Can I mention how one thing piles onto another, and then another and another until there’s too much in just one day? Electricity going out again, and just after it went out a week before and blew out my surge protector and my desktop computer, and now it’s out again and has probably repeated the tragedy this afternoon, and I have a roommate who refuses to pay rent but stays anyhow and thinks that for some reason she’s entitled to a rent free life because it seems fair? Not sure the logic on that, because there is no logic with her. I mean him. I mean fuck. It’s like living with the Grim Reaper.
Can I stress to you how not ever getting laid compounds the matter ten fold? Bob said he will throw himself off the Stanton Island Ferry when no one wants to have sex with him anymore like Spaulding Grey. I can see that. And in the same breath he tells me I should be getting laid every night according to what he sees on the site. That’s what everyone says. I have my excuses.
Alt is dead, and it’s been a consistent source of relaxation and family for me while my home is being held hostage by the crazy-no-rent-payer. Alt has been my office, family, and function. Everything is going away. TLA and ALT both dead.
And my head is getting worse, unable to let go of the hang-ups and move forward with the art. My perception of love is tilting off balance with each loveless day. If you let too many crazy people surround you they will try and spin you dizzy.
Not having the steady love of a lovely takes its toll.
But the future looks bright.
There’s just no light tonight.