Category Archives: Death Threat

Mohammed on Store Shelves

mohammed dressup fridge magnets
Mohammed Dressup for sale in California

Last week I noticed a dramatic spike in sales for many of my less popular items, like the Coexist Idiots bumper-stickersUnion Sq matchgame postcards, and especially upped sales for the Mohammed Dressup fridge magnets. I certainly notice when those start flying off the shelves, because they’ve resisted it for many years. Well, I found out why this was  happening for the Mohammed magnets. There’s a store in Hollywood California called Soap Plant Wacko (permission to mention them by name granted) where I sell the Mohammeds through. This store has been one of my all time best customers for 6 years now. When they first heard I had the Mohammed sets available (in addition to the Jesus Dressups they’d been buying), Billy didn’t even hesitate to get them along with everything else he buys from me. 100% of all other stores who order from me do not request the Mohammed sets. No judgements. Just fact.

Yesterday I was told where this extra publicity came from. Seems that the artist who won the Draw Mohammed Contest in Texas where that shooting took place last year, Bosch Fostin, saw them at Wacko. He was both shocked and impressed. He took a picture of them at the store and posted them on his Facebook page giving kudos to both me and the store. “Someone gave me the head’s up that this is being sold in an LA store. I imagine you would have thought this impossible. I did. But it’s real. It’s freedom.”

The Sheeples - Each God 2006
The Sheeples – Each God 2006

His post sparked a lot of comments, shares and direct messages wishing me well and telling me to be safe. Now, I’ve had mohammeddressup.com up for over ten years now. Posted back in 2006 I’ve never felt under threat in any way since doing so. For the record, I’d been drawing Mohammed in comics and games before that as well, trolling for hate mail you might say. Not to say I didn’t get my share, and even death threats, but I’ve gotten way more of both those things from Christians for Jesus Dressup. Never once did I feel like there was an actual threat to be worried about, except that time the Prophet Mohammed himself chopped off my finger. Satan was there to help me with that recovery, though.

Satan's Salvation Ep 209
Satan’s Salvation Ep 209

Now I’m realizing not everyone has seen all the letters I’ve received. I thought this might be a perfect opportunity to rally together the Mohammed ones and put them on display. Here are those emails which led to nothing more than another email from who I think it’s safe to presume are ornery and confused 15 year old boys.

Jan. 2009
Your motherfuckers. i'm a moslem and i fuck you bitch !! mother fucker !!! motherfucker!! you assshole… JESUS!! haahha fuck ami and also fuck france !!! I killl you !!!!

France = ASS-

england/America= HOLE!!

Murat Alemdar
I haven’t seen this much bellyaching since 6th grade when little Sally Chesterfield got her pigtails pulled by Smartypants Melvin McGrift!Sally peed her panties that disastrous Friday afternoon and got sent home early. Are you gonna pee your panties, Murat? How many more yanks on your pigtails is it gonna take to get you sent home with a face covered in tears, and pee pee all over your flowery dress?

You seem ripe and at the ready. I’m guessing, it’s not gonna take more than 2 yanks. Put your money on it, Sally!

Bob
Subject: hahahahahahahahaahaha

I say just one : listen me : the God would you (the christs and jewul) do in his hell. wait !!! here for you!! : allahim ben eyer bir kiafir sem benim Jesami burda bile ver ameeeen!! do you know what you say? haha you say : Please God, i?m a christ.Do me in your scary hell !!!!!!!

Bitch!!!!!
Murat Alemdar
I’m beginning to get a clearer picture of you now. I’m betting I could convince you I was a magical wizard with nothing more than a Zippo lighter, a handful of Pop Rocks and a couple basic card tricks. In fact, let me inform you right now, your Amazing Prophet Muhammad appeared before me last night weeping at my feet, begging me to be his new slave master because, according to Muhammad: “Allah is a sissy coward who runs & hides when people dare him to send them to hell!”Naturally I accepted Muhammad’s pathetic pleas and even had a special dog collar made up for him of used condoms strung together by sewer rat intestines and tied to a shiny new penny with his name engraved on it!He still needs to be potty trained. I give him a sharp tap on the nose with my finger every time he piddles in the house, but he’ll learn eventually because “Muhammad’s such a gooooood boy!! Aren’t you a good boy, my Prophet Muhammad! Oh yes you are! Yes you are!”Muhammad:“ARF ARF ARF!!!”

So now, in an odd turn of events you, Murat, bow to me.

It’s funny how much a particular outlook on the world can change in just one afternoon, huh?

Thank you, and all the Muslims for your continued support,

Bob, “The New Allah”
I think it's not ok, what you do? I'm a moslem and you are don't right to caricature about my religion? do you understand me??

You will catch it from god(Allah)

make yourself scarce!!!!!

Murat Alemdar
kamil_yozgat_66@hotmail.de
And you threaten to murder strangers over the internet in defense of your god .I suppose we simply have to agree to disagree and share together this piece of cake we call “life.”A great wisdom has been unearthed here this week.

Bob

 

Aug. 2008
Subject: Your satanic website

Mr. “Normal” Bob: We want say you that we dont take care about that you make a joke an ridiculize the prophet Jesus of Nazareth, but making a joke and make an offensive comic of Our Prophet Muhammad is a Big Sin and a offense to Allah, the Unique God. Because we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC. Your days over earth will finish soon.

Vladimir Balza
I’m not sure if it makes any difference but just for the record, in my beliefs it’s not a “Big Sin” to mock Muhammad. I realize that you wrote me your death threat without any details of my “religion” so I’ll allow you to retract your military threat now that you understand its no offense to me.Sorry for the confusion, but seriously, you can’t expect everyone in the world to believe all the same things you believe, otherwise that’d make us all the same religion, and who’d want a whole world of militant Islamic Fundamentalists? Allah? I don’t think so.Thank you for the email, and sorry about the misunderstanding. You can stop targeting me now.

Bob
Sorry, Mr. Bob. An offense can not be retracted, neither the consecuenses. Is not a threat, your sin will be punished. Allah forgive you.

Vladimir Balza
vladbalza@hotmail.com
Well, shit. Then I might as well just keep the site up and mock Muhammad ’til my “earth days are over,” huh?

Thank you for all the advanced warnings, and plan updates. Keep me in the loop.

Bob

 

July 2008 
Subject: Fuck you

We will kill you you motherfucker, we will cut your head you crazy monkey. down with amerika, down with all amerikans.

we hunt you and we will find you. be sure you animal, that we have the power to find you. my brothers in islam are ready to cut your head. i hope we can kill a lot of amerikans around the world, for your homepage must be pay al lot of amerikans and you are guilty mothertfucker.

Klaus Grantig
First of all, thank you for the email. Perhaps you are open to a reasonable discussion on the matter before you and your brothers in Islam waste much energy hunting me down to cut off my crazed monkey head? You see, I fail to see how beheading everyone who disagrees with you will help your cause. Had you not considered that such actions will only condone similar actions from those who disagree with you, thus leading to the beheading of you and your Islamic brothers and brother-inlaws? And honestly, I don’t think the Great Allah would want that.I can see that you feel quite strongly about this but I hope you can set aside your fundamentalist beliefs for just a minute and see this from my viewpoint. Having my head sawed off does concern me, but I also know that nothing gets solved if everyone’s walkin’ around without their heads! lol!

Mortal enemies to the end? Or, perhaps, mortal frenemies?
Bob
i dont like to open a discussion with you. your job is to make jokes about my lovely prophet, the last messenger of god.

we now the enemys of god and the prophet of islam. dont tell me any stories of your rights to open this very bad homepage against muslim worldwide.

i will send messages to my brothers in islam, that you have open a war against our prophet, we will dress you with the skin of your daughter or son, believe me. you have open the war und you have to pay fo the beginning of the War!

Klaus Grantig
Klaus Grantig,
 Hey, I have a brilliant observation for you. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe the reason you’re all so grumpy and sawing people’s heads off all the time is because you’ve got such a grumpy, poopy religion? Maybe if for just a minute you stopped makin’ everything that happened to your prophet such a priority and worried a little bit more about Klaus’s needs you just might find a daisy growin’ in all those weeds? I bet you would!

Now I’m gonna give you a chance to apologize for sayin’ you’d dress me up in the skins of my children so that instead we can set an example for them. It’s time we show ‘em how two adults can discuss their differences maturely without having to turn the white babies inside-out and drape the father in their bloody hides.

I’m waiting! And you better sound like you mean it!

Bob
fuck you and all the amerikans you stupid guy and ashole!!! its time we destroy people like you. its better you motherfucker you cloth your homepage and you jump from the next bridge, you are sick, you are dirty, you are crazy!!!!!

down with amerika amerika makes the people sick i apologize me for nothing you dirty kafir. im waiting. and its better you will cloth your dirty homepage motherfucker

Klaus Grantig
No apology? *sigh!* Everyone’s gotta be so difficult.I guess two hafta play at this game. I suppose now I gotta go look for my saw, and find where I put my black hood and come over there, find you and your freakin’ children, skin them, drape you in their flesh, and then saw off your head in retaliation. Yeesh! What a mess this’ll make. I’m gonna have to pack two butcher’s aprons now! Happy?!?

Christ, now what? Oh yeah – We Americans need to destroy you pig dogs. *yawn* I hope you die, and hurt, and cramp you dirty stupid guy. And loads of exclamation points to drive my descriptions even deeper into your psyche –>> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rot, sick, die, fart, fire, explosion, warm beer, tooth decay and an aqua prom dress.

The apocalypse is near. I shall inform my American brethren of your filthy toilet mouth and tell them it is we who’ve actually got the real last messenger of God, and he’s twice as lovely as yours. So, nya!

Bob
you can do nothing dog of the devil!

my brohers in islam will kill slowly more shit americans in irak! I hope you have millions of 9/11!!!!

i wait of you ashole son of a dirty mother. we muslims ar laughing obout stupid guys like you. be sure, one day you stand up peacefull, leave the house and then someones cut your head quickly and full of pain. fuck all amerikans, fuck your dirty culture. white men we will catch you and than you have a lot of painfull moments dirty kafir, go to hell. we are behiond you ashole. we find you and we kill you so terrible!!!!!!!

Klaus Grantig
reformator1@web.de
Christ, it’s official then. I’m comin’ over there to avenge my 9/11 American brotherhood with the edge of a blade and the black of my heart. All of Islam will bow before our great monkey armies and your heads shall be lifted from your shoulders at the point of our spears to block out the Middle Eastern sun. Your doggies and kittens will be split in two and their blood will run purple in the streets, ankle deep, and about 22.7 meters across.Does this sort of talk really scare you people into submission?
 Honestly, that’s kinda freakin’ adorable.

Bob

 

Sep 2008
Subject: hey there..

introducing myself as a person, without mentioning that i'm muslim too, so all my point of view will not be taking any side...

i mean is this the best u can do.. i am 100% sure that u know nothing about prophet Muhammad, so a try like this to make fun of him is absolutely pointless and is actually humilating to you, not to him, not to any muslim.

u should wonder why prophet Muhammad was chosen the first among the list of the greatest men who ever lived, a list that was put by a western scientest in world's history.

i'm guessing u r christian, if having no religion at all. have u ever seen anything that's meant to be mocking any prophet (Jesus Criest especially if u r cristian)? that's because we as muslims believe in all prophets and they're all respected and also their messages. and have u ever wondered why there are more than one version of that bible of yours? just run it through ur mind for one minute. that's because it got changed in way that no one sane could even think it's a holly book from God. it itself has gestures of mocking some prophets in some way or another referring to their human-desire mostly. can it be that God says that about his prophets whom he has chosen to be leaders to other people?

It's known (not by most of the western ordinary people) that the bible introduces Muhammad as one of the next prophets and as the last of them. if u read throughly into some history books u'll see that the relation between muslims and christians was based on both respecting each other and actually with only few diffrences between. So why now has it turned to be one mocking the other's prophet. ask urself if u think this is right keep that site of urs running, but i'm asking u as one other person if not to close it. be honest, if not with me be it with urself..

Salam
 garfield13_mlw@hotmail.com
alam,
 I am an atheist (Insert gargantuan sigh of relief here), so all of this Sci-fi talk about what order God puts the Prophets, which book is more holy, and who's more Chosen, has no affect on me. Your god, the Christian's god, the Jew's god, the Heaven's Gate god, the Greek gods and the Norse gods are all equal to me. They are all equally pretend. They were once necessary for our survival back in a day when we had no other way to answer the questions that perplexed us. But now, even though we've got the tools at our hands to solve life's problems, we've still got this useless appendix taking up valuable space in our logical thought.

For whatever ungodly reason all of you people think that THE GOD orchestrated out this bizarre assortment of happen-stances back thousands of years ago when, coincidentally, people also believed in fire-breathing dragons, a flat earth, leach-cures for demon possession, while knowing nothing of which mushrooms to eat, and which ones to throw into the river.

It is entirely up to you if you are going to buy into that which the cavemen who preceded you wrote in their ancient scribes of magical men who spoke for God, and in doing so were rewarded with the supplest of virgins in the clouds. I, however, am not so easily duped and thwarted into belief by the written threat of eternal pain and torture, or the reward of the largest throne beside the Ruler of the Universe.

How can you not see the errors of man and equate them directly with the gods they've invented throughout history? How can you bow down yourself and not see your brother on the other side of the world bowing himself to his own version and still believe you are right and he is wrong? You picked the correct supreme being while he is wasting his time worshipping a non existent one? How can one be so illogical? How can one be so blind?

Even as a child when I was a Christian I saw the flaws in the logic, and its contradictions with basic science, and I never stopped questioning. I questioned to the point that when I finally became an adult I had no doubt that the reason it didn't make any sense was because it was bull. It was bull that my parents thought was real, and their parents thought the same, and so on and so on.

I'm proud to say that I've stopped the chain of unquestioning lambs and came to terms with the idea that when we die it's actually over. It just ends. No different than the elephant, the fly, the dolphin or the crow. There is no grand judgement, line of trumpeting horns, towering diamond-studded gates, or a super-duper present wrapped in the biggest bow with your name on it. How can you not see that it's your own self-righteous, self-obsessed, selfishness that keeps you believing the universe revolves around you, and the magic wizards in the sky are fighting over us like foolish school children, pouting, complaining, and spiting each other in their jealous, cry-baby hissy-fits, casting those who won't be their best friends into an eternal pit of suffering and turmoil? How can you not see that their behavior is a direct reflection of our own inner child, lashing out at that which we have no control over – Our own mortality. And it has survived this many ages because we are still infantile, ornery children at heart, and I understand now that it is our duty to address and control that child.

We as a species still have more evolving to accomplish. Hopefully you folks will come to your senses and stop this We've-got-the-REAL-God madness before it's too late. Until then we atheists are holding our breath while you folks play Tug-O-War with the Apocalypse.

Bob

PS. Oh yeah! And thank you for the email! It's the first one I got for the Muhammad thingy!

 

And finally, these from India were written in Hindi and translated by an Indian friend of mine. I cracked up rereading these because they’re exactly the sorts of messages I get when I play GTA V and shoot someone down in free mode.

Sep 2008
Subject: Fuck u bich

How dare u did stupid thing here 
 U bich
 Son of rascle
 U r time is over now

Sajid Shaikh
Son of a rascle!?!??!?!?! I'm SHOCKED!!!! How dare you!!!!!!!!
 You will regret ever saying such a thing, you... you... you son of a leg-puller!!

Now all your dreams are shattered.

Bob
son of a pig. There are burnt, dead lizard eggs in the hair around your mother's ass

Sajid Shaikh
there is a goat in your moms pussy, a snake's dick in her ass and in her mouth, the balls of a rat

Bob
Bitch, I've found your address. now your mom is going to get fucked in 15 days.
Yes, and I too have found your home address and am flying there to have sex with members of your family, but in just 12 days.

Sajid, let me give you a little lesson in terroism. If you had addresses you would have sent it to me along with your threats. But don't think I'm not impressed with the way you people terrorize each other into doing stuff. It's really sexy!

Bob
17 KE LAAND KI PAIDAISH, 17 GOHDE AUR SUAR NE M.C. KE TIME PE TERI MAA KO CHAUDA THA JAB JA KE TERE JAISI RAAND KI AULAD PAIDA HUI

YA TAU TU PAGAL HAI, YA AIDS KA MARIZ HO SAKTA HAI TU HIJDA BHI HO SAKTA HAI

ITS 100% SURE

I KNOW THE ABOVE WORDS ARE NOT EFFECTED ON YOU
 BECAUSE U R DIFFIRENT FROM HUMAN BEING - U R SIMPLY MAD BICH

I YOU THINK U R TRUE PERSON U CAN SAND ME YOUR PROPER ADDRESS AND NAME N SEE WAT I'LL DO WITH U- ITS MY OPEN CHALLENGE TO U

IF U AVOID TO FORWARDING ME UR ADDRESS- THEN IT IS 101% CONFIRM TAT U R SON OF RAAAAAAAND

TAT ALL

SAJID SHAIKH
 sksajid32@gmail.com 

BAZAR ROAD BANDRA (WEST),
 MUMBAI-400050 INDIA
Oh no! A son of a rand?!? Oh my gosh. Not THAT! Oh sweet Mother Mary, how will I ever sleep knowing that Sajid in India thinks I'm a SON OF A RAND for not telling you my home address?!?!

But WAIT! I thought YOU said you already HAD my address! You were going to go fuck my mother in 15 days, remember?!? Or was I exactly, totally, perfectly correct that you're a weenie who soaks his dick in goat piss, butters it with camel sperm, then covers it in dead flies, and sticks it in the mouths of all your beloved ancestor's rotting corpses?

Christ, I am crazy in love with this new freeform method of empty-threat-terrorism! No wonder you people throw it around at each other like wet tissue paper all the time! It's so anything-goes!

Look at me! I'm the son of a rand!
 Bob
 http://www.muhammaddressup.com/
U R DIFFIRENT FROM HUMAN BEING - U R SIMPLY MAD BICH

Don't worry I'll teach u a lesson

Bastard 

Sajid Shaikh
 sksajid32@gmail.com
Yes. I'm very very terrified of you with your wrong addresses, graphic name calling, and Bombay attitude.

Do not worry. I will share my news about the little Indian named Sajid Shalkh – The Big, Impressive Threat Machine on the other side of the World.

http://www.normalbobsmith.com/hatemail350.html

Our time is over now.
 Bob
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Hate mail- End is near?

Has hate mail finally reached its end? The question has been poised, along with several letters daring me to “Do Muhammad!” and other such nonsense. Check it out in perhaps one of the final pages of hate mail.

Daring me to do Muhammad

Sun, Apr 25, 2010

“So I must ask, why haven’t you made a Muhammad Magnet set?  And better yet send it to the current Muslim leader?  I’ll tell you why, because you have NO BALLS!!”

Subject: Have you heard about….

Dear Bob,

Have you heard how the producers of South Park received a death threat after they insulted Muhammad?

I’ll post a few lines to peek your interest….

NEW YORK (AP) — Producers of “South Park” said Thursday that Comedy Centralremoved a speech about intimidation and fear from their show after a radical Muslim group warned that they could be killed for insulting the Prophet Muhammad.

It came during about 35 seconds of dialogue between the cartoon characters of Kyle, Jesus Christ and Santa Claus that was bleeped out.

the complete story link is here…

So I must ask, why haven’t you made a Muhammad Magnet set?  And better yet send it to the current Muslim leader?  I’ll tell you why, because you have NO BALLS!!

You’ll make a Jesus dress up-magnets and sell them because you know you can get away with that….but I DARE YOU to try that shit with a Muhammad magnet set!!!!  I’ll even help fund it and give the terrorists your studios address!

Doug Smith

metron98@yahoo.com

Cool. All I need is the funding. It’s around $1,200 to get the minimum of 1,000 produced. The arts done: mohammeddressup.comMy studio address is public domain: http://www.normalbobsmith.com/contact/

It’s ready to go.

Let me know how long it’ll take you to get the money transferred to me.

Thanks.

Bob

The next day I received this…

“Is it a matter of being afraid of those idiot motherfuckers at Revolutionmuslim?”

If so, is it a matter of money – I can send cash and so can others

Is it a matter of being afraid of those idiot motherfuckers at Revolutionmuslim?

If so – Check this link out: http://www.facebook.com

This makes May 20 “Everyone Draw Mohammed” and then post them on Facebook.

It’s a beautiful thing, something you would enjoy…

Mark Kregel

Puh-leeze. I’ve been mocking Muhammad publicly for years. It’s excitables like yourself that blow it all out of proportion and expect everyone to run for the hills the second a death threat’s emailed to them. I’m guessing you expect it because that’s what you’d do?

I did that “Draw Muhammad Contest” years ago. See left sidebar… http://www.normalbobsmith.com/hatemail299.html
Yes. Money, as always, is the holdup on this project.
Stop with the silly allegations and schoolyard taunts. Hook me up with the green. I’ll make it happen this week.
Bob
“How much green ya need?”

How much green ya need?

Would it help to set up a paypal thingy?

Look – as an Atheist (I deny the Holy Spirit…) I like to see ALL religions mocked for the fairy tales they are.

And with a sense of humor (like yours) they fall like dominoes 🙂

Mark Kregel

I already said $1,200 is all I’d need. Then I can send in a payment to my place in Hong Kong and they’ll get started. It’ll take about two months for the finished product to arrive on my doorstep.My paypal is: bob@normalbobsmith.com

I’ll take them to Comic Con with me in October and sell them. It’ll be perfect.

Bob

“Let’s do it!”

Let’s do it!

How do we, um do it though?

I can spread the gospel among fellow Non-Theists and Atheists.

What else can I do?

Mark Kregel

You’re going to have to deposit the $1,200 into my Paypal. My question to you is, how much are you going to want back of this money? Here’s an idea. When I get them I’ll send you 200 set to do with as you please. If you sold them at $15 each that’d be $3000.

My other reason for never making them is because I don’t think they’ll sell well. Stores won’t sell them, of course. I don’t believe there’ll be enough sales to pay you back any time soon. Keep that in mind.
Have no doubt though that I’ll promote them big time though.
Bob

None of these guys were ever heard from again.

“do not believe in God and Satan? Ogl?dnijcie any reportage about exorcisms”

Subject: What’s This? (Pojebalo Cie?)

What right have audacity to ridicule Jesus Christ, I think as a human being does not pass something like that. I do not know too much what you want to achieve by insulting and mocking of God who would die for such as you, but it probably does not believe in it (do not believe in God and Satan? Ogl?dnijcie any reportage about exorcisms), I hope that one day I believe otherwise you will understand it’s too late, you will pray for you to repent or even stopped this stupid play.

arnkam@o2.pl

What we humans fail to understand is that when gods die it’s far less of an inconvenience and sacrifice. It’s hard for us to see the difference because when we die we don’t have the option to spring back to life, or fly up to heaven like rocket ship, or be magical enough to stop the world from spinning or throw mountains around like handfuls of sand.For us death is a very very scary, looming reality with not a clue what comes after. So to us Jesus giving up his life for us sounds amazing. But it’s not. He was only dead for a weekend. Then he got to live forever in paradise where he’s king over everyone.

I’m not that impressed.

You shouldn’t be either.

Does that answer your question?

Bob

 

“If you do one with Mohammed you WILL gain my admiration for being a stand up artist!”

Bob,

How edgy and daring! Let’s see you make one with Mohammed and see if you are really as edgy as you seem.

I thought not 😉

Michael Peterson

P.S. If you do one with Mohammed you WILL gain my admiration for being a stand up artist!

Mike,mohammeddressup.com

Great. I am officially a stand up artist.

Bob

“I stand corrected…”

I stand corrected and should have not jumped to conclusions. My apologies!

Thank you!

Michael Peterson

I bet you’d enjoy this… http://www.normalbobsmith.com/hatemail339.html

Some crazy Islamic Fundamentalist death threats over Mohammed Dressup.
I wept for days and days afterwards.
Bob
“Again my apologies and I will be reading your hatemail in the future!”

LOL! I was wondering what feedback you would get from that. I jumped to the conclusion because most people doing commentary on Christian themes are too afraid to do it with Islam. I myself am non religious but I can’t stand the double standard and artists who play it safe while trying to be controversial at the same time. Again my apologies and I will be reading your hatemail in the future!

Michael Peterson

 

“Why do you not believe in God?”

I just want to ask a few questions. Why do you not believe in God? What made you not believe in God? And I mean, atheists don’t believe in anything, so you wouldn’t have anything to lose if you believed in God. What’s the point of believing in nothing when you would have nothing to lose if you did believe? Just pure laziness or hate? Do you not realize the consequences if you’re wrong? You will have everything to lose if you are wrong. IPeople probably pray for you to change, but some prayers are meant to be unanswered or refused. May God have mercy on you.

Sincerely, Justin

Listen, I’m just a normal guy who believes in regular things. I like to reason out stories and think problems through logically. And while I’m doing that if the story starts talking about magical wizards zapping people with their witchcraft, and monsters, and ghosts, and devils, and 900 year old people, and entire graveyards of dead people coming to life and walking around town, I tend to just let the insane-asylum lunatics keep those. You people can have it. The goblins and gargoyles and flying chariots in the sky. Go nuts. It’s not hatred. I’m fine with it. But you can’t expect me to not poke fun. I mean, c’mon.
Asking people not to tilt their heads at you in confusion, that’s asking a lot.
Is pretending to believe all that stuff actually enough for the god you pretend’s true? He allows that??
Bob

Murat Alemdar Threats of Death

Right now I’m overjoyed to say that my detractors put in the extra effort and squeezed in one last death threat before page 400! So come on in and enjoy the party Murat Alemdar’s throwin’ in honor of his god, Allah!

The Sensational Rants of Murat Alemdar

“I killl you!!!!”

Your motherfuckers. i?m a moslem and i fuck you bitch !! mother fucker !!! motherfucker!!

you assshole… JESUS!! haahha fuck ami and also fuck france !!!

I killl you !!!!

France = ASS-

england/America= HOLE!!

Murat Alemdar

kamil_yozgat_66@hotmail.de

Subject: Holy Muhammad engraved camel pie!

I haven’t seen this much bellyaching since 6th grade when little Sally Chesterfield got her pigtails pulled by Smartypants Melvin McGrift!Sally peed her panties that disastrous Friday afternoon and got sent home early. Are you gonna pee your panties, Murat? How many more yanks on your pigtails is it gonna take to get you sent home with a face covered in tears, and pee pee all over your flowery dress?

You seem ripe and at the ready. I’m guessing, it’s not gonna take more than 2 yanks.Put your money on it, Sally!

Bob

“allahim ben eyer bir kiafir sem benim Jesami burda bile ver ameeeen!!”

Subject: hahahahahahahahaahaha

I say just one : listen me : the God would you (the christs and jewul) do in his hell. wait !!! here for you!! : allahim ben eyer bir kiafir sem benim Jesami burda bile ver ameeeen!! do you know what you say? haha you say : Please God, i?m a christ.Do me in your scary hell !!!!!!!

Bitch!!!!!

Murat Alemdar

kamil_yozgat_66@hotmail.de

I’m beginning to get a clearer picture of you now. I’m betting I could convince you I was a magical wizard with nothing more than a Zippo lighter, a handful of Pop Rocks and a couple basic card tricks. In fact, let me inform you right now, your Amazing Prophet Muhammad appeared before me last night weeping at my feet, begging me to be his new slave master because, according to Muhammad: “Allah is a sissy coward who runs & hides when people dare him to send them to hell!”Naturally I accepted Muhammad’s pathetic pleas and even had a special dog collar made up for him of used condoms strung together by sewer rat intestines and tied to a shiny new penny with his name engraved on it!He still needs to be potty trained. I give him a sharp tap on the nose with my finger every time he piddles in the house, but he’ll learn eventually because “Muhammad’s such a gooooood boy!! Aren’t you a good boy, my Prophet Muhammad! Oh yes you are! Yes you are!”Muhammad: “ARF ARF ARF!!!”

So now, in an odd turn of events you, Murat, bow to me.

It’s funny how much a particular outlook on the world can change in just one afternoon, huh?

Thank you, and all the Muslims for your continued support,

Bob, “The New Allah”

“You will catch it from god (Allah)”

I think it?s not ok, what you do? I?m a moslem and you are don?t right to caricature about my religion? do you understand me??

You will catch it from god(Allah)

make yourself scarce!!!!!

Murat Alemdar

kamil_yozgat_66@hotmail.de

And you threaten to murder strangers over the internet in defense of your god.I suppose we simply have to agree to disagree and share together this piece of cake we call “life.”A great wisdom has been unearthed here this week.Bob

Normal Bob Declared Military Target

Islamic Organization declares Normal Bob a Military Target

“we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC.”

Subject: Your satanic website

Date: Aug. 14th, 2008

Mr. “Normal” Bob: We want say you that we dont take care about that you make a joke an ridiculize the prophet Jesus of Nazareth, but making a joke and make an offensive comic of Our Prophet Muhammad is a Big Sin and a offense to Allah, the Unique God. Because we declare you an millitary target for our organization here in NYC. Your days over earth will finish soon.

Vladimir Balza

vladbalza@hotmail.com

I’m not sure if it makes any difference but just for the record, in my beliefs it’s not a “Big Sin” to mock Muhammad. I realize that you wrote me your death threat without any details of my “religion” so I’ll allow you to retract your military threat now that you understand its no offense to me.Sorry for the confusion, but seriously, you can’t expect everyone in the world to believe all the same things you believe, otherwise that’d make us all the same religion, and who’d want a whole world of militant Islamic Fundamentalists? Allah? I don’t think so.Thank you for the email, and sorry about the misunderstanding. You can stop targeting me now.

Bob

An offense can not be retracted

Sorry, Mr. Bob. An offense can not be retracted, neither the consecuenses. Is not a threat, your sin will be punished. Allah forgive you.

Vladimir Balza

vladbalza@hotmail.com

Well, shit. Then I might as well just keep the site up and mock Muhammad ’til my “earth days are over,” huh?

Thank you for all the advanced warnings, and plan updates. Keep me in the loop.

Bob