The Jesus Dressapp

UPDATE: Sept 25, 2016 – The Jesus Dressapp has been deleted from Google play, but is available, uncensored here at Evil Apps.

Jesus Dressup crownhanger logoIt’s here at last! The Jesus Dressapp for Android. But not without it’s share of drama… Already!
This is actually the 2nd version of this particular design posted within the last 48 hours. The first one removed for being too sexy explicit with the BDSM clothes. Those have now been removed. (btw, if you downloaded that first version you can still download the new one without disrupting the one you have. You’ll just have 2 versions on your phone.)

Jesus Dressup App for Droid samples
Jesus Dressup App for Droid samples

Anyone who’s followed the Jesus Dressup app story for the last 6+ years has witnessed the constant struggle to get it & keep it available to the public. And there’s a story to go with each desperate attempt made.

Jesus Dressapp Attempt #1

Apple FAIL image

The first big attempt was in 2010. A fan of the site from Scotland came to visit at Union Square. He offered to make the app for iPhone. He’d mentioned it when we met, hung out a few days without talking much more about it. Then I happened to be walking by him on Astor Place the day he was flying back home and he shouted from the distance, “Do you still want me to make that iPhone app for you?”

“Sure! Go for it! Just put a link to the fridge magnets on it and it’ll be worth it to me!” I shouted back.

Knowing it was a lot of work to make, in haste I said, “If you can put a link to my store on it it’s yours to do whatever you want with!” Or something of that nature.

Many months passed and I had already forgotten about it. Then low and behold he messages telling me it’s done and ready to go. I was impressed.

The next step was getting it approved by Apple itself, which much to my surprise they did! We were both visibly shocked and excited.  Unfortunately, the other thing I was quick to find out was he’d made the Apple account entirely under his name, and all purchases of the app were going to him. I’d been shut out of it completely. And there wasn’t even a link on it to promote the magnets I sell.

I called him and explained how this wasn’t an acceptable setup. He immediately got defensive, saying “You said I could have it if I made it!”
After several more minutes of angry words I told him if he doesn’t change the situation fast I would contact Apple and tell them he’d stolen my product and have them take it down. He yelled back at me “Fine! I’m taking it down myself!” And hung up on me. It was removed seconds later.
Then this guy from Krapps emailed me wanting the full story…

Jesus Dressapp removed banner

Jesus Dressapp Attempt #2

Attempt #2 happened about a year later (2011). Inspired by the acceptance by Apple from the previous attempt I started asking around for possible programmers. Having an iPhone App appeared to be a venture that could be quite lucrative. This time I’d pay someone to make it again, and I could have full control, beginning to end.

Union Skaters w/jesus dressup flyer
David, Shiva, Greg & Tom burning a hole through Jesus Dressup flyer

A friend of mine from Union Square, one of the skateboard kids I’d known since he was 15, was now going to school for programming. He was happy to figure out how to make an iPhone app while getting paid. It took the better part of winter 2010/11 and a lot of headaches, but after several months we had our iPhone App ready to go. We submitted it to Apple, and about a week later they rejected it. I tried to appeal the rejection but they didn’t care. I belly ached to them how they approved it a year earlier when it wasn’t me who submitted it, but they stood firm. “Too controversial.”
It was spirit-breaking.

In an amusing side note, below is the image they sent us with the rejection letter. And yes, someone on their end had to dress him up like that before concluding it was too offensive for Apple.

March 14, 2011 image included in denial email after contending the Apple app rejection.
March 14, 2011 image included in denial email after contending the Apple app rejection.

Anyhow, this particular rejection really took the wind out of my sails for a Jesus Dressup app any time in the near future. Having it approved for the guy who stole it, and rejected after putting so much time and money into it was the deathblow. Tom and I parted ways, and I didn’t feel like getting into app making ever again.

Jesus Dressapp Attempt #3

Then in 2013 I was contacted by a Facebook friend who said he wanted to make the Jesus Dressup app for Android. Let me say that he was making a very generous offer of doing it for no charge for the experience, and credit on the app itself. I warned him of the troubles in the past, the difficulty & time involved in making it, and the very real fact that it’s probably not worth it financially for either party involved. Still, he offered to do it while in school, for no pay.

A year later the progress had been minimal and I realized again, it was way too big a job to be worth doing at all. I seriously don’t know how making these free apps is worth it for anyone.

Jesus Dressapp Attempt #4

Finally earlier this year, around March, I was contacted by another Jesus Dressup fan, Mirko Bonasorta from Italy, offering to make the app for Droid as long as he could get named credit. I did the usual “It’s a bigger job than you think, and afterwards it’ll be rejected for being offensive” speech. But as long as his name could be credited for making it he was willing to give it a shot, no charge. He sent me video of how it’d play, and several months later it was done. That was last week.

Less than 24 hours later it was deleted from Google Play for being too sexually explicit. So we removed the BDSM option, and just in case we also removed the Nazi stuff from the Final Justice version, and now it’s back up. And that is where we stand.

Playthrough of the 2016 Jesus Dressapp for Android

It has almost every version of Jesus Dressup I’ve ever made included, it’s FREE, and it even has a link to my fridge magnets in it!
I have an iPhone so I haven’t played it yet, but after watching the play-through (above) I really wish I had a Droid instead. And the reviews it’s getting are astounding!

Jesus Dressapp Batman screenshot

“Even more fun in app form!”

“I have the magnet set, but now it’s on my PHONE! No more carrying my refrigerator around wherever I go”

“Hilarious”

Even more fun on app form. I love the magnets so the app is even better! I love the villains option, it’s my favorite! Easy to use and fun.”

“Instant classic. Brilliant”

So race to Play Google, download it before it’s deleted again, pass the link onto friends and write a nice review before I’m writing about the Jesus Dressapp 5th Attempt!
Just click on the link below. And if that one’s been deleted you can always get the completely uncensored one here at Evil Apps.

Jesus Dressapp for Droid on Google Play

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