Category Archives: Mohammed Dressup

Welcome to NormalBob.com (the new Latest Updates location)

This winter has turned out to be the longest of winters I’ve ever spent away from the site. Not that I haven’t been able to keep myself busy, but it did in fact turn out to be a much needed break. Since October of 2000 I’ve not gone once without making some sort of content update at least every couple weeks. And on average, consistently updating it a couple times a week, for 13 years! But the internet’s changed drastically since then. One of the changes I’ve witnessed is there being less of a need for constant obsessive updates. Competing for continual content on the web is a no-win race, and can quickly lead to extreme burnout.

Happily, I can now confidently say that the struggle to maintain a significant flow of traffic is no longer necessary for me to maintain a stable income. The steady demand for Jesus magnets on store shelves has freed me from those worries. That’s what I’ve spent the last year working to guarantee. Cold calling stores, sending samples, and fulfilling orders has proved to be a very fruitful venture. Asking my Facebook friends for names of possible stores has done what in the past I thought impossible – A useful purpose for Facebook.

Have no doubt however that the site remains my pride & joy. I’ve got big plans for 2013. The one that’s in the forefront of my mind at this exact moment is the project I just put the final payment on this afternoon. The Prophet Mohammed Dressup magnet sets!

Mohammed Magnets & Postcards
Mohammed Magnets and Postcards ($30)

Seriously, the last time I felt this excited about a project was when I received the first Jesus Dressup magnet samples back in ’04. Earlier this week the Mohammed samples landed on my doorstep, and let me tell you, they are a sight to behold! If you see me on the street, feel free to ask to see it! I am one proud papa. And the new version of the online game (you’re dressing him in modern men’s fashions from Target & The Gap) is available for play immediately! There’s also Prophet Mohammed postcards available for purchase too. 100% legally mailable postcards that can be sent through the US Postal Service for just pennies a piece! No envelopes required so The Prophet’s image can be seen the whhhhhooooollle way! Across the nation and over oceans! I encourage you to get a pack for yourself to send your heartfelt wishes to friends, loved ones and anyone else you think might appreciate seeing the long lost Prophet. I’d also like to think that this latest endeavor will give my Hate Mail section a much needed shot in the arm. We’ll see what happens now won’t we?

All right Bob. Stop. I’m too excitable about all this right now. There’s more to talk about.
*Catches breath.*

There is, of course, another exciting year of Amazing Strangers at Union Square about to begin just as soon as the weather gets agreeable. Which reminds me – Shaggy is coming out with his own line of products this year too! His book, DEATH TO THE READERS, is available on Amazon for just $3, and available in print very soon. There’s also going to be tee shirts too, which if you’re an observant follower you’ll see Shaggy’s been wearing it in some of the videos that’ve been posted recently.

I have a list of art projects I’m working my way through too. As they happen you can rest assured they will brought to your attention. This leads me to the next important update. My Latest Updates section of the site is being archived for good, and this spot here at normalbob.com is where all things related to all of my sites will be posted. IMPORTANT: If you have a subscription to the old Latest Updates page you’re going to have to resubscribe at this one. The old one is no longer operational. Nothing will change about the layout at normalbobsmith.com, but I’ve come to realize that the web does demand that I present a format more friendly & familiar to today’s first time visitors. And here we are.

So please, click the Subscribe button on the right and stay tuned for another fun year from me,
Your only true friend,
Normal Bob Smith.

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The New Mohammed Dressup/magnets

It’s difficult for me to express just how excited I am about the new Mohammed Dressup game, and the magnets in production. For a while now I’ve been attempting to imagine what the perfect Mohammed Dressup game would look like. It took a while for the popularity of his name & image to catch up with us in the West. Now that it has, I think this is what everyone’s been waiting for.

Mohammed Magnets & Postcards
Mohammed Magnets and Postcards ($30)

Another devious idea, I thought, was to print great quantities of The Prophet’s image in the form of mailable postcards! I mean, what better way to share his image than by showing it to everyone along the US mail postal route on the way to its lucky recipient? And you can send postcards cheap, just about anywhere, with no return address! I dunno. Maybe I’m the only one who appreciates it. We’ll see.

Either way, I don’t think I’ll find any stores willing to carry these on their shelves, so magnetic Mohammed Dressup is for sale here, and here alone. Shipment I’m predicting will arrive in April. I cannot wait.

Hate for the Holidays

“What if I were a Muslim, and someone made fun of Allah or Mohammed? How would I feel then?”

That question, and many others get answered in this weeks very special page of Hate Mail.

“Let’s say you were a f@#%*!g muslim, what about if I put up a website where I degrade that allah or mahomet… Would you like to see that…?”

Hi “Mr. Bob Smith” (if that is indeed your real name),

If you thought that dressing up like Satan and selling T-shirts, magnets and gadgets with this highly controversial theme would make you stand out of the crowd, you’ve succeeded. Too bad for yourself that we live in an age in which we should all be “politically correct”  yet there are websites like yours that are really distasteful and highly offensive to ALL christians.

I don’t know what religion you are (if you have one), and I don’t care, what I want to tell you is that your webpage is outrageously disgusting, distasteful, and offensive to millions of people in the world (not only in America)!

Let’s say you were a f@#%*!g muslim, what about if I put up a website where I degrade that allah or mahomet of yours, like you do on your website? Would you like to see that there is a popular website with your religious leader ridiculed in such a way?

I don’t think so, and if you would like it, it would show to all how sick and perverted you are.

You will do all of us a favor if you take down this website and stop your hate-spree.

I am positively ashamed that on this great thing called earth there are beings like you that instill anger, hate and extremely negative things in otherwise good and really normal people that are all geared toward yourself and guys like you! Are you some kind of sadomasochist?

There is no space for you and the likes of you on this earth!

Do yourself a favor, take the bloody f@#%*!g website down, and NEVER write or post anything like this again!

Marco Francesco Mario Guandalini

Imagine if I were a Muslim? That’s your retort? Had you thought maybe you deserve to have your god mocked if it’s led you to a place where you’re defending him by asking hecklers to imagine what it’s like? I think I used that same argument on my older brother while he made me hit myself in the head with my own hand.I’d scream at him, “Imagine if my head were a pot of gold! Ouch! And every time you made me hit it, Ouch! some gold fell out and was lost forever! Ouch, god-dangit!! Would you like that?!?!”

Marco Francesco Mario Guandalini, I regret to inform you that my line of protest had the complete opposite effect on my brother. And if I were in your shoes right now, I’d start thinking that perhaps I hadn’t been properly suited up for the show of life, and maybe, unconsciously I was leaving myself an open target to further ridicule in the not so distant future, and my fumbles were being recorded for future generations to giggle and titter to.

Imagine this, Marco. Imagine you were instead a thinking, rational adult with the ability to visualize himself in someone else’s shoes trying to understand how one could believe in magical gods who coincidentally lorded over the religion he was accidentally born into. Imagine having inner-arguments with yourself this complicated and working it out in your head before it ever got typed into an email and the “Send Message” button clicked.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Marco, I am the teasing big brother in the analogy, and you and Jesus are the stinky, turd-bottomed little brothers trapped in the garbage can that I sit atop. I’m making you hit yourselves with your own hands while I ignore your pleas for mercy and scoff your attempts to instill guilt. Why do I do these things, you ask? Easy. Because I love you, Marco.

Just kidding.

It’s because it’s hilarious and makes me feel like a big man.

Thanks for the email. I hope to hear back.

Normal Bob

Marco blocked me from emailing him back, and his Facebook page is private,

so my response was never received by him.

 

“Allah God will purnish u”

Insha Allah God will purnish u stupid man

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

muminu.musa@yahoo.com

Yes, Allah is a very big and powerful brute. I am well impressed by his might.Please pass that on. I know my flattery of the magic powers he has in the spiritual realm mean a lot to him.

Normal Bob

 

“I used to basically be an atheist.”

Subject: Offensive material

Dear Normal Bob Smith,

Many of the things that you have posted on your websites are spiritually offensive.  The Halloween Jesus Dress Up! makes Jesus a joke (the first thing I saw of yours). Then I realized that you have a lot of offensive material against God, religions, and spiritually.  I request that you remove all of the religiously and spiritually offensive material from all of your websites, stop selling religiously and spiritually offensive material, and apologize for doing all of this.

I used to basically be an atheist.  But, I did not go around selling anti-spiritual and religious products and putting down good religious and spiritual people (I admit, I may have done so at some point in the past, which I now regret).  There is a difference between a good debate and offensive material.

Thank you,

Andrew Pankow

Oh, that’s sweet. You were offended, therefore it needs to be gone. That which offends you must be removed from public viewing. It really is adorable that you think emailing your personal complaints about stuff on the internet is still a thing someone does. There’s just too much stuff on the internet, huh? Some of it needs to go.”Basically an atheist?” What’s that? You sorta didn’t believe in any gods except for one, and for that one you had a stretch you stopped believing out of spite? That’s what I’ve come to understand most believers tout as “once being atheist.” – As a teen, God was something included in with your rebellion against the parents, or whatever authority figures you had to rebel against at the time, so that’s the time you were atheist. Basically.

How about this? I’m offended that you believe your wrongs can be taken on by an innocent, and the handoff of your mistakes to him relieves you of them, all available at your convenience? I request that you remove that from something you ever voice publicly. I find it offensive.

There. Let the war of the arms-folded-frowny-faced offended begin!

We are all made of stars.

Normal Bob

“I do not believe that.”

I did not used to believe in God.  Although surrender to God is good, I am not really sure what you mean by “I’m offended that you believe your wrongs can be taken on by an innocent.”  If you are saying that my wrongs can be put on the innocent, I do not believe that.

Thank you,

Andrew Pankow

Oh, sorry. I misunderstood. I assumed that you believed Jesus (an innocent) saved you from your sins and such. Sometimes I jump the gun on responses because the complaints have a standard protocol. My mistake.Please tell me more about your beliefs so I can find something to be offended by in them.

Thank you.

Normal Bob

 

“Delete the site”

Subject: Dude this is bad news.

Delete the site for your own inner peace.

Alex Green

No thank you. If I had any more inner peace than I’ve already got I’d be dead.Normal Bob

This time I’m dead, for REAL! Jay the Mtn Framer returns

http://normalbobsmith.com/hatemail471.html
First of all I want to give a shout out to my new store item, the clever & hilarious bumper stickers that I’m sure you’ve seen already. I’m just way too proud of a daddy to let it go already. Check ’em out and buy, because I can’t wait to see pictures of ’em on cars! That all said, Jay the Mtn Framer has returned and he’s blowin’ up like a ripe volcano!! He’s seriously someone you’ll doubt is for real, but I swear he is. Go see for yourself! He’s been commenting up and down and all around past comment sections. But don’t take him without huge grain of salt. He’s proud of his hate for me, so that’s not the problem. He just likes being the center of attention. And there’s also an inspiring reality check fan letter from the UK in the sidebar, so enjoy this, another exciting page of hate mail.