Category Archives: News

I’M NUMBER 1!!!

Current mood: Superior

That’s right. I’m number one on a Google search for Jesus. And of course the greatest part of it all is being more popular than any Christian website, anywhere, for anyone wanting to know more about the word “Jesus.”

We win! Right?

FacebookTwitterRedditShare

Creating Final Justice Jesus

Current mood: crazy

Okay, I have a problem. I am obsessed with the new JDU. Seriously, I haven’t felt this since the first time I drew the goddamn thing 15 years ago. I am getting off on the hideous creations that come from combining the outfits. Like, right now I got JC in the stockings, clown shoes, Hitler jacket, Darth gloves, Charlie Manson wig, Hannibal mask, and Tinky Winky head over top of it all, and it’s fucking crazy shit. I mean fucking terrifying! Like I’ve never seen scarier shit than this comin’ at me in my darkest moments.

Then strap the fucking bomb to it and I’m lookin’ over my shoulder thinking the CIA is gonna spy this shit and follow me home. Then, just do this… take off the Hitler jacket. That’s it! Fucking crazy, right?

Oh my god. I’m going fucking mental here. I gotta solve this thing, whatever it is.

Okay, new costume. And this one is so basic. ready? The NAMBLA shirt, Hannibal mask, hitler hat, clown shoes & gloves. That’s it. Makes my heart fucking pound in terror. Try and tell me your heart wouldn’t jump right out of your chest if that Jesus was comin’ at ya in an alley. That fucking perverted creep, in those tighty whities. MOTHER FUCKER!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! And strap a bomb to this shit and it’s a whole new fucking monster. NAMBLA man, with a fucking bomb strapped on. That’s fuckin’ killer sharks on crack mother fucker!

But you wanna know the real deal? Do you wanna see something real and something fucking scary? Gacy clown suit, black boots, clown gloves, and, ready? Fucking Osama head and bomb on the chest. If that doesn’t give you the heeby jeebies nothin’ will. Fucking nothin’.

So I don’t know what this means. I don’t know if this means I’ve made the best Jesus dress Up ever that’ll never be matched, or if I’ve just gone fucking crazy and my darkest nightmares are there, on the page, staring back at me from that cross. All I know is that I can’t get enough.

Someone on the Internets is lookin’ out for me

This is kinda weird. This morning I got a whole bunch of emails telling me that I needed to update my personal credit card information for my ebay account. They seemed to be having problems there, and it was obvious from their tone, and the number of emails sent (3 dozen or so) that this was a real emergency! Someone was attempting to change my passwords and pin numbers and they needed the four digits off the back of all my credit cards, along with the account numbers, expiration dates, mother’s madden name, social security, etc.

So I clicked on the link that took me to their web pages. All I had to do was go to the page they linked me to and enter in all the information there, in just one shot! The link took me to ebay/Visa’s security update URL at “visacc253.net,” where I’m guessing all of their top secret account files are stored. Luckily I had all my credit cards handy, and my Social Security card and pin numbers memorized. This saved me a lot of hassle! It took like 2 minutes! 🙂

You know, I love the internet! It’s so handy now, with the World Wide Web, to take care of all these things all at once. It makes everything so easy. I was relieved that they gave me a “heads-up” before I was taken advantage of.

It looks like I got there just in the nick of time, because as soon as I clicked on the button that said “SECURE ACCOUNT INFO NOW,” it took me to a page that said everything was all right and I didn’t have to contact Visa or ebay (or any of my credit card companies) directly about the matter. Such a relief! Now I’m just going to spend the rest of the day relaxing, knowing that at least someone’s looking out for me!

Action @ Alt

3pm

Hahaha… okay, I’m in ALT and this homeless junky girl asked this guy here sitting across from her to use his cell phone. So he lends it to her (something I’d never do, nor would any New Yorker in his/her right mind). And she makes her call. Then she gave it back to him.

Then he starts yelling at her for calling South Carolina or some shit. Now he’s up telling the guy who works here, I don’t know what. I’m not exactly sure what he’s tattling on her for, but the guy who works here is comin’ around to talk with her.

Now it’s a shouting match, she’s gotten up and sat somewhere else. The guy who works here now is shouting and telling them, “I’m gonna ask both of you to leave if you don’t shut up!”

Now they’ve both sat down on opposite ends on the place. The guy is still mumbling to himself, peering over his shoulder at her. She’s looking around and pretending to read something, her own cell phone?

I’m guessing he has one of those prepay phones. I’m not familiar with those, but from how he’s behaving it’s cost him around fifty bucks. It’s so funny. He’s acting as if it’s outrageous for some homeless junky squatter chick to take advantage of someone like that.

During the altercation she yelled at him, “I don’t know why it is that italian guys are always yelling at me!”

Then he retorted, “I’m not Italian! And maybe it’s because you use their cell phones to make calls to South Carolina without permission!”

I don’t know. It struck me as a funny line.

This guy isn’t through with this thing yet. He keep looking over his shoulder at her, I’m guessing this is what one would call “Sending bad vibes in her direction.” Not sure if it’s working.

Wait. Maybe it is! Because now she’s looking over her shoulder at him and mouthing words like “dickhead” and “asshole.”

If anything more develops I’ll be sure to give an update.

3:14

Yay! The guy is getting up, packing his things. (C’mon, start shit with her man! She USED you!) Now he’s walking to her…. and he’s said he’s gonna tell the owner or something? Goddammit! I couldn’t hear all of what he said, but Christ, he gave her a tongue lashing and walked out. Both her and the guy who works here are shaking their heads at him as he leaves. It’s funny how something like that can make you think one person is nuts, then it turns out that both people are actually nuts!