Current mood: Humiliated
Well, today it happened. Today the Scenesters exacted their revenge on me. No kidding. And I was caught off guard. It was an ugly display. Here’s what happened.
I was sitting at Union Square this evening, just hanging out as usual, and in front of me walks one of the Scenesters. He’s lookin’ at me all funny, and I’m lookin’ at him. Then, OUT OF NOWHERE, he whips out a camera and puts it in front of his face and takes a picture of me! I only had time to grin and flip him the bird, but then he walked by me and took another picture of me! Just out of nowhere! And I smiled and flipped the bird to that one too.
I’m terrified to even imagine what sort of web page they’re all scheming to put together with these coupla pics of me sitting at Union Square givin’ the finger. It’s the not-knowing that fucks with your mind. It’s the same method the Evil-doers use. ie: Terrorism. It’s no different. They’re toying with me. Making me sweat. Who knows, maybe they took a picture of me from behind as well? How can I be sure? I can’t! They could have a hundred pictures of me from behind sitting on the steps at Union, and I have no way to tell if I’m right or wrong.
I have to apologize to my fans! Now you are left with the dilemma: Do you continue to be my fans and suffer through this humiliation I’m sure they have planned for my pictures, or do you just throw away years of dedication and hide from my soon-to-be humiliated self, never to mention that you even were aware that I existed, ever! Jesus or Judas?
I mean, what if they take that picture, write the word “FAGGOT” on it, and make an arrow pointing to me, and post that on the internet?? Or what if they write a whole thing about what a douchebag I am and how I sit at Union and give the finger all the time and am bald, or something like that??? But I’ll tell you, that kid who took the picture strode away like he’d just gotten a picture of me with a booger on my face or some…. OH.. MY.. GOD! Is that it??!? Did I have a booger on my face?!? Jesus Christ! If that’s what he got a picture of I don’t know what I’ll do!! !
I’m sorry, people! I’m sorry! I didn’t know I was this vulnerable to persecution! I’ve never seen before so up close how I am in fact an Amazing Stranger myself!!! It’s over. The site is finished. I am soon to have a long overdue lesson dealt to me. Forgive me. Forgive… me… for.. being.. human…