Category Archives: Magnets

Batman Jesus Dressup magnets are here!

Jesus Dressup crownhanger logoThey’re HERE! They’re HERE! My Batman Jesus Dressup fridge magnets are in, and they look AmAzInG! I have to be a little sly in, but I think this’ll cut it for now. Just look for it under the name Joker Jesus.

I have zero reservations about creating these. It’s my art. It’s my favorite Batman characters from each era brought together in one zone for the Caped Crusaviour. It’s hard for me to express how satisfying it is to have it in hand like this. It’s my baby.

Batman Jesus Dressup fridge magnets sample
Batman Jesus Dressup fridge magnets sample

Hell. I’m happy with everything I’ve got for Jesus to be dressed up in. The BDSM version is still my #1 best seller. And the Final Justice has found its stores where they’re flying off the shelves into the hands of people as twisted as I. Also I’m pleased to say that the Lady Gaga version’s popularity moves according to her own as well. And the Star Wars & Halloween too.

All 6 for $66 includes Lady Gaga, Final Justice, BDSM, Halloween, Star Wars & Batman Jesus dressup sets!

That’s 6! And you know what that means? That means you can get all 6 for $66 while supplies last. I just love it when things work out so poetically like that. Sooooo satisfying just on its own. No sales even necessary. Which is a major flaw in my thought process I suppose. But there you have it. Just in time for Easter. And if you are a store, or know of a store which would carry any or all of these, please don’t keep it to yourself. Contact me and I’ll be delighted to send you some! Because next week I begin the process of mailing out samples to stores, making phone calls and fulfilling dreams.

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Calmly Begging for Rescue

Hire Me

Normal Bob sits above No Your City sticker
Normal Bob sits above No Your City Normal Bob place-holder

Yesterday I had an experience with a client that sent a chill down my spine. The client, who’s hired & paid me good money for an art  job told me, “I’ve got other jobs I’d love to have you working on, but you look so busy, I assume you don’t have the time for more stuff.”

In that brief instant, during a time when I’m scrambling around for money to pay bills, I imagined dozens of other potential clients saying to themselves, “Dammit! I’ve got jobs for this guy but he looks too busy to do them. I’ll go look for someone else I suppose.” Then flash forward 6 months to an image of me packing a U-Haul with what’s left of my possessions which have been put on the street by my landlord, on my way to a new life in Idaho to make some lame map of a park there that no one will ever care about.

Let me please be as clear as I know how to be. I need work. I have time for work. I LOVE to work! I also love to be all caught up on bills make-believing I can afford to still live in this city on a starving artist’s income. Please, for the love of God, if you’re out there needing art, or any other elements of my creativity, and you’re happy to pay, contact me! Prolong my stay in this expensive city! And thank you very much.

If you don’t have a job for me, but you’d still like to see me continue what I’m doing here, visit my store. That helps pay my bills as well.

I’m happy to say that after expressing these same thoughts to the aforementioned client he immediately sighed with relief and began a list of more jobs for me.

Jesus Dressup

This has been the toughest year for the magnets yet. The stores who’ve got them on their shelves have no problem selling them, but far too often I’ve been losing them because of customer complaints. It’s an ongoing problem I’ve always had to deal with (others frowning upon me profiting off the crucifixion), but I’m shocked at how many store managers as of late just don’t even want to chance it.

I’ve been dying to produce the new Batman Jesus Dressup I’ve got it designed and ready to go, but as I mentioned in the previous entry, I just can’t seem to accumulate the necessary funds to get that ball rolling. I’ve gotten a few stores recently who are very excited about Jesus Dressup in general, and it’s because of you people that I was able to find those stores and send them samples. So if there’s a store in your neighborhood you think might be interested in my magnets, please don’t hesitate to pass their name onto me. That simple act can make a world of difference.

Union Square

Amazing Strangers Wendell icon

Things are just getting underway at the Square, and I’ve got the camera rolling. Everyone’s been asking about that hat thief kid, whether or not he’s behaving himself since then, if he’s crazy or on drugs, and anything else I might know about him. All I can say is he’s been at the park several times since and has been pretty subdued. No other excitement from him yet, and from the looks of it he appears to have learned his lesson.

I’ve avoided tracking him down and grilling him for answers simply because if he wants his space I’m happy to give it to him. Also, I always have the lingering fear in the back of my head that when we finally do talk he’s going to ask for the video to be taken down. Yes, that’s what I have to deal with regularly in this unconventional hobby.

And then today, Apr 21, 2015 he approached me having just seen the video for the first time, twenty days later. His reasons and explanations may not be what you expect.

I got word that Chewy (Tarzan) got caught trying to sell dope to an undercover, and because he’s got priors he’s been put away for more than a few years. Matty Ice has been MIA since the last video. And there’s no sign yet of Lotion Man either.

I could go down the list of everybody who’s made an appearance thus far, but it’s easier just to show off the photos I’ve been taking.


Where I’ve Been

Since I seem to not be able to give you folks updates on any other section of the site, I’ll give it here.

First of all, I’m relieved to announce that the order for BDSM Jesus Dressup has been placed, and it’s expected to be here by October. I cut it so close raising the funds for these, but the BDSM Jesus has been the fastest selling version for me so far, and it’s the one the stores have been nagging me to get as soon as possible! My hope is that I can get over this Mohammed Dressup magnets mistake (I should have gotten the BDSM JDU ones done last year instead), then after the holidays, which I hope go well, invest in the Batman version next. Then, perhaps by next summer I’ll be able to get more of the Star Wars made (because those will be gone by Christmas), and get everything back to where I was a year ago. It’s been a struggle getting caught up since being forced to move in January. That took such a serious bite out of my budget, my energy, and inspiration. I’m really hoping to turn things around this Christmas.

BDSM Jesus Dressup magnets
BDSM Jesus Dressup fridge magnets ($15) include Betty Page wig, Leather Daddy, Nurse & Horsetail Buttplug

The new BDSM version has been tweaked and slightly updated. I redrew Jesus’ submissive nurse outfit, and replaced his pig mask with a sheep’s because of the whole “Lamb Of God” thing. Short of that however, everyone who I asked seemed to think it couldn’t be improved upon. So if it ain’t broke, yadda yadda yadda. Have a look at the sample sets that arrived as of 8/13/14! (Product is in stock as of 10/10/14!)

I’m not fond of selling sets in advance, but in an effort to catch up from previously mentioned setbacks I’ve decided to offer a discounted price for anyone willing to wait for shipment until October (possibly November). When they do arrive they’ll be priced at 15 bucks a pop. But if you know you want it, and you’re willing to wait, you can get them now for just $9 (no quantity limit) plus shipping. I wouldn’t even post this offer if I didn’t get so many emails asking where, when, and how to get them. Now I have an answer.

Amazing Strangers has been lagging, I’m aware. We’re all well aware. We had such a strong spring, and now it’s come to this! I’m not even sure if I ever announced the latest page update. Last month there were two separate, very real threats of violence if certain videos didn’t get removed, and in addition to that, almost every single day for the last month and a half it’s been Volleyball.

Volleyball, volleyball, volleyball. It dominates pretty much everything else at the south end of Union Square. Ask anyone there and they’ll agree. Volleyball eclipses all that’s happening at the park. It’s altered the mojo. Add to that Roman moving away, Wendell & Signs rarely showing, there’s little I can do but sit and wait for something to happen. If the section of my site were called “Amazing Volleyball!” you’d be getting lots and lots of updates! But it’s not. And to me there’s very little that’s amazing about these strangers.

Remember Bob Smith USA? The movie by Neil Abramson about me and 6 other Bob Smiths? Well, earlier this month Neil granted me permission to post the full movie on my YouTube channel. I’m very excited for everyone to be able to see it now. I’m still very proud to’ve been part of that project, and to get that part of my life and the site documented for future generations. I strongly recommend it, and sharing it with your friends.

As for me and my personal life, I just turned 45. I think my vision is finally beginning to fail me. I’ve been single for far FAR too long, and everyone tells me it’s because I’m not on any dating sites. Is that true? Is that the only way now? Is that why everyone’s staring at their phones when they’re crossing the street? Did I lose touch because of my flip phone?
I’m beginning to think that guy who told me to “stop looking and it’ll come to me” gave me shit advice. Time to start peepin’!

Last Day of March Recap

It’s been a long LONG horrible winter, but it seems to finally be ending. And even though it’s been pouring rain all weekend I can’t express enough what a relief even this wet and sunless 50 degree day was. Now, I’m sure any of you who’ve been regulars to the site for more than a couple years have noticed how things have slowed down here. Hate mail has ceased, everyone’s on their phones and the internet’s changed a thousand different ways in just the last 3 years. However that doesn’t mean I’ve gone away. Thankfully the Jesus magnets keep me in business, and it seems they might for the rest of my life. Let’s hope.

Unfortunately BDSM Jesus is completely sold out. The Jesus Christ Superstar set is almost gone (I think I have one or two more boxes of 40 left). And the Star Wars Jesus will surely disappear in 2014. I’d be getting more made immediately if my recent forced move hadn’t depleted all my holiday profits to the red. Believe me, as soon as I get it together I’ll be producing more, and I’d like to have the Batman ones by Christmas 2014, if you want them. Do you though?

“Batman WHAT?!?!” you say?! Yes! Batman Jesus is the latest of my JDU variations. I’m still up for additional costumes to the page if any of you Batman nerds out there have suggestions. Is there something obvious you think I’ve forgotten? Tell me about it! And before I get completely off the topic, if you know of a store in your area that’d possibly carry my product on their shelves, please tell me about that too.

Gigi Deluxe art
Gigi Deluxe in hitchhiking bikini digitized in Adobe Illustrator for dressup game

Other updates to the site – This winter I did a lot of drawing to maintain my sanity. So you can check out some of the sexy favorites I did in my portfolio, and everything else worth looking at is on Facebook, for now.

Also, you know that “Other” folder in your Facebook messages? The one you remember every couple years, and then when you do there’s shit there you wish you would’ve seen the year it was sent? Well, today I discovered another one of my hate mailers, Luke, sent an apology which appears to be one of his 12 Step requirements. I was actually touched, and I took off any and all personal information of Luke’s so you can see his email and he can move on. Sorry Luke that I didn’t get it sooner! Facebook really needs to ditch the Other folder. Does anyone really want their mailman guessing which letters are & aren’t important to us?

bitches don't know
“Bitches don’t get my style!” as he appears on the 2014 Matchgame Postcard

So a couple weeks ago I posted what I thought was a pretty average video of a guy we’ve all seen at the park swaggin’ around with a headset on for the last year or two. Then a couple days later, in the middle of the night, that video got 120,000 views on it! And now it’s up to 250,000 views, and I’m perplexed! I mean, I saw that it got on Reddit, and some other UK sites, then Gothamist picked it up after that, but in all truth I can’t wrap my head around why it’s such a big deal. I mean, Shaggy and I caught a guy shoplifting at Starbucks, and that video doesn’t even have 5,000 hits! And every time someone tries to explain it to me I STILL can’t fathom the craze! But perhaps you will. See for yourself.

Speaking of which, you know what else has been getting a lot of views seemingly out of nowhere? The Facebook page for Mohammed Dressup! Both Haters & Likers have been hittin’ it up, Liking and commenting on the wall… And that’s about it. No one’s buying the magnets as of yet, but I’ll take what I can get. There could be a point in the semi-near future where I conclude the Mohammed magnets are a complete bust and I’m the bonehead for thinking there’s an ex-Muslim subculture with internet access to appreciate them. Maybe they need a few more decades to see the humor in it all. All is not lost however. One of the few stores that carries them, Wacko on Hollywood Blvd just reordered another batch! So all is not lost. Isn’t “Draw Mohammed Day” coming up here in May? Maybe something can happen then?

As for everything else, the Amazing Strangers will be back at the Square soon enough.
I’m available for freelance work if you have art projects of almost any kind that you’d pay to have done.
Oh, and if you’re really a pro at coding, my dress up games need repairing! Firefox & Google Chrome did something to their browsers last October that deactivated the movable layers feature in my games. If you can figure out a fix besides the “use Safari instead” answer, I’ll pay for your services!

The fact that I still have any visitors to my site some 13 years later means a lot to me.
Your continued interest keeps it going. Now excuse me while I get ready to watch the latest episode of Cosmos.

Normal Bob Smith
bob@normalbob.com