were you fighting?

He replied, “His heart is far from me…” With these words a cross appeared on the floor and God himself came and lay you on it… He had tied your hands and your feet and he drew his arms as if to strike you, you cried out, O.K!

Rodney Dream frame 10

With that Jesus stood between you and God and prevented the judgement of God from killing you, (Jesus has taken your place on that cross) Only if we believe in him, that he is the son of God, that he died and rose again, will we be saved.

I then saw a reluctant you, lie down and then something happened, you went back in time as you just lay, to a time as a little boy…. Jesus was by your side and he was in the chair next to your bed, he was watching over you as a little boy and you felt safe, he leaned forward, filled with paternal love for you and kissed your cheek.

Rodney Dream, frame 11

At this you reached out your hand and hugged him, he embraced you and I saw you become one in love, like a loving parent and child.
I believe that Jesus still wants and is constantly trying to get your attention, he is a loving God, and will stop at nothing to regain you as his child. Your heart has grown cold and hardened toward his love, but he will eventually seek you and find you. I believe this with all my heart.

Hope this letter finds you well,
Love and blessings.
Rebekah.
myspace.com/
beddyboodles
* * * * * *
The next day after viewing my illustrations I heard back from Rebekah:

Rebekah Knight 2008
Rebekah Knight 2008

“I love it!! funny how you seemed to capture it so well..same perspective as I saw it almost every time!
much love
xxxxxRebekah Knight”

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Normal Bob Declared Military Target

Islamic Organization declares Normal Bob a Military Target

“we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC.”

Subject: Your satanic website

Date: Aug. 14th, 2008

Mr. “Normal” Bob: We want say you that we dont take care about that you make a joke an ridiculize the prophet Jesus of Nazareth, but making a joke and make an offensive comic of Our Prophet Muhammad is a Big Sin and a offense to Allah, the Unique God. Because we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC. Your days over earth will finish soon.

Vladimir Balza

vladbalza@hotmail.com

I’m not sure if it makes any difference but just for the record, in my beliefs it’s not a “Big Sin” to mock Muhammad. I realize that you wrote me your death threat without any details of my “religion” so I’ll allow you to retract your military threat now that you understand its no offense to me.Sorry for the confusion, but seriously, you can’t expect everyone in the world to believe all the same things you believe, otherwise that’d make us all the same religion, and who’d want a whole world of militant Islamic Fundamentalists? Allah? I don’t think so.Thank you for the email, and sorry about the misunderstanding. You can stop targeting me now.

Bob

An offense can not be retracted

Sorry, Mr. Bob. An offense can not be retracted, neither the consecuenses. Is not a threat, your sin will be punished. Allah forgive you.

Vladimir Balza

vladbalza@hotmail.com

Well, shit. Then I might as well just keep the site up and mock Muhammad ’til my “earth days are over,” huh?

Thank you for all the advanced warnings, and plan updates. Keep me in the loop.

Bob

Klaus Grantig to cut off my Crazy Monkey Head!

Remember back when I first posted Mohammed Dressup like almost a year ago and no one, and I mean NO ONE cared? Well now someone freakin’ cares! Enough to telephone his brothers in Islam and tell them to come hunt me down and slice off my crazy monkey head! And thus begins the much anticipated –
Crazy Islamic Fundamentalist Terrorist Death Threats

The Klaus Grantig files

“we will cut your head you crazy monkey”

Subject: Fuck you

We will kill you you motherfucker, we will cut your head you crazy monkey. down with amerika, down with all amerikans.

we hunt you and we will find you. be sure you animal, that we have the power to find you. my brothers in islam are ready to cut your head. i hope we can kill a lot of amerikans around the world, for your homepage must be pay al lot of amerikans and you are guilty mothertfucker.

Klaus Grantig

reformator1@web.de

Klaus,
First of all, thank you for the email. Perhaps you are open to a reasonable discussion on the matter before you and your brothers in Islam waste much energy hunting me down to cut off my crazed monkey head? You see, I fail to see how beheading everyone who disagrees with you will help your cause. Had you not considered that such actions will only condone similar actions from those who disagree with you, thus leading to the beheading of you and your Islamic brothers and brother-inlaws? And honestly, I don’t think the Great Allah would want that.I can see that you feel quite strongly about this but I hope you can set aside your fundamentalist beliefs for just a minute and see this from my viewpoint. Having my head sawed off does concern me, but I also know that nothing gets solved if everyone’s walkin’ around without their heads! lol!

Mortal enemies to the end? Or, perhaps, mortal frenemies?

Bob

“we will dress you with the skin of your daughter”

i dont like to open a discussion with you. your job is to make jokes about my lovely prophet, the last messenger of god.

we now the enemys of god and the prophet of islam. dont tell me any stories of your rights to open this very bad homepage against muslim worldwide.

i will send messages to my brothers in islam, that you have open a war against our prophet, we will dress you with the skin of your daughter or son, believe me. you have open the war und you have to pay fo the beginning of the War!

Klaus Grantig

reformator1@web.de

Klaus Grantig,Hey, I have a brilliant observation for you. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe the reason you’re all so grumpy and sawing people’s heads off all the time is because you’ve got such a grumpy, poopy religion? Maybe if for just a minute you stopped makin’ everything that happened to your prophet such a priority and worried a little bit more about Klaus’s needs you just might find a daisy growin’ in all those weeds? I bet you would!

Now I’m gonna give you a chance to apologize for sayin’ you’d dress me up in the skins of my children so that instead we can set an example for them. It’s time we show ‘em how two adults can discuss their differences maturely without having to turn the white babies inside-out and drape the father in their bloody hides.

I’m waiting! And you better sound like you mean it!

Bob

“i apologize me for nothing you dirty kafir.”

fuck you and all the amerikans you stupid guy and ashole!!! its time we destroy people like you. its better you motherfucker you cloth your homepage and you jump from the next bridge, you are sick, you are dirty, you are crazy!!!!!

down with amerika amerika makes the people sick i apologize me for nothing you dirty kafir. im waiting. and its better you will cloth your dirty homepage motherfucker

Klaus Grantig

reformator1@web.de

No apology? *sigh!* Everyone’s gotta be so difficult.I guess two hafta play at this game. I suppose now I gotta go look for my saw, and find where I put my black hood and come over there, find you and your freakin’ children, skin them, drape you in their flesh, and then saw off your head in retaliation. Yeesh! What a mess this’ll make. I’m gonna have to pack two butcher’s aprons now! Happy?!?

Christ, now what? Oh yeah – We Americans need to destroy you pig dogs. *yawn* I hope you die, and hurt, and cramp you dirty stupid guy. And loads of exclamation points to drive my descriptions even deeper into your psyche –>> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rot, sick, die, fart, fire, explosion, warm beer, tooth decay and an aqua prom dress.

The apocalypse is near. I shall inform my American brethren of your filthy toilet mouth and tell them it is we who’ve actually got the real last messenger of God, and he’s twice as lovely as yours. So, nya!

Bob

“I hope you have millions of 9/11!!!!”

you can do nothing dog of the devil!

my brohers in islam will kill slowly more shit americans in irak! I hope you have millions of 9/11!!!!

i wait of you ashole son of a dirty mother. we muslims ar laughing obout stupid guys like you. be sure, one day you stand up peacefull, leave the house and then someones cut your head quickly and full of pain. fuck all amerikans, fuck your dirty culture. white men we will catch you and than you have a lot of painfull moments dirty kafir, go to hell. we are behiond you ashole. we find you and we kill you so terrible!!!!!!!

Klaus Grantig

reformator1@web.de

Christ, it’s official then. I’m comin’ over there to avenge my 9/11 American brotherhood with the edge of a blade and the black of my heart. All of Islam will bow before our great monkey armies and your heads shall be lifted from your shoulders at the point of our spears to block out the Middle Eastern sun. Your doggies and kittens will be split in two and their blood will run purple in the streets, ankle deep, and about 22.7 meters across.Does this sort of talk really scare you people into submission?
Honestly, that’s kinda freakin’ adorable.

Bob

Hate mail, from Peepers!

This week’s hate mail is dedicated to the peepers and peeper defenders, and accusers who seem to just hate me! Never fear. There’ll be more Christian hate mail on the next pages, but for now a refreshing dose of Peeper hate mail!

I make contact with a Peeper!!

So it finally happened! The unbelievable has come true, and I didn’t waste the opportunity to say what had to be said. On Sunday the 6th of July the same peeper who approached me a week earlier sat down, shook my hand and started a conversation with yours truly!

“No, but you see, this is what I do! I take pictures of peepers, which is what you are. Aren’t you? You like to stand and stare up girls’ skirts at their panties, right?”

The Bravest Peeper sat down next to me on the steps with his squinty, fake-confidence smile and attempted to come off as a someone not to reckon with, but willing to reason this thing out with me. Let me say that I was so excited when he sat down! And I let him start the discussion, which he did.

“I.. want you to… no post my picture on the internets…”

Now mind you, when he spoke it was quiet, always with that nervous smile, exactly like a weakling pretending to be a threat.

“I want you to not take my pictures no more… to not post me… and what I do…. and you don’t post… ok?”

My enthusiastic response was, “No, but you see, this is what I do! I take pictures of peepers, which is what you are. Aren’t you? You like to stand and stare up girls’ skirts at their panties, right?”

It was so obvious that he was completely overwhelmed by my willingness to take part in an extensive discussion on the topic. I’m sure more than 50% of what I said was completely over his head, but he definitely knew where I was coming from.

“The girls…. they like to be…” and he’d motion at his own crotch insinuating that what they did was on purpose. “They like it. heh heh”

There were two girls sitting on the other side of me listening in , and I was making it easy for them to do so by speaking loudly to him and using complete sentences that included his own words and point of view.

“So you think girls like being peeped? Like even when they’re pushing their skirt between their legs and then getting up and leaving the park? You think the girls are turned on by your creep stare?” And the girls next to me shouted “Oh no we don’t!”

One of his general responses was a simple shrug of the shoulders and half smile.

Another interesting thing that happened is one of the baby scenesters saw what was going on and ran over and brought two girl baby scenesters over to witness what was happening. They sat down too, and pretty soon there was a tiny audience there watching this priceless exchange.

Bravest Peeper also suggested to me as he did in our previous exchange that “maybe… you enjoy taking pictures of boys at the park” motioning his arm around and giggling a little like he had me, and the accusation was his trump card.

“maybe… you enjoy taking pictures of boys at the park”

“Haha! So you think someone’s gotta be gay if they’re not spending all their free time at the park staring up skirts for 20, 30, 40 minutes at a time?”

He shrugged with that smile again.

“Oh, I have a question! Had you ever thought that maybe guys who don’t rape girls against their will might also be homosexuals?” I looked around the park suspiciously at all the closeted gays.

He shrugged with a smile again, and the girls next to me were riveted.

He also said to me “iss my problem if I get caught, or if police catch me… thas my pro-blem.. not yourss.. not yourss business…”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll get arrested. It’s not against the law what you’re doing!” I stated all this quite loudly. “What you’re doing, peeping up girls’ skirts at the park, isn’t illegal. What you’re doing is just deviant behavior, and it’s societles responsibility to manage you people. And that’s where I come in!”

I knew he was barely following anything I was saying, but he definitely understood that I was gonna be a complete jackass about this situation, and his hopes and dreams of free peeping were slowly being pulled out from under him.

He held out his had to stop me and said again “I wants you to stop taking my pictures… thas all. Just stop…Okays?”

I sat there and seriously tried to picture me stopping. I replied “I have to be honest. I do not see me stopping taking pictures of you peepers in the park at all. In fact, I think the only hope you have of getting me to stop is coming up to me one of these days, putting up your fists” I gave him a visual of what I was speaking of by putting up my fists much like those old vintage boxers posed with their arms at right angles putting up their dukes, “and saying to me ‘You’re still putting my pictures on the internets, now I’m gonna fight you.’ and fighting me to see he wins, and then seeing what happens from there. I think that’s your only hope to keep me from what I’m doing here with you peepers. You know?”

Then I started calling over people who were strolling by and poling them on whether or not they thought girls like being peeped, while pointing out that he was a peeper and thought it was something girls get off .. a while of my smart-alekness and gathering a crowd around to partake in the discussion he finally just got up, said “goodbye” and walked quickly away.

Twice since then when I’ve come to Union Square he’s turned and left the park immediately.

And that’s how it went down.

Fun huh??)