In case you were wondering, now if you have your bag stolen at Starbucks in Manhattan the cops rope off the tables with “POLICE LINE DO NOT CROSS” tape, tell people to leave the tables in the area, and several officers show up to take care of the situation and secure the area. Don’t believe me? Here’s a picture! ––
It’s happening right now. No, don’t worry everybody! I’m all right. I wasn’t hurt or anything! I guess maybe someone got there laptop ripped off or something. But the funny thing is, it’s two NYU students who got ripped off (duh), and the guy is using a crutch (guess that could be a reason he was a target/can’t chase). What’s even better is I’ve seen junkies get carried out of here on stretchers and they didn’t waste an inch of police tape on that shit. Hell, I think they even had a half-price-coffee party after that.
Oh yeah, as you can see in that picture I’m working on the new magnets. They’re gonna be the coolest thing yet. No joke. I got both Mansons, Hitler, the KKK, Osama, even Freddy Kruger on the goddamn thing. You ain’t never seen any shit like this before, and you’ll never see it again, so hold your fuckin’ breath. This is black market, back alley crimes right here. The shit’s gonna hit the fan when these get out there, and when it does I’ll be ready.
They’re actually closing this place down because of that stolen bag! Christ. Unbelievable.
