All posts by Normal Bob

Artist, Atheist, Anthropologist http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/26/nyregion/26union.html?_r=2&

No Light Tonight

Comic about my ex-roommate
Comic about my ex-roommate

Can I mention how one thing piles onto another, and then another and another until there’s too much in just one day? Electricity going out again, and just after it went out a week before and blew out my surge protector and my desktop computer, and now it’s out again and has probably repeated the tragedy this afternoon, and I have a roommate who refuses to pay rent but stays anyhow and thinks that for some reason she’s entitled to a rent free life because it seems fair? Not sure the logic on that, because there is no logic with her. I mean him. I mean fuck. It’s like living with the Grim Reaper.

Comic about my ex-roommate
Comic about my ex-roommate

Can I stress to you how not ever getting laid compounds the matter ten fold? Bob said he will throw himself off the Stanton Island Ferry when no one wants to have sex with him anymore like Spaulding Grey. I can see that. And in the same breath he tells me I should be getting laid every night according to what he sees on the site. That’s what everyone says. I have my excuses.

Alt is dead, and it’s been a consistent source of relaxation and family for me while my home is being held hostage by the crazy-no-rent-payer. Alt has been my office, family, and function. Everything is going away. TLA and ALT both dead.

Comic about my ex-roommate
Comic about my ex-roommate

And my head is getting worse, unable to let go of the hang-ups and move forward with the art. My perception of love is tilting off balance with each loveless day. If you let too many crazy people surround you they will try and spin you dizzy.

Not having the steady love of a lovely takes its toll.

But the future looks bright.

There’s just no light tonight.

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No Mohammad Dressup Hate Mail?

Normal Bob & schoolgirls
Nicole Consentino, Normal Bob and Trisha Star

Today is my last day in Chicago before I go back home to NYC tomorrow morning, and I had an unbelievable time here with my brothers and their families, and a couple friends who I got to see. In fact, I got to spend some time with my friend Super Chic Trisha Star, and we discussed quite seriously the idea of a Normal Bob Smith tour. A party which, in 2007, would be hosted by me, organized by her, that would have several random dates and locations across the USA. She throws parties. That’s what she does for a living! And now that I’m touring more with the movie to Universities and film festivals, the door has been opened for such a project. So get your plaid skirts and party horns ready.

Hey, you wanna know how much hate mail MohammedDressup.com has gotten since I posted it over a month ago? Care to venture a guess? 40 letters? 100 letters? 1,000 letters? How about this… to give you a hint, Jesus Dress Up to date has brought in roughly 7,000 email complaints since I first posted it 6 years ago. Now are you ready to guess? Okay, here’s the answer: Muhammad Dress Up has brought in, *one last tally* okay, exactly ZERO hate letters! Not one! And here people were telling me to live the remainder of my short-ass life in hiding! Christians trumpeting the unbridled lunacy of Muslims, counting the days to when my head is no longer attached to my shoulders! Hate mailers daring me to tempt the itchy guillotine-switch-finger of America’s Muslim community! And I have yet to receive even one “you suck.”

I’m ashamed of myself for even humoring the idea of a threat at all. And anyone who’s out there promoting the idea that we should succumb to the “terror” we’ve dreamt up ourselves should be set straight. We seriously don’t even realize how programed we all are to be Chicken Littles at the drop of a doodle. That said, I suggest sending me no more emails telling me how gutsy I am for posting the site, or how proud you are of me for putting my life on the line for the cause. I just might dedicate pg 300 to fans who seem to be fantasizing about me being the first artist beheaded for a drawing.

That said, isn’t it fun having Satan’s Salvation back? And the Prophet Muhammad lends himself so wonderfully to it. I can’t wait to illustrate the next 10 episodes I’ve written when I get back. I love that comic so much.

Also, today my Wikipedia article became official, losing its “Up for deletion” title. I totally appreciate being deemed notable. I’m still a sucker for any sort of recognition at all. I mean, I love guys like Dawkins and Harris, but they totally trump anything I’m doing, ten-fold. But I still have dreams of changing that to 7-fold, or 3-fold, or maybe even no folds at all in the coming years.

Crispin Glover’s What Is It?

Crispin Glover 1992 by Normal Bob
Crispin Glover 1992 by Normal Bob

Last night I went to see Crispin Glover’s “What Is It?”” along with a poetry reading from his eight books and Q&A with the artist himself. I really am a big fan of his. Have been since I was a teen. I’d seen this show before about 9 years ago when I lived in Chicago. It’s gotten a lot better since. The movie’s different, and he has a lot more to say now about everything.

I definitely feel like I’ve outgrown him a bit. Hard to explain, but I want to try. His movie was very striking, as most anything Crispin has ever done is. But I found myself desiring a clearer story line. It was VERY random, with tons of obscure symbolism, and what seemed to be random scenes shot throughout the course of several years put together. And I am at the point as an artist where it’s so important for the message in my art to be clearly stated.

I understand the concept of leaving the definition of the art up to each individual person, but I am far more keen on order and clear story-telling, at least when is comes to story-telling mediums (writing, comics, movies, etc). To me this is the very point of these mediums.

Afterwards, during Q&A, he did answer some of the questions the film had left me with 9 years ago. One of the answers being the statement against corporately funded films and how this standard in American films has established a long list of taboo subjects the public is being taught to fear. I happen to agree with this 100%, but interestingly enough I also noted that despite the fact that his movie featured probably every single taboo subject, from blackface Minstrels, Downs Syndrome/crippled actors, Swastikas, Shirley Temple erotica, porn, racism (and any combination of each imaginable), even snail-salting, the one thing he did not feature in “What Is It?” was blasphemy. There were no sac religious images throughout the entire piece. This of course led me to be extremely curious as to what Crispin’s (one of my heros since high school) beliefs were.

While he was taking questions he seemed a little like he was getting tired of answering the same questions again and again. He even said “I only have time for a couple more questions. Come on, be aggressive! Ask me anything!” So I shouted out: “What religion are you?”

He replied that he wasn’t raised with any religious beliefs, but considered himself spiritual, and believed that spirituality was an important thing for people to hold onto.

Now, I’m not sure how well you know me, but this particular response to that question is a huge pet peeve of mine, especially when dealing with an artist whose message is one of toppling taboos. And the lack of any religious references in such a film, I see it as basically the artist shielding his eyes from a topic he doesn’t want to address. Either that or, God forbid, he purposely left the subject out because he actually believes it is the only topic that should be off the table. His answer to my question led me to go with the later. I’d be very interested to know how he’d respond to this. I suppose I’ll have to wait another 10 years for the next show to find out.

Crispin Glover laughing nervously at offensive magnets
Crispin wears his “What is it?” face while reluctantly accepting a set of my Final Justice Jesus Dressup magnets as he signs his “What Is It?” poster for me.

He did entertain me for what ended up being around 4 hours of show, and I gave him a set of Final Justice Jesus magnets (which he thanked me for, but refused to hold up. He said he didn’t like to hold products in photos, and I understand that). I bought one of his posters of a Nazi-dominatrix Shirley Temple holding a whip up her cunt while standing in front of a red Nazi Flag with a huge Swastika on it. I figured I could find the CD another day, but this was my one chance to get the poster.

He also said that he feels there are only three movies he’s done that he really loves: River’s Edge, What Is It?, and The Orkly Kid (which I have never even heard of). I need to see that one right away.

Shortchanged

I’ve been feeling like I’ve been shortchanged, and it occurred when I was a kid and a teenager. I think I am now paying for this in my adulthood (as is always the case). There are a few things I can pinpoint in my youth that have led me to being the single, often lonely man that I am. Here’s what I think those things are:

Normal Bob 1982
Normal Bob 1982

When I was a young child I had trouble finding friends on my own. My mother has told me this many times, and even states in the movie (Bob Smith USA) that she would go out to find friends for me to play with. “Anything, so I wouldn’t wouldn’t have to play with him all the time!” I think this is a large part of the reason why I keep to myself and feel awkward with the initial meeting of someone.

Then when I became a teenager I became an ugly mess. I broke out in acne. I grew too fast which led to a complete loss of posture. I lacked anything that could be seen as cool, and subsequently had no dating/romantic life at all. Nothing until the age of 25. At the time I knew that this lack of experience was going to handicap me as an adult. I even said the words out loud on many occasions, I was so sure.

My religious upbringing only added to the confusion. Sex is a sin. That’s what I was taught. So all of the sexual feelings and thoughts I had at the time were wrong, dirty, and even creepy too have (or so I thought). This made me ashamed of myself and it was totally obvious in the way I behaved. I was a sexual being trying to hide the fact that I was just that. What a fucking mess.

I was just a pussy white kid, just like the ones I point at today in Amazing Strangers. I was weak, skinny, low-self-esteemed, with by no means ANY lessons in how to be a man and attract the opposite sex.

So this is what I have come up with for why, against my will, I’ve been single most of my life. It really kills me inside to think that these things have left me less of a man that what I hope to be.

Nightmares

Lately I’ve been having these nightmares that I’ve failed in New York and have been forced to go live back at home with my parents in my old bedroom in Lakewood, Colorado. I wake up in that bed, in that room, and remember the great things I once had out here with my freelancing, the site, the experiences and friends, and how I lost it all, and I can never quite put my finger on the reason why I lost it. And this last version of the dream I had two nights ago my mom is telling me that I’d have to go back to high school if I was going to live under their roof and their rules again. The dream feels way too fucking real.

Now, nothing could be further from the truth here. I am really doing quite well. I just got a regular gig with Heavy.com that eases the money worries I’ve had in the past. I love what I am doing, and I have some great friends here too. I am so proud of my artistic talents, and my writing skills, and the balls I had to get this whole site rolling in the first place so that I could be where I am today My dream job in New York City with great hope for my future. I take great solace in the knowledge that there’s nothing anybody can do to take what I’ve done away from me. I’ve already established myself here and I am proud. But still I’m haunted by the thought that I am going to fail, or that I am somehow already a failure because I cannot seem to get a girlfriend or attract someone to date me.

This is definitely a hang up for me that I can’t seem to get around. It hinders my progression as an artist, holds back the site, and keeps me from being even more successful with what I’m doing.

One thing for sure, I have never written out my problems so coherently as I have here this morning. Maybe this’ll help me figure it all out. That’s what I’m hoping for at least. Anything to put an end to this behavior I’ve acquired and grown so accustomed.